NEW YORK CITY — Zohran Mamdani, winner of New York City's mayoral Democratic primary, has vowed to knock down the One World Trade Center in order to build more affordable housing.
Mamdani admitted that taking down the popular tower was something of a political *suicide* mission, but he remained undeterred.
"We will not allow the wealthy Jewish capitalist elite to hijack our city," said Mamdani. "As mayor, I promise to take this problem head on by *bringing down* One World Trade Center and putting cheap, government-controlled apartments in its place. I understand that people believe this initiative could really *blow up* in my face. But so long as I'm at the controls, that's where we're heading."
Many New Yorkers have expressed doubts about Mamdani's plan, not believing it to be feasible. "That tower would be almost impossible to take down, unless some planes would crash into it or something," said local man Roger Philips. "Mamdani said he has a plan he's been working on for years with a dozen or so experts from the *Middle East*, but I'm skeptical."
At publishing time, Mamdani had announced he would also be removing all synagogues in the city to make way for new government-operated grocery stores.
He also pledged to make a lot of things *free*.
Free health care.
Free education.
Free Palestine.
