A few years ago, a young American Bachur made a ‘deal’ with his father.
His father would fully support the young man in his learning for three full years on the condition that that after three years, the boy would return to the States- get married and enter the family business.
The three years passed quickly and not surprisingly at the conclusion of the three years, the young man’s heart was attached to Torah and learning and he wanted to renege on his previous agreement with his father.
The young man was already advanced enough in his studies to know that the great Mitzvah of Learning Torah trumps the Mitzvah of Kibud Av V’Eim, nevertheless, he felt more confident if he would have the backing of Rav Elyashiv in –what he thought for himself- to be a simple and straightforward question.
He waited for the great sage one day after his morning Shacharis and approached the sagacious centenarian with the confidence of young man who was convinced he knew what the great Gadol would answer.
To his surprise, Rav Elyashiv was not in a rush and actually paused to inquire and ask more details of what the young man thought was an ‘open and shut question’.
“Will there be Shalom in the family if you renege on your agreement?
Will your father harbor a grudge which could impact and continue into your marriage if you remain here in Eretz Yisroel?
Will the discomfort and distrust fester and ultimately distract you from pursuing your Torah studies here in Yerushalayim?”
After thinking about Rav Elyashiv astute questions, the young man had to admit that indeed, his lack of fulfillment of his prior agreement with his father would disrupt the harmony in the family and no doubt lead to disruptions and distractions in his learning.
Rav Elyashiv remained silent for a moment; all of the problems of the entire Jewish world which laid heavily on his frail, yet, broad shoulders, would have to wait as his total concentration and focus remained on the dilemma just brought to him.
Finally, Rav Elyashiv looked up and notwithstanding his knowledge of the intricacies of the Shulchan Aruch he looked at the young man and announced with a sure and assertive voice; “Your will be unable to study uninterrupted here in Yerushalayim; the distractions will impact on your learning and on your Shalom Bayis; plus, you are honoring your father by abiding by your mutual agreement. You are to go back to the States and keep your word; you will learn when you have the chance to and you will be respecting your father; this is the will of our holy Torah which you must observe.”
The young man was awestruck by the surprising decision of the Gadol; yet, this is how we observe our Holy Torah- only through the interpretation of our sages and our leaders.
The young man accepted the great sage’s advice and returned to the States.
That was the Torah’s way and that was the Torah directive to follow.
( Sefer “Haggadah Shel Pesach” with commentary “YIsah Brocha” by HaRav Yosef Elyashiv”; Bnei Brak 5773- pages 405-406)
His father would fully support the young man in his learning for three full years on the condition that that after three years, the boy would return to the States- get married and enter the family business.
The three years passed quickly and not surprisingly at the conclusion of the three years, the young man’s heart was attached to Torah and learning and he wanted to renege on his previous agreement with his father.
The young man was already advanced enough in his studies to know that the great Mitzvah of Learning Torah trumps the Mitzvah of Kibud Av V’Eim, nevertheless, he felt more confident if he would have the backing of Rav Elyashiv in –what he thought for himself- to be a simple and straightforward question.
He waited for the great sage one day after his morning Shacharis and approached the sagacious centenarian with the confidence of young man who was convinced he knew what the great Gadol would answer.
To his surprise, Rav Elyashiv was not in a rush and actually paused to inquire and ask more details of what the young man thought was an ‘open and shut question’.
“Will there be Shalom in the family if you renege on your agreement?
Will your father harbor a grudge which could impact and continue into your marriage if you remain here in Eretz Yisroel?
Will the discomfort and distrust fester and ultimately distract you from pursuing your Torah studies here in Yerushalayim?”
After thinking about Rav Elyashiv astute questions, the young man had to admit that indeed, his lack of fulfillment of his prior agreement with his father would disrupt the harmony in the family and no doubt lead to disruptions and distractions in his learning.
Rav Elyashiv remained silent for a moment; all of the problems of the entire Jewish world which laid heavily on his frail, yet, broad shoulders, would have to wait as his total concentration and focus remained on the dilemma just brought to him.
Finally, Rav Elyashiv looked up and notwithstanding his knowledge of the intricacies of the Shulchan Aruch he looked at the young man and announced with a sure and assertive voice; “Your will be unable to study uninterrupted here in Yerushalayim; the distractions will impact on your learning and on your Shalom Bayis; plus, you are honoring your father by abiding by your mutual agreement. You are to go back to the States and keep your word; you will learn when you have the chance to and you will be respecting your father; this is the will of our holy Torah which you must observe.”
The young man was awestruck by the surprising decision of the Gadol; yet, this is how we observe our Holy Torah- only through the interpretation of our sages and our leaders.
The young man accepted the great sage’s advice and returned to the States.
That was the Torah’s way and that was the Torah directive to follow.
( Sefer “Haggadah Shel Pesach” with commentary “YIsah Brocha” by HaRav Yosef Elyashiv”; Bnei Brak 5773- pages 405-406)
