NEW YORK, NY — In response to growing questions about his political leanings, New York City mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani issued a statement to clarify that he is not a communist, but only wants the government to seize the means of production, abolish private property ownership, and put capitalists in gulags.
After becoming the target of heavy criticism following his victory in the Democratic Party primary, Mamdani was forced to defend his philosophy against allegations of communist influences and instead explain that he simply stands in full alignment with communism's platform, values, and agenda.
"To label me a Communist is absolutely ridiculous," Mamdani told reporters. "I am most certainly not a Communist. I just want to let the ruling classes tremble at our revolution, help the proletarians lose their chains, and unite the workers of the world, that's all. Also, how can I be a Communist and a proud Muslim Jihadist at the same time? Totally incompatible world views! What people are saying about me is just outright lies. It is not true that I am against American values such as Capitalism. The truth is that I am just a Socialist who wants to defund the police and redistribute all wealth."
"Oh, I also plan to murder all the billionaires. And put the Capitalists in gulags. But that's pretty much it."
"And the claim that I am antisemitic is patently absurd. I don't hate Jews. Just Zionists and anybody who believes that Jews have the right to live ..... in Palestine, that is."
Mamdani's detractors had sounded the alarm over what they described as "extreme left-wing views," accusations he flatly denied. "Just more fear-mongering and smear tactics from my opponents," he said. "I want the state to have complete power, society to be leveled into total equity across the board, government to make all decisions for the people, no private ownership of any businesses or property, and for anyone who disagrees with my political philosophy to be rounded up, imprisoned in camps, and executed. But that doesn't mean I'm some kind of Communist or anything. I don't even speak Russian and my favorite color is not even red but charcoal black - which will also be the color of my closest advisors. No Whiteys in my cabinet. Too much privilege."
At publishing time, Mamdani had issued a follow-up statement saying that his plans to build a miniature Mount Rushmore-style monument in lower Manhattan featuring Karl Marx, Mao Zedong, Joseph Stalin, and Che Guevara should not lead anyone to believe he is a Communist. "How", he argued, "can someone who holds the Nazis in such high esteem be a Communist??"
