בָּעֶרֶב הִיא בָאָה וּבַבֹּקֶר הִיא שָׁבָה אֶל בֵּית הַנָּשִׁים שֵׁנִי אֶל יַד שַׁעֲשְׁגַז סְרִיס הַמֶּלֶךְ שֹׁמֵר הַפִּילַגְשִׁים לֹא תָבוֹא עוֹד אֶל הַמֶּלֶךְ כִּי אִם חָפֵץ בָּהּ הַמֶּלֶךְ וְנִקְרְאָה בְשֵׁם.
This is classic "man" who lives his animal soul with every iota of his being. He wants a wife who will serve as queen. To be one's wife there must be a personality click, similar aspirations etc. etc.. To be queen, she needs many MANY different qualities.
Very little time [relative to other things] is actually spent in bed having relations even for the most licentious and sexually depraved people. Yet, for Achashveirosh, all that matters is how she is in bed. He calls all of the besulos, has them prepare for a year, beautifying themselves for the big night. They do what they do and then he sends them away - never to see them again. His wife is going to be the one that pleases him in bed. Period. It doesn't matter how rotten her character is. [Why did he choose Esther? Maybe for another post. But she clearly wasn't like "all the girls"].
בימים ההם בזמן הזה. More than a few people today view women the same way. That is why in the entertainment industry, EVERYBODY [with few exceptions] gets divorced. They got married for physical reasons, but that wears off quickly and then the man starts looking elsewhere. She eventually finds out - and that is the beginning of the end. These are the most "attractive" and "beautiful" people [by Western standards], who have endless money, yet their relationships are in the dumps.
For us the lesson is invest in the emotional and spiritual side of your relationships. Only then will it last and only then will the physical be pleasing in the long term.
