From my personal diary [exclusive to Mevakesh readers]....
I came to America almost two weeks ago to collect for a mitzva cause. I have no guts to ask people for money. I intuitively feel that they really don't want to give me and I don't want to make them feel uncomfortable by asking. So I just don't ask. It is a good cause. Helping people get married. I wish that I could help hundreds of couples. But when you don't ask then you don't collect much.
In the meantime I am sitting in the YU Beis Medrash having the time of my life. טוב לי תורת פיך מאלפי זהב וכסף. The Rebbe Shlita gave me a bracha that while I am here that I should bring people closer to Hashem. Trying. At least to bring MYSELF closer to Hashem.
Hoping that Hashem will send me the right people at the right time. Hundreds if not thousands of people know I am here and why. That is the power of the Internet. So Hashem can send me what I need to collect בדרך הטבע.
This is a really great job. I should do this full time. Be a fundrasier who never actively raises funds. He just sits with a Mesivta Bava Kamma and Mesivta Yevamos [gotta LOVE those Mesivtas] and tries to SHTEIG [when he understands something. Usually not the case]! In his spare time he post funnies from Charlie Brown and his chevre [those I sometimes understand]. Charlie is decades old yet he hasn't aged a day. Ha-levai by us.....
Soon I return to Israel where I will have to face my own personal struggle of putting food on the table for my family. Here, Baruch Hashem, people are inviting me left and right so the food is plentiful. There, everything is on my bill and I have no income to cover it.
There is really only one response besides the basic hishtadlus, and that is - BITACHON! Hashem got me this far against all natural means. I never made anything close to a living yet I am here and have a family of 8 people. So He will continue supporting me.
Ha-levai that Hashem send me the means not only to help myself but to help all of Klal Yisrael. I am not looking for vacations in Miami Beach [been there, did that], fancy cars [don't drive], extravagant simchas [the wedding I recently celebrated made up for in simcha what it lacked in fanciness], or any other displays of material wealth.
Just to serve Hashem bi-simcha and to help others do the same. But for that I need Hashem to show me the way and bring down the shefa.
אני שכבתי ואישנה הקיצותי כי ה' יסמכני - I can comfortably sleep because when I awaken I will see that Hashem helped me. [Tehillim 3/6]
