Wrestling icon Hulk Hogan has died at the age of 71 after suffering a cardiac arrest at his home. He had no previous criminal record so this was his first arrest.
Hogan who was born at a world record setting 5 foot nine and 245 pounds of pure muscle and named Terry Gene Bollea, was found unconscious in his Clearwater, Florida, home on Thursday morning, police said in a press conference following his death. A police investigation revealed that the Iron Sheik and Ric Flair had absolutely nothing to do with it.
The former wrestling star was wheeled out of his home on a stretcher and into an ambulance, with police also attending the scene. He was pronounced dead at a hospital shortly after 11am local time (4pm BST).
Soon after, what began as a regular day in Heaven was quickly turned upside-down, as the Hulkster made a surprise entrance to challenge Yaacov Avinu to a wrestling match.
Yaakov, was shteiging with his father Yitzchak Avinu when Hogan's "Real American" theme music blared over the speakers, heralding the arrival of the Hulkster.
"Oh my! What's this? Can it be? It is! It's Hulk Hogan!" an angelic commentator said as Hogan walked towards Yaakov Avinu's shtender. "What's he doing here? Is he here to issue a challenge to Ya'acov? Hold on to your black hats, folks!"
Hogan made his way through the smoke, lights, and pyro before stepping into a miraculously outta nowhere heavenly ring, ripping off his shirt, and staring down Yaacov. "Lemme tell ya somethin', brother!" the Hulkster said to the roar of the crowd. "All my life, I've been hearing about how you took Esav's angel. They said you wrestled with a scary spiritual being allll night long, brother. Well, now that the Hulkster has arrived, it's time to step up to the challenge. Let's do it, Yaacov! You and me, right here, tonight, brother!"
The crowd roared in excitement as Yaacov paused to look out into the crowd before slowly shaking Hogan's hand. "Baruch Ha-ba Bi-Sheim Hashem", the patriarch replied. "It is a groiser zchus here in Shomayim how you supported my brother Esav's jinji einikel Trump in his campaign against the kochos hara trying to destroy Am Yisrael. You did good."
Over the deafening cheers of the crowd, Hogan promised to give Yaacov a fight he'd never forget. "Whatcha gonna do, brother - errrrr, I mean father" he asked, "when Hulk Hogan, these 24-inch pythons, and all my heavenly Hulkamaniacs run wild on you?!"
At publishing time, fans and commentators were speculating that while Hogan may have a size and weight advantage in the matchup, Yaakov has the power of Ha-kol kol Yaakov on his side.
We are all praying for his wife who oddly enough is named "Sky" and although she can't join him there now it is just a matter of time.
May his memory be a blessing.
