Rebuilding A Faltering Marriage

Translated from אקשיבה 

My husband and I have been married for 6 years with three children.

At the beginning of our relationship, there was a lot of love, understanding, and respect between us. Over the years, I feel like my husband has become a cold person who puts me down. I am naturally a very happy, thriving, and smiling person around people, but with him, he just shuts me down. He always has a sad face, yells a lot, and uses words that put me down. He doesn't compliment me, appreciate me, respect me, pamper me, say nice words, show affection or warmth. He's not interested in the relationship, he's always on his phone. Even when I tell him about the things that bother me, he doesn't take them to heart, saying that's just how he is. It really bothers me that even around people, you can see his reluctance and impatient way of speaking to me. I don't know anymore if there's any love left between us or if we're just together. I really miss the courtship, the pampering, the kind words, the appreciation, the encouragement.

I feel like a different person around him, and with other people, I'm truly myself – a happy, laughing, fun person. How can I change all of this? How can I save this relationship? Because for me, it's already one step away from the end.

 Answer:

You write that at the beginning of the relationship, there was a lot of love, understanding, and respect between you and your husband. But over the years, your husband has become a cold person who extinguishes you.

You write that by nature you are a very happy, flourishing, and also smiling person – around people, but your husband really dims you. Always with a sad face, a lot of yelling. Not flattering, not appreciative, not respectful, and not pampering.

You deserve light, love, and joy. You deserve good words, respectful words. You deserve to be a desirable, valued, and loved woman.

So what do we do now? When a dark cloud scatters murky rain over your shared space?

You write that you want to save the relationship. And that's very special to me. That statement shows maturity and an understanding that you have responsibility for this relationship.

In the following lines, I will present you with a direction for thot that may be a bit challenging to read (especially in a world where it's easy to advise breaking up a relationship). But you wrote that you want to save your relationship. So, if my words reach your heart, it might be a good direction to bring back the happiness that was lost in your marital space.

I believe so, you have the ability to change the situation.

And how do I know? Thanks to two reasons you detailed in your inquiry, and an additional reason rooted in what I know about romantic relationships.

And I'll begin.

The first reason I believe you have the ability to change the situation is because you were in love in the past. In other words, in your system, in the respiratory system that connects you, there is a foundation of love, understanding, and respect. Over time, your connection pipe has filled with bad (and even toxic) substances, but the underlying infrastructure itself has the capacity for both of you to maintain a loving and respectful connection. Although this ability has been somewhat shaken and covered in sand, dust, and perhaps even a little rust. But it exists, and with the right work, it will hopefully function again.

The second reason I wholeheartedly believe you have the ability to change the situation is because when you write next to other people, you are a happy, laughing, and fun person. In other words, your personal system has wonderful energies that have the power to heal relationships.

And the third reason I believe you have the ability to heal your relationship is because of what I know and believe about relationships in general, and about coupledom in particular, which I will elaborate on in the following lines.

A relationship between two people is a dynamic.

Dynamics is the relationship between two objects in motion. You both create and react within the relationship.

Now, from what you're describing, you're in a loop. A negative and unenjoyable loop.

He turns off – and you turn off.

He doesn't appreciate you – and you're suffering.

You share what bothers you – and he ignores it.

But you're asking to "save the relationship." In other words, you want to stop this negative dynamic.

And you can.

A relationship between two people, and even more so in a partnership, and especially in a partnership built on love, understanding, and respect, is just like the equation x+y=z.

If one of the factors, for example, x, changes, regardless of whether y remains constant, the result will necessarily change.

If you get out of this loop, the couple's space will begin to heal.

I'll share with you that since I was exposed to this approach, which believes in our ability to change relationships, I decided to try and apply it on a few occasions, and I couldn't believe the results that changed.

I replaced contempt with appreciation, criticism with a kind eye, and alienation with friendship, and the relationship miraculously changed.

Right. A strained relationship between a man and a woman calls for deep work. It's not easy and it won't happen overnight, but yes, we have the ability to change.

One partner within a relationship (provided there is no physical violence, infidelity, or addiction, which are extreme situations requiring significant change from the other side) has the real ability to change the marital space. As we said, when one factor in the equation changes, the result changes.

So what do we actually do?

The primary element to bring back warmth and love to a relationship is "do it yourself first." You write that you really miss being pampered, appreciated, and encouraged. You're currently expecting him to give. You tried and said it didn't work. It's time to start filling yourself up.

When we enter the couple's space emotionally empty, especially during a shaky stage of the relationship, nothing good can grow.

Want your relationship to start flourishing?

Start taking care of yourself. Go out with friends, buy yourself some clothes, and most importantly, go buy yourself a beautiful notebook that makes you happy and start writing down every day points of light that you love about yourself on a physical level, on a character level (I am creative, I have a good heart, I am intelligent), and on a behavioral level (I put the children to bed peacefully, I baked a wonderful cake, I excelled at work).

 Instead of focusing on the absence and the lack, start taking care of yourself to fill that void.

Make sure to buy a beautiful notebook that will make you happy, and every day wash your heart with kind words about yourself.

So for a whole month. Without cutting corners.

After two weeks of filling a notebook full of points of light about you, continue to make sure to fill in the points of light that are in you, but at the same time, go buy another beautiful and decorated notebook, and in it, write down points of light and good that you find in your husband. What do you still love about him? What did he do today that made you feel good? What do you appreciate about him? Once you've trained your eye to look at yourself positively, you'll start looking at it with a good and positive eye. It's not what he *doesn't* give, but what he *does* give.

And here's the challenge: for a whole month, make sure you do these two tasks every single day. After personal and internal strengthening (physical treats that make you feel good, and kind words you say to yourself every single day), and a positive outlook on your man (kind words you write about him), comes the third stage:

Start sharing with him the good things you see in him. In the language of couple's work, we call the section of good words you say to him "models," from the word "medals."

Start saying out loud what you've been writing down for yourself in your notebook for a month. Good points that you see in him and appreciate.

For a month, I was truly in a state of 'modeling': I made sure the medals were genuine, that they stemmed from inner belief (fake and external medals have no effect).

What I'm offering you here today is not easy work. But unfortunately, getting divorced (especially with children) or living in such great pain when the relationship is faltering and empty is much more difficult.

I'm offering you a path here that requires investment and seriousness, but if you dedicate yourself to it and persevere, I believe good things will begin to emerge and appear in your home.

Forgiving Oneself And More

 כשאדם שב בתשובה מאהבה, צריך הוא לסלח לעצמו את כל עונותיו, כמו שצריך לפייס את חבירו על עבירות שבין אדם לחבירו כדי להשיג סליחתו. 

When a person repents out of love, he must forgive himself all of his sins, just as one must appease one’s fellow regarding offenses between one person and another in order to attain his forgiveness. 

ואחר שבעיני עצמו יהיה מכופר ונקי מחטא, יתעורר עליו הקודש של חלק גבוה, שיתהפכו כל עונותיו לזכיות. 

And after he will be exonerated and clean of transgression in his own eyes, the holiness from a supernal portion will be aroused upon him, so that all of his sins will be transformed to merits. 

א׳:תער״ב

כל מה שיתברר יותר לאדם, שהתורה ורוחניותה העליונה היא סבתה העליונה וכלי אומנתה של ההויה כולה, בכל רוחב מושגה של מלה זו, של כל הגשמיות וכל הרוחניות שבעולמים, אז יתעלה הרעיון עד כדי להבין ולחוש, שכל מחשבת קודש, וכל דיבור קדוש הוא נאדר ואמיץ בחילו הרבה יותר מכל המציאות כולה, 

The clearer it will grow to a person that the Torah with its supernal spirituality is the supernal cause and instrument of all existence—in the entire breadth of the meaning of this word “existence”—of all the physicality and all the spirituality in the worlds, the more will his thought rise, until he will understand and sense that every holy thought and every holy word is much more exalted and firm in its might than all existence. 

ולא יוכל לעכב את גודל השיגוב והשלטון של דיבורי התורה והתפלה ומחשבותיהם לא כל ציור של העולם המוחשי, גבוליו והכרחיו, לא איתניות הטבע ומהלכיו, ולא כל רעיון הגיוני, מוגבל ומתואר על פי דרכי השכל והחיפוש שבמחשבות לבב האדם. 

Then not all the images of the sensory world, of its borders and its demands, the vigor of nature and its processes, and any logical idea, finite and envisioned in keeping with the ways of the intellect and the search in the thoughts of the heart of a human being, will be able to hinder the greatness of the loftiness and dominion of the words of Torah and prayer and their attendant thoughts. 

כי אור הקודש, הנעלה מכלם, מושל הוא על כלם, מנהיגם ומכריעם, ומאיר את הכל באורו. פתח דבריך יאיר. 

That is because a holy light higher than them all governs them all, manages them and determines them, and illuminates everything with its light. “The commencement of your words enlightens” (Psalms 119:120). 

א׳:תער״ג

עיקר העבודה הולכת ומתבררת לאדם, כל מה שידע שאור החיים האלהיים העליונים מחיה את כל עניני הרוחניות שלו, בשכל וברצון, ברגש ובנטיה, בתכונה ובמדה, כשם שהוא מחיה את הכל בהויה ובישות. 

The essence of serving God grows clearer to a person the more he knows that the light of Divine, supernal life provides the life-force for all of his spiritual affairs—in intellect and in will, in feeling and in disposition, in character and in attribute—just as it provides the life-force for everything in existence and in being. 

ואז יוטבע בו טבע של דבקות אלהית קבועה, שתלך ותשתלם בכל עז תכסיסיה, לפי גדלות ההשגה, לפי רוב החכמה הרוחנית, ולפי התעלות המדות והמעשים, ולפי עליית הרצון וזיכוך הנשמה בהכשרה להסתכל בעליית העולמים כולם בהדר זיו רוחניותם. 

Then the nature of permanent clinging to Divinity will be impressed into him, and that clinging will be made whole in the entire might of its activities corresponding to the size of his insight, corresponding to the amount of his spiritual wisdom, corresponding to the elevation of his traits and his deeds, corresponding to the rising of his will and the purification of his soul in preparation to see the ascent of all worlds in the glorious radiance of their spirituality. 

ויתאמץ יותר טבע קודש זה, כל מה שיתהפך הרע, העצמי והעולמי, לטוב, והחושך לאור, לא רק בכללות, אלא גם בפרטיות, על ידי הופעת קודש בכל יום תמיד. 

And this holy nature will grow stronger the more that evil—individual and universal—will be transformed to good, and darkness to light—not only overall but in detail, as a result of a constant manifestation of holiness every day. 

עי' קבלת הראי"ה עמ' 564-565

א׳:תער״ד

הרע מצטער הוא בהגדלת הטוב, וצדדי הרע שבנפש ושבעולם מצטמקים ורע להם בזה שגאות ד' ואור הקודש מתרחב ומתפשט בהם. 

Evil is pained upon the growth of the good. And aspects of evil in the soul and in the world shrivel and suffer because the pride of Hashem and the light of holiness expand and spread in the individual and in the world. 

ומזה האדם מרגיש צער בתחילת גשתו לעבודה עליונה, אבל צריך אז להתרומם עד לידי מדה זו של גבורות קדושות. וגדולת הנקמה שנתנה בין שתי אותיות כמו דעה, 

Due to that, a person feels pain when he begins his approach to engaging in supernal service. But he must then rise until he reaches this trait of holy severity and the greatness of vengeance—which is placed between two Divine Names, just as knowledge is (Berachot 33a). 

והרצון של ביעור הרע והתמעטותו, הולך ומשתלם ובא למגמתו ע"י צערו, שהיא תחילת נפילתו, ואז כל מה שהיסוד הרע שבנפש יוסיף צער, יוסיף הטוב שבו - שהוא העצמיות הקיימת העיקרית - עונג ונחת. 

And the will to burn away evil and diminish it grows more complete and reaches its goal by means of evil’s pain, which is the beginning of its fall. Then, the more that the evil element in the soul increases its pain, the more that the good in the person—and that good is his principal existent essence—increases its delight and comfort. 

ודוגמת הפעולה הזאת שבנפש יעשה בעולם כולו, ומעין אורו של משיח מתנוצץ אז. 

And a reflection of this activity in the soul will occur in the entire world, and then a likeness of the light of the messiah will shine. 

ועלו מושיעים בהר ציון לשפוט את הר עשו והיתה לד' המלוכה. 

“Saviors will ascend Mt. Zion to judge the mountain of Esau, and Hashem will have the sovereignty” (Obadiah 1:21). 

א׳:תער״ה

לפעמים צריכים להכיר את הפעולה הרוחנית של העבודה הפנימית ואור התורה והתפלה בכללה בפנימיות הנפש, וממנה יוצא האור לעולם כולו, 

Sometimes, we must recognize the spiritual effect of our inner work and the light of the Torah and prayer overall on the interiority of our soul. And from our soul, the light emerges to the entire world. 

ולפעמים צריכים לעמוד במעמד כזה, שאין הנפש כי אם מדה מודדת, כמדת קרקע וכלים, וההופעות הולכות ומאירות לעולם כולו, וסוף הכבוד לבוא גם כן להופעת הנפש היחידה, שממנה נבע אור זה. 

And sometimes we must stand in such a way that our soul is only a measuring device, like that which measures land and vessels, and the spiritual manifestations shine upon the entire world. And in the end, honor will come as well to the manifestation of our individual soul, from which this light has welled. 

מדה זו האחרונה משמשת לפעמים מצד גדלות ולפעמים, מצד קטנות, אי אפשר לתפוס המדה האמצעית, וצריכים להחזיק דוקא בגדלות עליונה, להופיע אור בעולמים כולם. כי אשב בחשך ד' אור לי. 

This latter trait operates at times from the aspect of our state of greatness, and at times from the aspect of our state of smallness. It is impossible to hold the middle measure, and we must grasp specifically the supernal greatness, so that it will manifest light in all the worlds. “When I sit in darkness, Hashem is my light” (Micah 7:8).

Declarations: The Haters' and Mine

In 1975, when I was fourteen, my older (and much wiser) cousin, Jill had been carrying signs to school which read: Zionism Is NOT Racism. I’m sad to say, I had no real knowledge of what her signs meant. I had no idea that the Soviet Union—through what would become both a successful and tragic effort—was working to defame Israel in order to regain influence in the Middle East and parts of Africa, influence it had lost after Israel’s stunning victory in the Six-Day War, when Israel suddenly became a strategic asset to the United States.

On November 10, 1975, the United Nations General Assembly passed Resolution 3379, declaring that “Zionism is a form of racism and racial discrimination.” The vote passed by a wide margin: 72 in favor, 35 against, and 32 abstentions. That resolution became—officially—the policy of the United Nations. It was not based on truth, morality, or history. It was based on fear, expediency, and anti-Jewish bias.

Many countries, already anti-Israel and desperate for Soviet support or Soviet-aligned resources and markets, were willing to trade away the safety and dignity of the Jewish people for political gain. Several of these nations had oppressive governments, collapsing economies, rampant corruption, and they followed the Soviet lead like a dog to its master.

That UN declaration—Zionism equated with racism—remained on the books for sixteen years, until December 16, 1991, when the United Nations revoked it through Resolution 46/86, this time with 111 voting for revocation, 25 against, and 13 abstaining. It took sixteen years to undo what should never have been etched into the moral architecture of the world. Its revocation, however, did not undo the harm it caused. The Soviet Union spent vast resources—estimated in the hundreds of millions, and likely more—promoting this campaign across Africa, the Middle East, Latin America, and Western intellectual circles. And those who still repeat these canards should know that they are echoing a lie manufactured for them, not by them.

Much of what you’re now seeing on our campuses, in the streets, in front of synagogues and places of Jewish learning—from actors, musicians, academics, and polemicists—the violence, the vitriol, the attempts to demoralize Jews and those who support Zionism, a four-thousand-year-old longing of our people to return to our homeland—can be traced, at least in part, to that UN declaration. Its stain not only endures, it has spread.

I have a declaration of my own.

I declare—to myself first, and to anyone listening—that I will not, under any circumstances, surrender my dignity as a Jew. I will not bow to threats, to lies, to ideological fashions, nor to propaganda insisting that Jewish survival, sovereignty, or identity is immoral. This anti-Jewish ideology was propagated by the Church, by Czarist Russia, by Nazi Germany, by European philosophers, and later by Soviet commissars—old ideas now eagerly lapped up and modernized by the academy and by politicians on the left, who, eager to burnish their oppressor-versus-oppressed bona fides, employ pseudo-intellectual terms such as colonialist, imperialist, genocidist, eco-cidist, pink-washer, or ethno-state racist.

And on the right, the very same poison appears, only in different rhetorical clothing—accusations of “globalists,” “dual-loyalists,” shadow financiers, cultural subverters, or those supposedly pulling strings behind the scenes. Different vocabulary, same ancient hatred.

History has been littered with attempts to degrade Jews, to delegitimize our existence.

Voltaire, an Enlightenment era philosopher celebrated to this day, wrote menacingly:

“The Jews are an ignorant and barbarous people, who have long united the most abominable greed with the most detestable superstition and the most invincible hatred for the peoples who tolerate and enrich them.”

(Voltaire, Dictionnaire Philosophique)

This from a man who argued for tolerance—except when speaking of us.

In the forged Czarist antisemitic tract The Protocols of the Elders of Zion, its anonymous fabricators wrote as if Jews had said this:

“We shall destroy the money markets… and we shall become lords over all the earth.”

That sentence was never written by Jews.

It was written about Jews—by those seeking to justify persecution, expulsions, and massacres.

The lie of global domination was repeated again by Hitler, who wrote:

“The personification of the devil as the symbol of all evil assumes the living shape of the Jew.”

(Adolf Hitler, Mein Kampf)

These words became the pretext for ghettos, deportations, gas chambers, and the murder of six-millions of my people. They did not describe reality—they manifested terror.

And yet—despite the fame of these voices,

despite the intellectual weight society grants them—

their conclusions remain vile, false, utterly rejectable.

I stand in public disagreement with the entire historical record of hate.

And today, the voices are different,

but the claim is familiar.

Mahmoud Abbas, leader of the so-called “less militant” PLO, speaking about Jewish historical connection, said publicly:

“Israel has no historical connection to this land.”

That is not analysis.

It is historical erasure.

A falsehood so obvious that it is taken as fact by people who are either profoundly ignorant, or willfully intent on separating the Jewish people from our ancestral homeland.

At rallies in the United States and Europe within the last two years, protesters have shouted:

“There is only one solution—Intifada revolution.”

and

“From the river to the sea, Palestine will be free.”

Whatever defenders claim, these have become euphemisms for eliminating Jewish sovereignty—and in some cases, the Jewish people altogether.

I reject these modern distortions just as I reject the older ones.

I’ve been asked why I don’t offer a more “balanced” account of Israel’s treatment of Palestinians—as if I imagine everything Israel has ever done is perfect. I don’t. It’s war; it’s tragic; it’s bloody; there is human loss no one should minimize.

But here is my answer:

Criticism of Israel has become so one-sided, so ubiquitous, and so relentlessly framed as unquestioned moral truth, that I see no need to repeat what is already shouted everywhere else. My aim here is not to restate the already dominant critique, but to speak into the silence surrounding Jewish history, and the right of Jews to sovereignty, safety, and continuity.

My own life bears witness.

When my wife and I traveled in 1988 through the Soviet Caucasus, the practice of Judaism was illegal. Zionism was treason. People whispered their identity, fearful of neighbors, employers, police. Everywhere I went, there were Jews whose eyes lit up when I gave them tefillin, mezuzot, or prayer books.

These objects were contraband.

Our identity was contraband.

Our dignity was contraband.

Nothing in me has changed since then.

But something has crystallized.

Since October 7, in the face of a world eager to invert victim and perpetrator, I stand stronger.

Not to persuade the world—

but to strengthen my own people.

Not to convince detractors—

but to stand before my children and grandchildren,

knowing that I did not remain silent.

Therefore:

I will not tire.

I will not weaken.

I will not surrender the beauty, genius, stubborn survival, moral inheritance, and sacred responsibility Judaism confers.

I do not exist because the world tolerates me.

I exist because God helped my people miraculously survive every attempt to erase us.

And I stand gratefully, defiantly, lovingly,

inside that lineage.

Peter Himmelman

Candace Owens Honors Charlie Kirk’s Legacy By Doing Everything In Her Power To Destroy It

 U.S. — Often-incoherent podcaster, private investigator, conspiracy theorist and all around loony Candace Owens fired back at Erika Kirk as the widow finally addressed the conspiracy theories surrounding Charlie Kirk’s death and Turning Point USA, claiming the widow “missed the mark” and accused her of using “the exact same emotional strategy deployed by BLM.”

“It is a positively ABSURD notion that you cannot critique a 150 million dollar organization because the CEO says they are like a family, and are grieving,” Owens railed on X.

“It is the exact same emotional strategy deployed by BLM in the wake of George Floyd’s death, when I called out their shady financial dealings. I mean, dis is white folks using black people methods, man,” she said as she unwittingly slipped into "bruthu jargon".

Erika Kirk has been publicly pushing back for the first time on rampant conspiracy theories flying around the internet from conservative activists about her husband’s assassination — among them Owens, once a close friend of Charlie’s. Owen's explained that their friendship had to end because Charlie is dead and she can't be friends with people who you text but won't text you back.

In the weeks after Kirk was murdered, Owens suggested Kirk was “betrayed,” accused the federal government of lying about the investigation, and said that Israel may have been involved in Kirk’s death. This is because in Owens' narrative - Israel is connected to every bad thing that happens.

Owens later attacked Erika on her podcast for not addressing the rumors publicly as the new CEO of the company, but as a mourning widow.

“It completely missed the mark for me. I am sorry. It just has. But the good news is that she is now un-murking the water in terms of her intentions with this massive political organization,” Owens said.

Owens shared a clip of Erika Kirk saying that she understands the conspiracy theories about her husband stem from people wanting to find an answer to “something that happened that was so evil.”

Kirk said she wants justice but doesn’t have time to address the theories. She added that she’s speaking out because she’s reached a “breaking point” because they’ve started to involve her immediate family or the family she’s found at TPUSA.

“This is righteous anger because this is not OK, this is not healthy. This is a mind virus,” she said.

Owens said Kirk’s comments are why “Turning Point USA looks so suspicious,” adding at one point: “You don’t just get to be widowed into chairman and CEO.”  

Candace Owens has further vowed to honor Charlie Kirk's legacy by doing everything in her power to destroy it.

Owens has pledged, for Charlie's sake, to stop at absolutely nothing to burn down the movement he built, as well as bring pain and harm to every person Charlie ever loved.

"All of my efforts to dismantle Charlie's organization and hurt the people he cared for, that's all for him," said Owens. "As Charlie's family and friends receive death threat after death threat because of me, I want everyone to know I'm doing it for Charlie. His legacy was one of deep love for Jesus [ימח שמו!], his family, friends, and Turning Point. Which is why I am venomously slandering his family and friends, and will do everything I can to burn Turning Point to the ground. This will not only bring down this corrupt organization but will continue to make me relevant and millions of people will listen to my rantings, thus ensuring that I will be able to afford to send my children to college."

Owens also sparked backlash after alleging that Charlie Kirk was “in love” with another woman before he married Erika Kirk.

During the Tuesday, December 2 episode of Candace, the 36-year-old host shared private text messages between her and Kirk, in which he asked her for outfit advice.

“I’m going to miss Charlie going on dates and the young girls that he liked and me always being the wing woman,” she explained. “One of my favorite text messages between me and Charlie [was] when he was getting ready to go on a date.”

"He didn’t date many people and he was just kind of in love with this girl,” Owens continued, as a text message between the two showing Kirk asking whether he should change out of a Turning Point USA shirt he was wearing flashed on the screen.

“It’s so sweet,” Owens added.

However, posting the exchange publicly didn’t sit well with Kirk supporters, who saw it as disrespectful to Erika, whom Charlie married in May 2021. The couple shared two children.

She also published screenshots of private messages she said were from Charlie Kirk that show him expressing frustration about losing a $2 million Jewish donor and threatening to “leave” the pro‑Israel cause; Turning Point USA figures and multiple outlets subsequently acknowledged the messages as genuine while disputing their context

According to grief counselors, one of the primary ways people generally honor a deceased man is by trying to destroy everything he stood for. "Publishing the deceased man's personal text messages, calling for the demolition of his company, and conducting a targeted harassment campaign against his friends and family -- these are deep and profound ways humans express their grief," explained Dr. Julia McIntosh. "Viciously attacking the late man's widow and inventing insane conspiracy theories on your massive YouTube channel are clear indicators Owens loved and cared for Kirk deeply."

"It really brings a tear to my eye," she added, choking up.

At publishing time, Owens had committed to double down on her efforts to honor the deceased by uncovering the French-Israeli-Mossad-Netanyahu Egyptian Bee cult joint operation with the U.S. military and Turning Point USA and Erika Kirk to assassinate Kirk using an exploding lapel mic remotely operated by maroon shirt-wearing operatives hidden in a labyrinthine complex of Jewish tunnels.

The Divine and the Spirit of Israel

Here and here.

 נצוצי אורות מעמ' קמ"ג, לתשובת השנה עמ' רע"ד, אורות המבואר אורות התחיה פרק י"ג ושיחות הרצי"ה מעמ' 64 והלאה, וכולי האי ואולי. 

הרצון הכללי, של הרוחניות שבאומה, יש לו מדתו. ולמעלה ממנה הוא הרצון של התכן האלהי, לפי השגתה וחייה הפנימיים והחיצוניים. 

The overall will of the spirituality of the nation of Israel has its measure. Higher than it is the will of Divine content in the nation of Israel, which corresponds to the nation’s comprehension and its inner and outer life. 

כל זמן שהתוכן הרוחני של האומה הוא מלא וגדול, מתגדל ממילא, במידה יותר עליונה, האור של התוכן האלהי שבהשגתה, והמבוקש של מציאותה מצויר בגונים בהירים ; ולמעלה מזה מתגלה בגונים בהירים המבוקש של כל ההויה כולה, שזהו רז דעת עליון. 

As long as the nation’s spiritual content is full and great, the light of the Divine content in what the nation comprehends grows in a higher measure, and the nation envisions that which its existence seeks in bright hues. Higher than that, that which is sought by all existence, which is the secret of the supernal knowledge, is revealed in bright hues. 

כשירדה האומה בגלות המרה, נחשכה נשמתה, והשגת מבוקשה הפנימי של מציאותה ומאויי חייה נתקטנה, עד שאינה מוצאה כלל את נתיבותיה, ומכל מקום יש בקרבה איזו השגה חלושה, של רשימת אורה, שממנה זורח אור כה לפי הערך לצדיקים וחכמים דורשי ד' בכל לבבם גם במחשכים, וכי אשב בחושך ד' אור לי. 

When the nation descended into the bitter exile, its soul was darkened and the comprehension resulting from the inner search of its existence and of the desires of its life shrank, until the nation cannot at all find its paths. Nevertheless, the nation has within itself some weak comprehension of an impression of light from which dim light shines on some level to righteous people and wise people who seek Hashem in their hearts, even in the darkness. “When I sit in darkness, Hashem is my light” (Micah 7:8). 

אבל הענין האלהי והמגמה העולמית, אם היתה עומדת במקומה ובמדרגתה הראשונה, לא יכלו להתחבר אז עם מגמתה העצמית, ואז היו חייה בגלות נוטלים להם דרך חול, באין פנות להתקשר עם המגמה האלהית של צור כל העולמים, צדיק בכל הדורות. 

As for the Divine matter and the universal goal, if it would have stood in its original place and level, it would not at all have been able to bind with the nation’s essential goal. And then the nation’s life in exile would have taken a secular way for itself, without turning to connect with the Divine purpose of the Rock of all the worlds, the Righteous One in all the generations. 

מה עשה הקדוש-ברוך-הוא? 

What did the Holy One, blessed be He, do? 

כשם שנתמעט האור הזורח בה לגבי תכונתה הפנימית, כן ירד האור האלהי הכללי בעולם, והשגוב של הענין האלהי שהוא אור חי העולמים איננו מבהיק כי אם באור קלוש כזה, שהוא יכול להתאחד עם האור הזורח בנשמתן של ישראל, גם אחרי הירידה שגרמה הנפילה הגדולה שנפלה עטרת תפארת ישראל משמים ארץ. 

Just as the shining light in the nation was diminished in relation to its inner content, so did the Divine, overall light descend in the world, and the elevation of the Divine matter, which is the light of the Life of worlds, only flashes with such a weak light that it can unite with the light shining in the soul of Israel even after the descent that has plunged the diadem of the beauty of Israel from heaven to earth. 

ובהיות הענין האלהי הכללי בתור אור העולם עומד במעמד כזה שוב הענינים הולכים ומתחברים, והמגמה של מציאות האומה ברוח קדשה הפנימי והמגמה הכללית האלהית הגדולה של ההויה כולה יכולות להתאחד כאחד, וממילא הן מתחברות ביחד בעצמן, ובנשמותהן של ישראל בפרט ובנשמת כללות האומה בכלל, והן מוכנות יחד לעלות בישועת גוי ואלוהיו, אני והו הושיעה נא. 

And since the overall Divine matter in the role of the light of the world stands in such a position, matters again bind together, and the purpose of the existence of the nation in the spirit of its inner holiness and the great, overall, Divine purpose of all existence can unite as one. They bind together in themselves, and in the individual souls of Israel in particular and in the soul of the totality of the nation overall, and they are prepared together to rise with the salvation of the nation and its Godliness. “I and He, Save Us Now” (kabbalistic phrase from the siddur). 

בפרק זה הרב מבאר שישנו קשר בין הרמה הרוחנית שבאומה הישראלית, לרמה של ההופעה האלוהית בהוויה בכללותה. כנסת ישראל נמשלה ללבנה המקבלת את האור של החמה ומזריחה אותו לעולם – האור של ההופעה האלוהית נקלט בכנסת ישראל ומוזרח ממנה אל שאר המציאות. אמנם, חלק מהאור מוזרח באופן ישיר אל שאר המציאות, אך חלקו העיקרי מופיע דווקא על ידי כנסת ישראל.

שני סוגים של רצון ישנם. האחד: הָרָצוֹן הַכְּלָלִי, שֶׁל הָרוּחָנִיּוּת הַכְּלָלִית שֶׁבָּאֻמָּה, יֵשׁ לוֹ מִדָּתוֹ. הרצון הוא ביטוי לעוצמה הרוחנית. לאדם בריא בגופו ונפשו יש רצון גדול, ואילו החולה רוצה רק שלא לסבול. במצב של חולי מתקטנות השאיפות. ישנה עוצמה רוחנית האופיינית לאומה הישראלית, לפי מצבה; יש מצבים של גדולה, בהם השאיפות גבוהות וממילא העוצמה הרוחנית גדולה, ויש מצבים של קטנות, כמו בגלות.

בנוסף לכך יש עוד סוג של רצון, שקיים בהוויה בכללותה – וּלְמַעְלָה מִמֶּנָּה הוּא הָרָצוֹן שֶׁל הַתֹּכֶן הָאֱלוֹהִי, שגם הופעתו היא לְפִי הַשָּׂגָתָהּ של האומה וְחַיֶּיהָ הַפְּנִימִיִּים – הדברים הרוחניים, שיש להם קשר יותר עמוק למושגים שאנו קוראים 'דתיים', וְהַחִיצוֹנִיִּים – אותם הדברים שהם תנאֵי הקיום של האדם – ההישגים המדעיים, החברתיים, הכלכליים וכדומה.

שני רצונות אלה צריכים להיות מתואמים. כשישראל בגדולתם, גם הרוחניות העולמית יכולה וצריכה להיות בגדולתה, וכאשר ישראל יורדים ומתקטנים בעוצמת הרוחניות שלהם בגלות, מתקטנת גם העוצמה הרוחנית של השאיפה הכללית בהוויה: כָּל זְמַן שֶׁהַתֹּכֶן הָרוּחָנִי שֶׁל הָאֻמָּה הוּא מָלֵא וְגָדוֹל, כשהאומה יושבת באדמתה ויש לה עוצמה, ואז גם התוכן הרוחני שלה מלא וגדול, מִתְגַּדֵּל מִמֵּילָא, בְּמִדָּה יוֹתֵר עֶלְיוֹנָה, הָאוֹר שֶׁל הַתֹּכֶן הָאֱלוֹהִי שֶׁבְּהַשָּׂגָתָהּ, החזון הרוחני, הדתי, וְהַמְבֻקָּשׁ שֶׁל מְצִיאוּתָהּ מְצֻיָּר בָּהּ בִּגְוָנִים בְּהִירִים; האומה יודעת יותר טוב מה היא רוצה מבחינה רוחנית, הזהות והחזון יותר ברורים. עד ימי הבית השני כשעם ישראל עוד ישב בארצו, כאשר עוד היו נביאים, נבואותיהם היו מופלאות ונהדרות. ואילו החכמים, שקיבלו את תפקיד הנביאים אחר שפסקה הנבואה מעם ישראל, לא הצליחו להעמיד חזון כזה.

וּלְמַעְלָה מִזֶּה מִתְגַּלֶּה בִּגְוָנִים בְּהִירִים הַמְבֻקָּשׁ שֶׁל כָּל הַהֲוָיָה כֻּלָּהּ, שֶׁזֶּהוּ רַז דַּעַת עֶלְיוֹן. כאשר התוכן הרוחני באומה הוא גדול, גם בהוויה כולה מתגדל המבוקש, הרצון – העוצמה הרוחנית; בלעם הרשע מעיד על עצמו שהוא "יֹדֵעַ דַּעַת עֶלְיוֹן" (במדבר כד, טז). לרמת השגה כזו זכה להגיע בגלל שבאותה תקופה מעמדו הרוחני של עם ישראל היה נשגב – אחרי יציאת מצרים שנעשתה בניסים כבירים, ניתנה תורה לישראל, ירד מן מדי יום ואת המסע במדבר ליוו עמוד אש וענן. במצב רוחני כזה נשגב – אפילו בלעם, אדם שפל מבחינה מוסרית שאפילו להבין את אתונו לא הצליח, כדברי חז"ל (סנהדרין קה, ב) – אפילו הוא מגיע להשגות רוחניות גבוהות. באותה תקופה, כאשר ההשגות הרוחניות של עם ישראל היו נשגבות, האלילות גם היא הייתה עוצמתית ביותר. עובדי עבודה זרה כאילו חיו יחד עם האלים, מבחינת החוויות הרוחניות שהיו להם. עם כל ההגשמה הפרימיטיבית שבדבר, הנחיתות המוסרית והפילוסופית של ציור כזה, הוא נבע מתחושה חזקה שיש קרבה בין השמים והארץ, הרוח והחומר. הרב אומר שזה רַז, מפני שלא מובן כיצד הגויים מגיעים לכאלה חוויות רוחניות עוצמתיות כאשר רמתם המוסרית כה נחותה.

בהתאם לכך ניתן לראות שכאשר פוסקת הנבואה מעם ישראל, פוסקת גם הרוחניות המיסטית בעולם, המאגיה והאלילות מצטמצמות מאוד.[182] אחרוני הנביאים היו בין אנשי כנסת הגדולה, ומאז – "חכם עדיף מנביא" (בבא בתרא יב, א), מתפתח נתיב חדש ברוחניות. אמנם הוא היה קיים גם קודם לכן, אבל אז הנבואה תפסה את המקום המרכזי. ההלכה, המוסר והאגדה, הפילוסופיה וחכמת הסוד מתרחבות ומתעמקות בישראל פי כמה ממה שהיה קודם. באותו זמן של סיום תקופה הנבואה והמעבר לחכמה, תחילת ביסוסה של תורה שבעל-פה, גם באומות העולם יש מעבר מובהק מן הכושר הרוחני המיסטי, האלילי, לפן של החכמה: בסין חי אז קונפוציוס,[183] מגדולי הפילוסופים של סין, ובמקביל לו גם לָאוֹ-דְזֶה,[184] מייסד הדאואיזם, דרך חיים שמקובלת על רבים בסין עד היום; ואז גם מגיעה לשיא הפילוסופיה הקדם-סוקרטית ביוון – מופיעים סוקרטס,[186] אפלטון[187] תלמידו המסור, ותלמידו של אפלטון – אריסטו.[188] התרבות האנושית עוברת לשלב חדש, ההולך ומתעצם במקביל להתעצמות התורה שבעל-פה, החכמה שבישראל בימי בית שני. כל זה מתרחש באותן כמה מאות שנים.[189]

כְּשֶׁיָּרְדָה הָאֻמָּה בַּגָּלוּת הַמָּרָה, נֶחְשְׁכָה נִשְׁמָתָהּ, "נֵר ה' נִשְׁמַת אָדָם" (משלי כ, כז) הנשמה מאירה את האדם מתוכו, היא האידאה העליונה שלו, הנקודה שבה גנוז הפוטנציאל שלו. כאשר האדם במצב רוחני גבוה, הוא מחובר לנשמתו ומוצא בה את הכישורים שלו.[190] אך אם נחשכת הנשמה האדם לא מכיר את עצמו, הוא לא פועל על פי טבעו אלא באופן בסיסי המוכתב על ידי ההכרח שבחיים, ברמת ההישרדות. זהו המצב בגלות. וְהַשָּׂגַת מְבֻקָּשָׁהּ הַפְּנִימִי שֶׁל מְצִיאוּתָהּ וּמַאֲוַיֵּי חַיֶּיהָ נִתְקַטְּנָה, עַד שֶׁאֵינָהּ מוֹצְאָה כְּלָל אֶת נְתִיבוֹתֶיהָ, השאיפה העיקרית בגלות הייתה רק להתקיים, לא להיאבד מבחינת רוחנית ופיזית. לכן האומה לא מוצאת את הנתיבות, הדרכים להתקדם.[191]

וּמִכָּל מָקוֹם יֵשׁ בְּקִרְבָּהּ אֵיזוֹ הַשָּׂגָה חֲלוּשָׁה, שֶׁל רְשִׁימַת אוֹרָה, בתוך חשכת הגלות נותר רק רושם של אור. המונח 'רשימו' בקבלת האר"י מתאר את שארית האור הקלוש שנותרה אחרי תהליך הצמצום של אור אינסוף שמילא הכל קודם בריאת העולם. זה לא הדבר עצמו, רק מזכיר את המקור. בית כנסת נקרא 'מקדש מעט' כי הוא המעט שנשאר מהמקדש. הקהילה היא רושם קטן מהאומה, ובית דין של תלמידי חכמים הוא בגדר שליח של בית הדין שבו היו דיינים סמוכים (עי' גיטין פח, ב). שֶׁמִּמֶּנָּה זוֹרֵחַ אוֹר כֵּהֶה לְפִי הָעֵרֶךְ לְצַדִּיקִים וַחֲכָמִים דּוֹרְשֵׁי ד' בְּכָל לְבָבָם גַּם בְּמַחֲשַׁכִּים, על המציאות הגלותית בה נתהווה התלמוד הבבלי נאמר "בְּמַחֲשַׁכִּים הוֹשִׁיבַנִי כְּמֵתֵי עוֹלָם" (איכה ג, ו; סנהדרין כד, א), אולם גם בחושך יש איזה אור – וְ"כִי אֵשֵׁב בַּחֹשֶׁךְ ד' אוֹר לִי". כמו מלך שנישלו מכיסאו, ונמצא במקום מרוחק מארמונו, ורק זיכרון מעמד המלוכה שהיה לו פעם מחיה אותו, כך הצדיקים והחכמים שבדורות הגלות: המציאות לא מאפשרת להם את ההשגות הרוחניות שהיו יכולים להגיע אליהן אם האומה הייתה בארצה והמקדש עומד על תילו, ולכן הם מתחברים לאותו מעט מזער מהאורה הגדולה שהייתה, על ידי הזיכרון בעצם המציאות האלוהית שיש בהסתר גם בחשכת הגלות. זה מה שזורח להם בחשכתם.

כעת הרב עובר לעניין הכללי – הקשר בין ירידת הרמה הרוחנית של עם ישראל בגלות לרמה הרוחנית שבכלל ההוויה: אֲבָל הָעִנְיָן הָאֱלוֹהִי וְהַמְּגַמָּה הָעוֹלָמִית, העוצמה הרוחנית שבכללות ההוויה אִם הָיְתָה עוֹמֶדֶת בִּמְקוֹמָהּ וּמַדְרֵגָתָהּ הָרִאשׁוֹנָה, לֹא יָכְלוּ לְהִתְחַבֵּר אָז כְּלָל עִם מְגַמָּתָהּ הָעַצְמִית, עם העוצמה הרוחנית שבעם ישראל. האור צריך להיות לפי גודל הכלים והכלים לפי גודל האור, ואילו חוסר פרופורציה בין הדברים יוצר נזק. אם המצב הרוחני באנושות היה נשאר כפי שהיה קודם ירידת ישראל לגלות, זה היה כמו כלי גדול שמקבל אור קטן, ההופעה האלוהית לא הייתה מגיעה כראוי דרך עם ישראל, וְאָז הָיוּ חַיֶּיהָ בַּגָּלוּת נוֹטְלִים לָהֶם דֶּרֶךְ חֹל, בְּאֵין פְּנוֹת לְהִתְקַשֵּׁר עִם הַמְּגַמָּה הָאֱלוֹהִית שֶׁל צוּר כָּל הָעוֹלָמִים, צַדִּיק בְּכָל הַדּוֹרוֹת. הכל היה מתחלל, כי לעומת גדולת הכלים שמסביב, התרבויות המפוארות של אומות העולם, לא היו מרגישים את שארית האור שעוד נותרה מהימים שקודם הגלות.

מֶה עָשָׂה הַקָּדוֹשׁ־בָּרוּךְ־הוּא? כְּשֵׁם שֶׁנִּתְמַעֵט הָאוֹר הַזּוֹרֵחַ בָּהּ לְגַבֵּי תְּכוּנָתָהּ הַפְּנִימִית, כֵּן יָרַד הָאוֹר הָאֱלוֹהִי הַכְּלָלִי בָּעוֹלָם, וְהַשִּׂגּוּב שֶׁל הָעִנְיָן הָאֱלוֹהִי שֶׁהוּא אוֹר חֵי הָעוֹלָמִים אֵינֶנּוּ מַבְהִיק כִּי־אִם בְּאוֹר קָלוּשׁ כָּזֶה, שֶׁהוּא יָכוֹל לְהִתְאַחֵד עִם הָאוֹר הַזּוֹרֵחַ בְּנִשְׁמָתָן שֶׁל יִשְׂרָאֵל, גַּם אַחֲרֵי הַיְרִידָה שֶׁגָּרְמָה הַנְּפִילָה הַגְּדוֹלָה שֶׁנָּפְלָה עֲטֶרֶת תִּפְאֶרֶת יִשְׂרָאֵל מִשָּׁמַיִם אֶרֶץ. לפתע רואים שאפילו הקהילה היהודית המושפלת והבזויה, היא מגדלור של חכמה ומוסר, השכלה ותורה. בישראל יש קדושה, שהיא ייחודיוּת, נבדלוּת. לעתים זה יוצר הערצה, לעתים שנאה, וקורה גם שהן באות ביחד. לא ניתן היה להתעלם ממרכזיותה של הקהילה היהודית בימי הביניים, כי רושם האור שאותו היא שימרה היה גדול הרבה יותר מהחושך שסביבה. הוא נותר בולט ומרכזי באותה מדה כפי שהיה קודם הירידה לגלות. אלא שכמובן, זאת בגלל שגם הרוחניות שבאומות העולם ירדה. כך נשמר מעמד הרוחניות בישראל.

וּבִהְיוֹת הָעִנְיָן הָאֱלוֹהִי הַכְּלָלִי בְּתוֹר אוֹר הָעוֹלָם עוֹמֵד בְּמַעֲמָד כָּזֶה ואז האורות מתאימים לכלים, הרוחניות שמופיעה בעם ישראל גדולה מזו המופיעה באומות העולם שׁוּב הָעִנְיָנִים הוֹלְכִים וּמִתְחַבְּרִים, וְהַמְּגַמָּה שֶׁל מְצִיאוּת הָאֻמָּה בְּרוּחַ קָדְשָׁהּ הַפְּנִימִי וְהַמְּגַמָּה הַכְּלָלִית הָאֱלוֹהִית הַגְּדוֹלָה שֶׁל הַהֲוָיָה כֻּלָּהּ יְכוֹלוֹת הֵן לְהִתְאַחֵד כְּאֶחָד, וכך צריך להיות, גאולת ישראל היא גם גאולת העולם,[192] וּמִמֵּילָא הֵן מִתְחַבְּרוֹת בְּיַחַד בְּעַצְמָן, וּבְנִשְׁמוֹתֵיהֶן שֶׁל יִשְׂרָאֵל בִּפְרָט וּבְנִשְׁמַת כְּלָלוּת הָאֻמָּה בִּכְלָל, וְהֵן מוּכָנוֹת יַחַד לַעֲלוֹת בִּישׁוּעַת גּוֹי וֵאלוֹהָיו, "אֲנִי וָהוֹ הוֹשִׁיעָה נָא". כאשר בכלל העולם אנו פוגשים את הרצון האלוהי הכללי שמוליך את העולם לגאולתו, בכנסת ישראל אנו פוגשים את ההשגחה הפרטית המיוחדת ברעיונות של לאומיות יהודית, קיבוץ גלויות, הרצון לעוצמה לאומית מבחינה גשמית ורוחנית. וודאי שבסְכמה זו יש המון פרטים שראויים לניתוח, אך כמגמה כללית רואים שמצב הרוחניות שבישראל והתקרבותם למימוש הגאולה, משפיעים על מצב הרוחניות שבאנושות בכללה וממילא על התקרבות העולם כולו לגאולתו השלימה.

[182] יומא סט, ב: "ויצעקו אל ד' אלוהים בקול גדול. מאי אמור? אמר רב ואיתימא ר' יוחנן: בייא בייא, היינו האי דאחרביה למקדשא וקליה להיכליה וקטלינהו לכולהו צדיקי ואגלינהו לישראל מארעהון ועדיין מרקד בינן… אותיבו בתעניתא תלתא יומין ותלתא לילואתא, מסרוהו ניהליהו. נפק אתא כי גוריא דנורא מבית קדשי הקדשים. אמר להו נביא לישראל – היינו יצרא דעבודת כוכבים" (תרגום: ויצעקו אל ד' אלוהים בקול גדול. מה אמרו? אמר רב ואיתימא רבי יוחנן: הוי הוי, יצר זה הוא שהחריב את בית המקדש, ושרף את ההיכל, וגרם למיתת הצדיקים וגלות ישראל מארצם ועדיין מרקד בינינו… ישבו בתענית שלושה ימים ונמסר בידם, יצא מבית קדש הקודשים כדמות אריה של אש, אמר להם זכריה הנביא – זהו היצר של עבודת כוכבים).

[183] קונפוציוס הוא כינויו של צ'יו קונג, בערך 479 – 551 לפנה"ס.

[184] לאו דזה, שפירושו בסינית: "החכם לָאו", חי במאה הששית לפנה"ס.

[186] סוקרטס, בערך 399 – 470 לפנה"ס. נחשב בעיני רבים לאבי הפילוסופיה המערבית.

[187] אפלטון, בערך 427-347 לפסה"נ. פילוסוף יווני, תלמידו של סוקרטס ומורו של אריסטו, שיחד עמו נחשבים לשלושת הפילוסופים היוונים הגדולים ביותר. שמו האמיתי היה אריסטוֹקלֶס, ויש מסבירים שהכינוי אפלטון, שמשמעותו ביוונית: 'רחב', ניתן לו בשל רוחב דעתו.

[188] אריסטו, כינויו של אריסטוטלס, בערך 322 – 384 לפנה"ס.

[189] בניין בית המקדש השני מתוארך למאה הששית לפנה"ס, והנבואה פסקה בראשית תקופת הבית השני. הנביאים האחרונים היו חגי, זכריה ומלאכי.

[190] בעניין משמעותה של הנשמה ומקומה באישיות האדם, עי' לעיל פרק ט.

[191] ואז המצב הוא –"no news is good news" אין חדשות – אלו חדשות טובות. כשאין שאיפה גבוהה לתיקון ושכלול המציאות, השאיפה היא שהשגרה תישאר כפי שהיא.

[192] אורות, 'ישראל ותחיתו' ה': "גאולת עולמים בגאולת גוי קדוש" אורות הקודש ח"ג עמ' כח: "לחרות עולם נגאלנו, זיכך אותנו כור הברזל אשר במצרים, להכין גאולה לעולם כולו בגאולתנו".

The Holy Gaze Of A Tzadik

Today I want to talk to you about the wonderful figure of the Rebbe Rabbi Yisrael of Husiatyn, may his memory be blessed, who was descnded from Rebbi Yisrael of Ruzhin and the Maggid of Mezritch. In his final years, he went to the Land of Israel and lived for many years in Tel Aviv. This is one of the miraculous figures of Chasidism. He was truly the light of the Jewish settlement in the Land of Israel in those years, and the greatest righteous individuals called him 'the righteous one of the generation'.

His leadership was one of silence. He wouldn't give words of Torah at the Tish, but sometimes the presence of the righteous person and their silence bring so much blessing. His anniversary of death falls on the fifth night of Chanukah. He is buried in the cemetery in Tveria, and many people visit his grave on this auspicious day.

The pain, oh the pain

The story before us is about a Belz Hasid who lost his entire family in the Holocaust and was completely heartbroken. He ascended to the Land of Israel and wanted to meet his teacher, the holy Rebbi Aharon of Belz, of blessed memory, who at that time lived on Ahad Ha-am Street in Tel Aviv.

The Hasid was filled with anticipation to meet the Rebbe after the difficult days he had experienced, and he hoped that in the Rebbe's shadow he could find solace for his soul, pouring out to the Rebbe what he had been through. But unfortunately, even after he reached the Rebbe and was in his presence, he tried several times to hear words of encouragement from him about what he had gone through in the Holocaust, but at this point, Rabbi Aharon would always respond with silence.

As is well known, the entire family of Rebbi Aharon of Belz perished in the Holocaust, and he arrived in the Land of Israel accompanied only by his brother – the father of the current Belzer Rebbe – and he fulfilled the verse "And Aharon was silent" in an extraordinary way. His close associates say that no sigh was heard from him during all the years he was in the Holy Land, and every time someone wanted to talk about the Holocaust, he would silence the speakers.

As an aside, it is worth noting that this is the level of a righteous person like him. For us, like all human beings, it is fitting to remember those who perished in the Holocaust, and of course, to listen to the elderly who share their grief. But at the same time, it's good to know about that righteous man who managed to uplift large parts of the Jewish people after the Holocaust precisely through his silence.

Peace of mind

Anyway, one morning, our Chasidic friend experienced a real emotional flood, and he said to himself: No matter what, I must hear clear words from the Rebbe about everything I've been through and am still going through... After everything I lost in the Holocaust, the only thing left to me is my own soul, and the soul has so many questions and doubts about faith, and without resolving these doubts – what's the point of my life, when even faith can be taken from me, God forbid...

The Hasid entered Rebbi Aharon of Belz and again wanted to pour out his heart to the Rebbi, but then the Rebbi said to him: Listen, all the questions you want to ask me, you should ask Rebbi Yisrael of Husiatyn. With him, you will find an answer and solace for your troubled soul.

The Chasid heard and immediately inquired where the Rebbe of Husiatyn was located. Indeed, he was directed to the Rebbe's home on Bialik Street in Tel Aviv. However, when he arrived there, he was told that Rabbi Yisrael was currently in Jerusalem, as was his custom every year to stay in the holy city from the days of Tamuz until after the High Holidays.

Well, the Chasid got on a bus and went to Jerusalem. You can imagine that in those days, travel wasn't easy or fast, but eventually, he reached Rabbi Yisrael's inn. It wasn't during visiting hours, and the gabbai, who was very strict about the Rebbe's schedule, wouldn't let him in. But the Chasid said to him: Listen, I'm coming straight from Tel Aviv right now, and I really need to ask the Rebbe a question urgently. He begged him to come in, and the gabbai – whose name was Rabbi Yisrael Schreiber – couldn't resist his pleas. He went into the Rebbe and told him about the guest who had arrived. The Rebbe heard and responded to the gabbai: If he truly came all the way from Tel Aviv, please let him in.

I was reborn

The Hasid entered the Rebbe's room and saw him sitting on his throne. He really felt weak in the knees. Terror and fear fell upon him, a kind of awe from above. As he got a little closer, the Rebbe extended his holy hand and asked him: Are you a Jew from Tel Aviv? And in the meantime, the Rebbe looked at him with a focused and prolonged gaze. The Chasid recoiled. He was unable to answer with his mouth, and only nodded his head in agreement.

The Rebbe continued and asked: Do you have anything to ask?

Later, we received the description of the Chasid from that meeting, and he recounted it in these words: Suddenly, as the Rebbe looked at me with his piercing gaze, I felt as if all the events and suffering I had endured, everything I had seen – incredibly difficult events – suddenly melted away before the light that shone upon me. It was a light that was impossible to explain, and so was its feeling. As a result of the light the righteous man shed on me with his few words and his gaze – he said – my tongue stuck to my palate. The Rebbe asked me if I had a question, but at that moment something miraculous happened to me: all the questions and doubts I had, everything disappeared. I just didn't have anything to ask, so I answered in my head with a no.

The Chasid continued and recounted: The Rebbe told me, 'Go in peace,' and bid me farewell while holding my hand in his palm, which was still outstretched. I left his room humbly, and I felt as if I had been reborn.

Understand, friends, the gabbai who watched everything that was happening didn't understand what was going on. A Jew from Tel Aviv in particular comes and urgently requests to see the Rebbe because he has a vital question. The gabbai asks the Rebbe to let him in, and the Rebbe agrees, but in practice, the guest didn't ask anything, which surprised the gabbai very much. But we learned from the Hasid what he went through in those moments. He described this experience as the Rebbe, with his loving eyes and illuminating gaze, connecting him to the ultimate source of faith and thereby dissolving all the questions he had...

Dear friends, li-chaim! May we, thru the merit of Rebbi Yisrael of Husiatyn, be able to gaze upon the candles and merit that we too will witness how all questions, doubts, and uncertainties melt away in their light. Of course, there are things worth sharing with our teachers and receiving answers, advice, and guidance on, but sometimes we are blessed with such a wonderful revelation of infinite light that all questions and doubts are resolved. li-chaim!

Purpose of Mission

Often, it is hard to discern between acts of good intent, and of good intent mired with selfishness. This week we read two similar stories that are in reality very different and have very different endings. Tamar was the wife of Yehudah’s son, Er. When he died, Yehudah gave her his next son, Onan. But Onan died too. And Yehudah refused to give her his last son Shailah. The custom in that day was that as long as the widow was not totally relinquished from the deceased’s family, she would not be allowed to marry an outsider. Tamar was desperate for Yehudah’s seed. She hid her face, dressed as a prostitute, and seduced Yehudah himself. Yehudah, unaware of who his courtesan was, reacted in horror when he was told that Tamar was with child. “Take her and have her put to death,” he ruled. Tamar’s plans were almost for naught. She would never bear the seed that she envisioned.

The wife of Potiphar also had a vision. She saw in the stars that she and Yoseph would breed greatness. She tried to seduce him. She too wanted to fulfill her vision. But Yoseph refused time and time again. He finally fled together with her visions.

Rav Yeruchom Levovitz asks a powerful question. Both of these women had visions, and though their methodology was unconventional, why is there so much disparity as to their status.? Tamar is viewed as the righteous woman who desperately wanted a child from Yehudah. She is known as the Mother of The Kingdom of David. Yet the wife of Potiphar is treated as an adulterous two-timer who tries to seduce Yoseph and then throws him into jail. In what way is she so different than Tamar?

Rabbi Boruch Ber Lebowitz, Rosh Yeshiva in Kaminetz, Poland, had a difficult time getting his older daughter married off . When an outstanding student of his accepted a marriage proposal, Reb Boruch Ber was overjoyed. He knew this young man to be a both a scholar and gentleman. As engagements in those days would endure for a long time, he suggested to the young man to continue his studies, uninterrupted, in a distant city.

One could not imagine the shock Reb Boruch Ber had when two months later a package arrived. In it was the watch and other gifts that Reb Boruch Ber had given the young man on his engagement. An enclosed note tersely stated that for personal reasons the engagement was off. The bride and her parents were both devastated.

A few years later Rabbi Lebowitz called in three of his closest students to a private meeting. “I’d like you to read this letter and tell me if I have infected it with my personal pain,” he told them. The students read the letter and stood in awe. A community was seeking a recommendation concerning an applicant for a rabbinical position there. The scholar had learned in Kaminetz and asked Rabbi Lebowitz for a letter of recommendation. The candidate was none other than the formerly engaged student. Rav Lebowitz wrote a beautiful letter, flowing with praise, but was worried that perhaps his personal bitterness may have dulled the response. He called his best students to approve. They knew of the incident and were amazed by the praises Rabbi Lebowitz had written.

Rav Yeruchom explains - every action has a litmus test that reveals true intentions: Failure.

When one fails does one look to heaven and say, “G-d, I tried to do the job my way. I failed. Now it is up to you." Or does one scream and curse and perhaps even maim and destroy to get his way? Many people begin noble missions, but when they fail, personal vendettas arise.

Tamar failed, and when Yehudah sentenced her for becoming pregnant from out of the family she did not embarrass him by pointing an accusatory finger. She just showed items he left behind and said, “I am pregnant from the owner of this staff, seal and wrap.” Fortunately, Yehudah admitted his folly, and she was spared. Her children were King David’s grandparents.

Potiphar’s wife’s vision ended as Yoseph fled. She could have said, “G-d, I tried to fulfill the dream, now it’s up to you.” (It actually was, as Yoseph married her daughter!) She didn’t. She reacted with a vengeance and accused him falsely. Yoseph was sent to prison. Potiphar’s wife is forever branded as an evil temptress.

Sometimes the experience of failure destroys the nobility of mission. Only those acts that are bred with purity of purpose remain unscathed. They continue to flourish with honor in the face of adversity. Ultimately, they succeed, and we reap the fruits of that success for many years to come. 

Rabbi Kaminetzky