The definition is being alive is being able to speak. ויהי האדם לנפש חיה - לרוח מממלא. A living being is a speaking being. When a person dies he is called "speechless" - יורדי דומה. [I know that some people are waiting for me to die so that I will be rendered speechless but I am doing my best to keep this thing going for as long Hashem will give me:-)]. The angel who is in charge of dead people is called דומה - silence. When one speaks he is actualizing his humanity.
That is what the gemara [ברכות ו] means, explains the Maharal, when it says that the Torah was given with 5 קולות. The קול is speech, actualization. 5 is the four directions plus the central point. The Torah is full actualization, שלמות, so it had to be given with five קולות. The gemara says that when one is משמח חתן וכלה he is זוכה to Torah that was given with 5 קולות. The union of a man and a woman is a שלימות so it is befitting that one who contributes to their joy of שלימות should receive the Torah of שלמות that was given with 5 קולות.
There are so many people with pain in their hearts and need someone with whom to share their burdens. Holding it in and not talking about it - as so many do - is a form of death. Yes, they can go to someone and pay 250 dollars and after 45 minutes the person will say "I am sorry, we have to stop in a minute" [because there is someone outside with another 250 dollars for me] "and we can continue next time" [for another 250]. It would be much better of you can provide this holy service free of charge and out of love.
There are also soooooo many singles who are suffering the existential angst of loneliness. Only with a partner can one experience the joy of שלימות. Set up a couple today!!
