Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Better Or Different?

לזכות א"מ ר' יצחק יונה בן חנה
וא"מ מרת הענא מרים בת חנה

There are two ways you can deal with your washing machine which is malfunctioning. 

1] You can call the fix it man and he will fix it. Then your machine will work once again but it will still be the same old machine. 

2] You can "chuck it" [do people still use that phrase? Been outta the loop for a while] and buy a BRAND NEW ONE! Then it will be a newer model and work much better than the old one ever did. It will also have additional features. We would all buy a new one if we could and the only thing stopping us is the cost.

There are two terms that we use in the 13 middos of rachamim that relate to teshuva. We begin "Hashem Hashem" - The gemara [R.H. 17] says that this means that Hashem is Hashem before we sin and Hashem is Hashem after we do teshuva. Later, we say ונקה which means [Shavuos 39a] He cleaneses us after we do teshuva. Why do we mention Hashem forgiving us after teshuva twice?

Answers the Maharal [נתיב התשובה פ"ו] that the second mention of "Hashem" is referring to someone who does teshuva on all of their sins. ונקה refers to someone who only does teshuva on some of his sins.

This is deep. The name of Hashem י-ה-ו-ה comes from the word הויה - bringing into existence. After a person sins, the first world of שם הויה is destroyed. After teshuva, the second שם הויה comes and creates a new world for this person. But that is only when he makes a complete transformation and receives atonement for all of his sins. When he does teshuva on only a portion of his sins then it is only the middah of ונקה that cleanses him. No new world - just a partial cleansing, an improvement, a renovation. Without ונקה we wouldn't know that a partial job works.

Rav Hutner would say: "תשובה איז נישט דער טייטש בעסער ווערען תשובה איז דער טייטש אנדרעש ווערן" - "Teshuva doesn't mean to become better. Teshuva means to become DIFFERENT".

I don't know about you sweet friends, but as we enter the teshuva season, I REALLY want to break out of negative habits and thought patterns and become DIFFERENT and TRANSFORMED. I don't just want to speak a bit less lashon hara and have a little more kavana when I daven but to become a completely different person. Remain "me" with the same qualities I have always had but in an astonishing new form.

Maybe you'll join me??

Here are the words of the Rosh Yeshiva ztz"l: