From my archives....
In pashas Chukas we read of the Jews COMPLAINING [yet again] to Hashem. They don't like the food נפשנו קצה בלחם הקלוקל [sounds like disgruntled guests at a fancy hotel. "The food is atrocious"] and say to Hashem "Why did you bring us up from Mitzraim to die in the wilderness". I mean, chevre, let's have some gratitude. We saw great miracles and Hashem didn't really bring you to the wilderness to die. But alas, a person gets what he asks for and the נחשים - snakes, came out and bit the people and a "large multitude" died. The Jews then realized that they had sinned [scary snakes can really awaken a person] and asked Moshe to daven for them. He of course did and this is where it gets interesting. Hashem tells Moshe to take a "seraph" and place it on a pole and anyone who looks at it will live. Moshe then took a "snake" of copper [נחש הנחשת], placed it on a pole and whoever looked at it lived.
The meforshim wonder: What is going ON here?? Hashem tells Moshe to take a "seraph" ["fiery"] but he takes a snake instead? What is a seraph? If it is a snake then why didn't Hashem just say "Take a snake". Why not speak to the point??
Here is a huge idea, but first a couple of anecdotes on a great man and one of the greatest Torah Scholars of our generation, HaGaon HaRav Avraham Genechovski ztz"l who recently passed away.
He was such a pure soul that he couldn't bear to tell anyone anything that would cause them discomfort. He would never say "you are wrong" "just the opposite" [farkert] or other terms of endearment that are so common in the rhetoric of the Beis Medrash. A Rov once gave a shiur and came to a halachic conclusion that Rav Genechovski felt was in error. He KNEW that the Rov was wrong but he couldn't bring himself to publicly correct him so he remained silent. He then wrote him a letter thanking him for the shiur and told him how impressed he was that he came to the conclusion that ... and then he wrote the opposite of what the Rav had actually said, as if that is what he understood. He then proceeded to marshal proofs in favor of the Rov's thesis [which in fact was the opposite of what he had said] proving him "right".
We live in world where people are often very critical, even without realizing it. For example, when a parent says to a child "Why did you do that" he really means "You are bad. You should not have done that". "Why" is almost always a criticism. Every time a person is corrected it is a form of criticism. The correcter is saying "You did/said the wrong thing". There are countless forms of subtle and covert criticism in addition to the overt explicit type. OF COURSE at times people need it but we receive so much of it that many of us have internal voices which are relentlessly critical of ourselves and others and then we pass it on to the next generation. This is a broad topic but in a nutshell this is the unfortunate reality.
Moshe argued with Hashem at the burning bush and Hashem gave him the sign of the snake. When he was lax in circumcising his son Hashem sent a snake that almost swallowed him up alive [see Rashi Shmos 4/24]. Now again there are snakes that come as punishment. If Hashem would have said "take a snake" then Moshe would have been hurt [yes, even great people have feelings] because he would have felt that Hashem is reminding him of all of his sins [in fact the root of all sin is the primordial snake]. It is PAINFUL when we are reminded of our failures. So Hashem in His Divine Sensitivity refrained from saying the word "snake" and instead alluded to it by saying the word "seraph" [fiery]. Moshe understood that Hashem meant a "snake" but Hashem didn't want to make him feel badly by saying it explicitly. [Based on Rabbeinu Ephraim al HaTorah, quoted by the Rebbe Shlita]
Sweetest friends, a personal request. No, not for contributions. Those are hard for people and more often than not go unanswered [was that a criticism? If so I take it back:-)]. Try, just this Shabbos, not to criticize anyone. Not even your husband.... OF COURSE you have to educate him and set him straight and teach him how to behave but give him a day of rest. Let your kids just feel that they are good and not that they are inadequate in so many areas. Don't even complain about the heat. Instead say "Hashem! Thanks for the sun in whose absence we would all freeze to death [and if it were closer we would burn to death]". No complaints, no criticism. It all begins with an awareness of how critical we are and then we can fix it. It is a different world when everything is positive. Try it:-).
