Rabbi Goldberg
Last week, Piers Morgan, whose show has over 4 million subscribers on Youtube, hosted virulent and unapologetic antisemite Candace Owens. Seething with hate for the Jewish state and the Jewish people, Candace opened by calling Israel a terrorist state and falsely accusing Israel of perpetrating a genocide and a holocaust by indiscriminately and intentionally murdering innocent children in Gaza. She described AIPAC as owning American policy and claimed that American soldiers have died and will continue to die for Israel.
“I would say as an American that if we're going to get behind a regime change it should be in Israel first… I think [that would be] the position of a lot of people who are waking up to the fact that Zionism has brought us nothing but grief in America. Can you name one positive thing that Zionists have contributed to America?”
At the conclusion of the interview, Piers closed by saying, “Candace, always good to have your views on Uncensored. You know that I appreciate you coming on. Thank you.”
Good to have your views?! Would it be good to have the views of a white supremacist, a member of ISIS, a blatant racist, or anyone else filled with hate for a particular people and lies about an entire nation?
Someone shared this clip with me and I only watched a few moments, but it was enough to make me want to jump through the screen, correct the lies, and set the record straight to both the antisemitic guest and the host who has sold his soul for views by platforming such heinous individuals. Hearing them even for such a brief period of time, and then catching that conclusion about it being “good” to have her views, made my blood pressure rise, my pulse quicken, and my stomach turn.
When I calmed down it quickly struck me – why in the world did I watch that? Why did I allow them to take up space in my head and heart? They certainly didn’t impact my beliefs or opinions an iota and obviously, being a passive spectator, I didn’t influence their views either. All that was accomplished was giving them another online “view” and causing me to get terribly upset. In retrospect, there couldn’t be a worse use of time.
Hearing the distortions, lies, hate, and fake news about Israel on podcasts, viral clips, social media and even some mainstream news programs is infuriating, maddening, and ultimately unproductive. If we care about our beloved people and our people’s homeland, the truth is that there are much better ways to use our time.
In her bestselling book, “The Let Them Theory,” Mel Robbins describes an almost universal phenomenon of wanting to control everyone and everything around us. We want to dictate what people say, believe, and do, and when we can’t, it frustrates us enormously often leaving us feeling stuck. The Let Them Theory teaches how to stop wasting energy on what you can't control and start focusing on what you can: YOU.
The theory is made up of two parts, Let Them and Let Me. When you find someone speaking, behaving, or believing things that bother you, frustrate you or disappoint you, say to yourself - Let Them. Let them think that, let them say that, let them do that. Let them. But the theory only works when followed by Let Me. Let Me focus on myself, my life, my happiness, what I can control, what I am supposed to do, who I am supposed to be.
Robbins writes: “When you say Let Them, you make a conscious decision not to allow other people’s behavior to bother you. When you say Let Me, you take responsibility for what YOU do next.” Let Them: Have their opinions, judge your choices, think what they want, talk behind your back. Let Me: Live authentically, focus on growth, find happiness. The brilliance of the theory is its simplicity and in the book she provides science-backed evidence for why it works.
Reflecting on the recent Israeli triumph over Iran and its success fighting on seven fronts over the last almost two years, one marvels at Israel’s capacity to practice Let Them and Let Me. Shutting out all the noise from around the world, Israel has focused on what it needs to do and the results are stunning. By saying “Let them,” let the haters make noise and “Let us,” let us eliminate our enemies, neutralize existential threats, and take a leadership role in providing security for the Middle East and the world, Israel has earned both the fear and respect of unlikely sources. We hope and pray that it comes to fruition but even the prospect and rumor of several countries that were previously hosts to Israel’s enemies now open to joining the Abraham Accords is welcome great news.
Rav Soloveitchik commented that slavery and subjugation come in two different forms – both the physical component and also a mentality. Physical slavery means that a person is literally under the control of somebody else who decides what he can and cannot do. The Jewish people who were under the rule and control of the Egyptians were released from this form of bondage at the time of Yetzias Mitzrayim. Nevertheless, they still were not freed from their slave mentality. They still felt inferior, subservient to the opinion and perspective of other people. They not only assumed that others viewed them as “grasshoppers,” as small and inferior, they allowed that projection to overwhelm them with fear, hold them back, and ultimately keep them from the Promised Land.
For 2,000 years we have been fighting to survive, subjugated by our host countries who orchestrated pogroms, attempted to exterminate us, or expelled us. Today, with endless gratitude to Hashem, though we remain in a state of galus, we are physically and religiously free. Yet, the long conditioned galus mentality breeds a feeling of inferiority, a concern for what others think of us. We seek validation for something as simple as a right to exist. The truth is, the opinion we should be most obsessed about is that of Hashem and the question of if we are fulfilling His vision and mission for us.
In the beracha with which we conclude the maggid section of the seder on Pesach, we express our hope to experience our final redemption, when we will praise Hashem al ge’ulaseinu v’al pedus nafsheinu – “for our redemption and the redemption of our souls.” Rav Soloveitchik explained that we anticipate the time when we will experience not only ge’ulaseinu, physical redemption, freedom from those who oppress and exert control over us, but also pedus nafsheinu – mental freedom, the freedom from our insecurities and our sense of inferiority, so that we will have the confidence to act as we are supposed to act without worrying how we will be perceived and what others are thinking and saying.
When Hashem summoned Moshe back to the top of Mount Sinai to receive the second set of tablets, He commanded, v’ish lo ya’aleh imach – “and no man shall ascend with you” (Shemos 34:3). The Degel Machaneh Efrayim, grandson of the Ba’al Shem Tov, comments that whenever we “ascend,” seeking to grow and lift ourselves higher, we should not bring anyone else with us; we should not be worrying about what other people are thinking or saying about us. What others think about us is their problem, not ours. We should live with the freedom to “climb the mountain,” to rise to the greatest heights we can, without worrying at all what people are thinking.
It is true that we rely on the help and support of others and therefore it is critical to engage in lobbying and advocacy with those in elected office. If we are in a position to have our voices heard, we must use those voices as much and as loudly as possible. But when it comes to watching, listening and reading the news, we must be judicious and mindful in distinguishing between staying informed and aware of the news, and becoming aggravated and infuriated by the lies.
Let them! Let them make noise and spew hate.
And let us! Let us climb higher and higher in our unity, our love, or faith, fighting for our people and spreading Hashem’s light.
