Today we had a kiddush in shul for a chashuv Yid in the neighborhood who is returning to the States after having lived here for over 20 years. I thought that was very nice. Many times people leave the neighborhood and there is no kiddush for them even though they too are chashuv Yidden because WHAT YID ISN'T CHASHUV??? But at least they had one today to honor my friend.
One thing I noticed - there were no hugs. Charedi men almost never hug [at weddings there is a custom for some to give the chosson and maybe the father of the chosson and kallah a kiss - but that's it]. Why not? In general, men don't hug. In the outside world, when a man wants to express affection to a women [even an aquaintance], he will hug and/or kiss her while a man is faaar more likely to get a handshake. I understand why. It is far more enjoyable to hug and kiss a women to whom a man is naturally attracted than a man to whom he is not.
It is PRECISELY for this reason why we should hug men and not women. When you hug a man it is PURE - nothing sexual at all. Just an expression of affection. A way of saying "I love you". WE ARE OBLIGATED TO LOVE ALL MANKIND!! The famous ואהבת לרעך כמוך. We are also obligated to love women but may not be expressed in any physical way because that is not pure.
A handshake? Some say that the source of handshakes is that in the olden days people would often be holding a gun in their right hand. So in order to show that there will be no violence in this encounter, hands are shaken. That is not a show of affection. I often feel when shaking hands that it is a way of DISTANCING the other person. "Keep your distance dude". The handshake keeps them at a safe distance. The hug is the real thing. The hug says "I embrace who you are. I want you close to me".
So Bnei Torah should be the first to hug because we are most makpid on mitzvos. Why don't we start with expressing our ואהבת לרעך כמוך?
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From a newspaper article about the possible health hazards of handshakes:
Hospitals should ban handshakes and encourage ‘fist bumps’ as an alternative greeting, it has been claimed.
Fist bumps – as made famous by US President Barack Obama - spread fewer germs than handshakes and it is hoped this might reduce the spread of drug-resistant superbugs.
Many US hospitals are already ‘no handshake zones’ – and now experts are calling for UK
hospitals to follow suit.
Dr Dave Whitworth, senior lecturer at the Institute of Biological, Environmental and Rural Sciences, Aberystwyth University, believes the scheme should be rolled out to UK hospitals to help prevent the spread of drug-resistant ‘superbugs’ such as MRSA and C Difficile.
‘The huge numbers of cases of antimicrobial resistant infections and hospital-acquired infections each year means that even a slight reduction in the frequency of transmission could save large numbers of lives,’ said Whitworth.
‘I would recommend handshake bans.
‘If it does nothing else, it raises awareness of the problems of infectious disease in the healthcare setting.’
Maureen Shawn Kennedy, editor of the American Journal of Nursing, agreed: ‘There are just so many reasons to avoid handshakes, even when people are washing their hands,’ she said.
‘Just because someone is walking around in a white coat... doesn’t mean they don’t have bacteria on their hands.’
Dr Whitworth conducted a study in 2014 which found a firm handshake was the least hygienic greeting, transferring 124 million live bacteria on average.
This was nearly twice as much as a ‘high five’, and ten times more than a fist-bump.
‘We tested the idea that different contact greetings might allow different numbers of bacteria to move between shakers, and we found that a firm prolonged handshake allowed the largest transfer of bacteria of any greeting we tested,’ said Dr Whitworth.
‘The best was the fist bump, so we suggested that adoption of fist bumping instead of handshaking could reduce the spread of infectious organisms through communities.’
A study published in The Lancet Infectious Diseases in January found that one in six children in UK pediatric intensive care units, and one in ten babies in neonatal intensive care units, had developed hospital infections while being treated.
Dr Whitworth says using alternative greetings to handshakes may help reduce such infections, but others argue thorough hand washing, rather than a handshake ban, is the real solution.
... A 2010 study in the journal Infection Control and Hospital Epidemiology found only 40 per cent of healthcare professionals comply with hand hygiene rules in hospitals.
‘In a healthcare setting it would be best not to touch at all, but many health professionals think that shaking hands is fine as long as they practice good hand hygiene,’ said Dr Whitworth.
‘The problem is that many studies have shown that hand hygiene practices amongst healthcare professionals are by no means perfect.’
The fist bump is popular among black Americans – and in 2008 Barack Obama fist bumped his wife Michele when he got the Democratic presidential nomination – drawing the world’s attention to the greeting.
