Continuous Teshuva

This is a response to an email I received from a beloved friend who wishes to remain anonymous.

We all have done things we regret. The question you asked is, once we do teshuva, express remorse, say vidui and resolve never to do it again, can we then remove the sin from our consciousness or must we constantly revisit the sin and continuously repent.

There is a halachic side to this question which I dealt with in a recent article bs"d. Here, I will relate from a more hashkafic perspective.

A moshol: A child is disrespectful to his parents. He then reconsiders and thinks of how they brought him into this world and he only exists because of them. He feels awful so he goes up to them and asks forgiveness for his insolence.

The next day he recalls all of the times they took him to the doctor when he was sick. His new found appreciation makes him more remorseful.  He feels badly again so he asks them for forgiveness.

The next day he thinks of how they gave him full financial support for his whole life until that day. He says "WHOA! How could I disrespect my benefactors?!" So he asks for forgiveness again.

The next day he finds out that they put 15 million dollars in a trust fund for him. He says "Those tzadikim I disrespected???" So he asks them for forgiveness...... again.

The next day they give him the keys to the ten room apartment they secretly bought for him years back opposite the Inbal hotel [4 million dollar value]. He says "Oh me oh my!! How could I have disrespected them?? They are so wonderful!" So he begs them for forgiveness once again.

The nimshal: Every day we get a new appreciation of Hashem's kindness. So every day we intensify our teshuva on previous sins with the understanding that yesterday's teshuva was not enough. We do this not out of fear or guilt but out of LOVE!!

Love.

:-)

[PS - We should all have such parents and be such parents:-)]