I once heard Barack Obama speak [when he was still President] and he said in passing that his wife often tells him what his many faults are. I heard her say that her husband is not perfect and she wants him to know his imperfections, so she makes sure to tell him. [Quite forcefully, it seems].
It is really none of my business to get involved in their married life but if they would come to me I would tell Michelle in no uncertain terms to cut her husband some slack. He is black. His middle name is Hussein. He grew up fatherless. He had a really rough time. Yet, he climbed his way to the top with really hard work and became the President of the United States for two terms. No mean feat [regardless of whether one thinks he was a good President or not]. He clearly is a very gifted person with many good qualities. Yes, he also has faults. We all do. But even though he has been so successful in life, there is one thing [among others] that he needs more than all of the accolades, power and money that he has - the love and respect of his wife.
If she has to criticize, the 1-10 rule is a good one. For every one piece of gentle criticism, he receives ten pieces of praise, adoration and affection. She can also appreciate that because of his success she lives a priviliged life of which no woman would ever dream. So gratitude is in order for her benefactor.
Why am I telling you this? Because I am sure that now that they have extra time, they read my blog and this will enhance their shalom bayis.
But besides that - love your spouse. Encourage your spouse. Show him/her affection. They have received more than enough criticism in life. From you they need primarily positive reinforcement.
וידעת כי שלום אהליך!!!
