My Trip Home

It started on the right foot. The cab driver who took me to the airport was a COUSIN of mine!! So lovely! His name was Hussein and his great great grandfather Yishmael was a brother of my great great grandfather Yitzchak. Upon arrival and payment he showed appreciation for my generosity by not returning my change and deciding how much the tip should be. He certainly understood that his Jewish cousins are gomlei chasodim. When I asked him for my change he was shocked. Being that he is mishpocho [the blood type not the magazine] I let him keep it. I was so grateful to finally have arrived after we got caught in rush hour traffic and took a grand tour of Queens on the way to JFK. Speaking of which I'd rather not be gunned down as president and have an airport named after me and remain simple me. I am quite happy above ground and pushing daisies doesn't seem appealing. Poor Jackie. Poor John.

I spoke to the lady who checked in my luggage in Hebrew only to discover that her accent wasn't Israeli but Spanish. Latin Americans don't speak Hebrew?? That was amusing.

On the plane I received my desired aisle seat and was placed next to a young American post college age Jewish girl. I attempted discreetly to switch seats [not מעיקר הדין but later on in the flight I was served מחמירים yogurt. If my yogurt can be מחמיר then so can I] but with no success, so I took my Gemara Ksubos and Pachad Yitzchak on Sukkos and Sports Illustrated and eagerly sat down to SHTIEG in this co-ed "beis medrash".

When I returned from maariv I found that my neighbor - I kid you not sweetest, beloved friends - had changed into her beach wear. Yes, she adorned herself with what looked strangely like a bathing suit. I looked around and found no bodies of water. Maybe she was inspired by the picture on the screen of the plane flying over the waters.

Maybe not.

Anyway, this presents two problems. Number one - I am not allowed to see her [un]dressed that way and she was right next to me so it was be impossible to avoid. Number two - I can't learn Torah with her exposed flesh in my vision. But how can a Yid sit on a plane and not learn. [I couldn't even say tehillim and then watch a movie like the tichel wearing lady in front of me. Well, the movie part I could have done but wasn't particularly interested. I have a yetzer hara but he doesn't try to get me to watch movies. He quit long ago. ברוך הוא וברוך שמו] What else is there to do?? Finally-finally-finally - 10 uninterrupted hours of learning. No phone, email, family distractions or otherwise. This is my chance. Especially after 3 weeks of so much בטלה. I was feeling very uncomfortable as I felt that not learning was not an option but learning with this lifeguard-ready-to-jump-in to my right was also not an option.

I wanted to say something but didn't want to be the subject of an article in the Jerusalem Post or Jewish Week: Charedi man disrupts El Al flight and demands that female passenger wear long sleeves and thick tights.

So what did I do? Are you curious? I'll tell you nonetheless.

I sat down and started hemming and hawing. I said, "Could ask you a big favor?" "Yes", she answered wondering what this strange man [and she doesn't know how strange!!] was about to ask.

I then said something I normally would not say. I said "You know, you are a very pretty girl and it is disconcerting for me to sit next to you when you are dressed that way." I thought that even if the request backfires the compliment would keep things in the realm of the civil.

She smiled and said "Sure" and put her shirt back on. "I better get used to this. I am going to be living in Israel for five months".

"Are we still friends?" I anxiously asked. חברים כל ישראל - ונאמר אמן. "Of course", she answered. She then explained that it's so hot on the plane and that she couldn't locate the vents above each seat that blow cold air [this plane didn't have them] and that is why she felt it necessary to dress for the occasion. I couldn't help but agree wearing my black suit and tie. So I told her that I'd take care of it.

I approached the stewardess [also not going to win the "Tznua of the year award"] and asked if they could cool off the plane. Perhaps open a window or door. [That part I didn't say]. She agreed.

Lo and behold, soon after, the plane became quite chilly! Hundreds of passengers enjoying the cool air all in the zchus of my beach loving neighbor. I thought to do this on every flight. Complain about the heat necessitating air conditioning and the covering up of flesh. Later in the flight the man behind me asked for my blanket because he was cold.... Little did he know WHY he was cold.

I guess one could say that it was a "cool" flight.

Towards the end of the flight I spoke to her for a few minutes and among  other things explained that the first word a Jew says every day is "Thanks" and that yehudi means "thanker". I had rightfully assumed she hadn't attended my seminary girl shiurim and heard these ideas. She liked it.

Before we landed she put on a long skirt. She explained that her father's friend told her that it would be easier to get through customs if she dressed "modestly". I reflected. She understands that covering up is "modest" and the corollary is that not covering up is "immodest". So why would she dress in a way that she herself considers "immodest"?! Modesty is a universally extolled quality, not only a Torah one.

One thing is for sure. She is coming back to haShem. All Jews are. It's just a matter of time. Hopefully today was a small step in that direction.