R' Yosef Tzvi Rimon
The Time to Give a Baby Girl a Name
Question: When is the best time to give a name to a newborn baby girl?
Answer: There is no strict halachic answer to this question, but there are various customs. Some have written that it is best to give a name right after the birth, without any delay. But the common practice is to give the name during the Torah reading (although it is clear that being called to the Torah is not a critical factor). In Responsa Tzitz Eliezer (18:54), the author explains that hearing the Torah is a way of listening to the word of G-d, while giving a name is related to a Holy Spirit that inspired the father, as is written, "You will be called by a new name, which will be declared by G-d" [Yeshayahu 62:2].
Which instance of Torah reading is to be preferred? In several places (for example, Minchat Yitzchak 4:106), Bnei Yissasschar is quoted as saying that since a person's name is his essence and giving a name "enhances the Jewish sanctity of the child," the giving of the name should never be delayed. He therefore recommends giving the name to a girl the very first time after the birth that the Torah is read, even on a weekday. It seems that this is also the opinion of Tzitz Eliezer (13:20).
However, it is written in Responsa Divrei Yatziv (appendix, 102), that since the name is inspired by a Holy Spirit that reaches the father, he should rise up to the highest spiritual level during the week, on Shabbat. This is therefore the best time to give a name to a girl. "That is the highest level day, the holy Shabbat is the day of the soul, and then the name which is related to the root of the soul should be given." This is also brought by Minchat Yitzchak, who also adds another reason. He writes that it is a good idea to prepare a meal and a party when the name is given, and this is easier to do on Shabbat than on a weekday. (See other customs that he brings too.)
We can also suggest another reason to prefer giving the name on Shabbat. Usually the Shabbat services are better attended than during the week, and as is written, "The glory of the King is greatest in the midst of a large group" [Mishlei 14:28]. Birth is a wonderful and miraculous process, where a new soul enters the world. When the father is called to read the Torah and declares the birth, he is announcing the miracle. The more people are in attendance, the greater will be the praise to G-d for the miracle that took place, and the more widely will He be recognized in the world.
The Blessing "Hatov V'Hameitiv" for the Birth of a Girl
Question: Is it proper to recite the blessing "Hatov V'Hameitiv" on the occasion of the birth of a girl?
Answer: "For every event that makes his heart happy that comes from the good of the world, a person is required to recite a blessing (of Shehechiyanu)... And if he shares this good with someone else, he should recite the blessing 'Hatov V'Hameitiv'." [Shulchan Aruch Harav, Birchot Hanehenin 12:1]. Based on this idea, the Talmud decreed (Berachot 59b) that Hatov V'Hameitiv should be recited by the father of a new son, and this ruling appears in the Shulchan Aruch (Orach Chaim 223:1). The Talmud and the Shulchan Aruch do not directly mention the birth of a daughter, but Aruch Hashulchan (223:1) derives from their language that for the birth of a girl neither Hatov nor Shehechiyanu should be recited, because "this is not such a happy occasion."
The Mishna Berura disagrees (2; Shaar Tzion 3), and he writes that the blessing Hatov V'Hameitiv should not be recited but Shehechiyanu should be said because of the joy of the birth of a daughter. (This is how Tzitz Eliezer understood. See also the Mishna Berura, who gives another reason.)
But if this is so, why shouldn't the blessing be Hatov V'Hameitiv? After all, the birth of a daughter is clearly a joy shared by the father and the mother. Biur Halacha explains (223) in the name of the Rashba (4:77) that the two blessings are not recited for every pleasurable event but only in a case which provides a practical benefit (such as getting an inheritance or buying a new fruit). The Rashba explains that the benefit of the birth of a son is that he will take care of the parents when they grow old and that he is considered as a continuation of the family. This might be interpreted to mean that since this reasoning does not apply to a daughter no blessing should be recited for her birth, and in fact this is the ruling accepted by most of the rabbis. (The father should recite the Shehechiyanu since he receives another benefit that is not relevant for his wife, observing the mitzva "be fruitful and multiply" [Bereishit 1:28]. See Mishna Berura.)
In practice, it seems that at the very least the blessing Shehechiyanu should be recited for the birth of a girl (as Biur Halacha rules), and that those who prefer to recite "Hatov V'Hameitiv" have good reasons to do so:
First of all, as noted above, neither the Talmud nor the Shulchan Aruch explicitly state that the blessings should not be recited. Second, in the modern world there can be no doubt that daughters also help support their parents in their old age (maybe even more than sons), and thus the parents receive a tangible benefit from the birth. In addition, Rabbi Chaim Na'eh (Ketzot Hashulchan 64, note 10) disagrees with the way Biur Halacha understood the Rashba, and he feels that Shehechiyanu and Hatov should be recited for all joys, and not only ones that brings a tangible benefit. It may be that in the past people were less happy about the birth of a girl, but today a new daughter is greeted with great joy, just as for the birth of a boy. Since this is a shared joy, the proper blessing is Hatov V'Hameitiv.
It is true that in the case of a doubt in reciting a blessing one should be stringent (and not recite the blessing), but the BACH writes that the blessings Shehechiyanu and Hatov V'Hameitiv are exceptions to this rule (Orach Chaim 29:2). Since they are recited "when a person feels happy in his heart, he can recite them even though he is not absolutely sure that he has an obligation. This is because it is not a violation of the prohibition of taking G-d's name in vain if he is indeed happy to be alive at this moment." Therefore, in a case where a person feels that he wants to thank G-d he can take the doubts into account and recite a blessing of praise.
