"Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people."
Eleanor RooseveltWe live in a generation which suffers from various ailments that the world has never before seen. One of these ailments is the proliferation of the spoken and written word.
Blabber-blabber-blabber-blabber! All day long people are talking-texting-emailing-etc. No quiet. Silence has an inherent value regardless but when almost all of the words spoken are superfluous and unnecessary - all the more so [a fortiori].
In the religious community there is loads of talking. Unfortunately - most of the talking is not about Torah, Tefillah or Avodas Hashem. The "average" conversation is about events - sports, politics, weather etc. But all too often the conversation centers around people. Good people are often considered less than interesting. All they do is work-learn-daven-do chesed-raise-their-families etc. People like the juicy.
Yes - we all know about the prohibition of lashon hara but we still speak and hear and read about it. The newspapers are filled with lashon hara as are the blogs and the daily conversations of people - even on Shabbos at the Holy Shabbos Table.
One of the popular topics when it happens is when someone "comes out of the closet". Why should someone's sexual orientation be anybody's business? Isn't it a breach of tzniyus to talk about such things? Even saying that someone is heterosexual should not be a topic of discussion.
Yet - when the knowledge of this person's inclinations becomes public, within a very short time span EVERYBODY knows about the latest revelation. It is a tragedy, a destruction of a life, an embarassment to the family and if the person chooses to act on his inclinations - a horrible sin. Why do people feel the need to talk about such things?
Whether or not there is an acutal aveirah of lashon hara would depend on certain factors which are beyond the scope of this post to discuss - but it is certainly not a worthwhile topic.
I am going to make a radical suggestion.
Hold on.
We have a Torah!! Why can't people talk about TORAH when they meet. When you go to a wedding and everybody is standing around at the shmorg - instead of talking dvarim bteilim as most people do, what about a beautiful Ohr Hachaim Hakadosh or a kashya from a recent daf yomi sugya? Unfortunately - most people are lacking in their connection to Torah. It is HARD for people to learn. The yetzer hara works overtime to get people to do ANYTHING but learn. I have been trying to get people to learn for decades and never stop being amazed by how much resistance I meet. Even if people keep their set sedarim, outside of those times Torah is all but forgotten. That is too bad. Torah is so sweet and fills one's life with meaning. Plus and primarily - it is a Divine imperative.
The pasuk says ודברת בם you must speak in them - meaning Torah. The gemara [Yoma 19] expounds ולא בדברים בטלים but not meaningless empty words. From here the gemara learns that one who speaks דברים בטלים is עובר on a מצות עשה [see אנציקלופדיה תלמודית - ערך דברים בטלים].
One of the most impressive praises said about Rav Lichtenstein was by his son. He said that in his life he NEVER ONCE heard his father speak דברים בטלים. WOW!!
We are not on that level. What we CAN do is try to curb and lessen the volume of hot-air-that-makes-noise that emanates from our mouths. If we do - we will be much better off in both this and the next worlds.
There is much more to say - but I sign off for now and hope to revisit this topic in the future.
לזכות שמחה בן נעכא גיטל לברכה והצלחה בכל מעשה ידיו!
