Thursday, June 19, 2014

What Could Be Wrong With Chesed??

My daughter Gila is finishing 12th grade Baruch Hashem. In Israel there are three basic options for girls her age. 1] Army. 2] Sheirut Leumi [national service] 3] Neither and instead continued studies for a profession [together with chesed projects (such as helping one's mother around the house and with the younger children) and learning Torah etc.]. Those who choose number three are usually married within 3 years or so and need a degree in order to help support their new family.

The option of the army for girls was and is strictly forbidden by every Rov worth his salt in the last 66 years since the birth of the State. Any girl who goes is doing so against the psak of all Gdolei Yisroel. The Israeli army is no place for girls.

Option two, national service, is chosen by many in the Dati Leumi [National Religious] camp. Most of the Gdolei Yisroel strictly forbade this as well. People can't understand this. Why would anybody object to a girl spending a year or two doing chesed??

The Chazon Ish maintained that Sheirut Leumi is יהרג ואל יעבור. He was well aware of the value of chesed. About 2 years ago there was an article in the Dati Leumi newspaper "Basheva" which featured interviews with numerous girls who had served in various functions and the stories they told were frightening, disturbing and provided the strongest argument against Sheirut Leumi, made by the very people who support it. The most troubling of the stories were the number of girls who had succumbed to the passes of Arab workers at hospitals and the like. Imagine - a frum skirt-wearing-davening-every-day-girl who falls in love with an Arab from Ramallah [until he starts beating her up...].

Here is an excerpt from the weekly Shabbat Bishabato Parshat Korach:

 
In this article we want to focus on the subject of Sheirut Leumi, and we have asked Moriah, who is married and has children of her own, to think back about her experience:
 
"I took a job in one of the hospitals where our help is very important. We all arrived with a tremendous desire to contribute, and the girls sometimes forget what they might lose along the way. I was forced to cope with situations what were not simple in my relationship to the staff in general and to the Arab workers in particular. I will tell you briefly about some examples: In the department where I was sent to work there was a man on the cleanup staff who was a bit too friendly. He was always pleasant, he paid me compliments, he put candies in my locker every day. At first you feel very strong, but after a while you become weaker... There really is no place to run away, after all you and he work in the same department... And to top it all off, the rest of the staff do not see any problem with his 'nice' attitude.
 
"Every morning, before I went into the department, there was another Arab cleaning man in the entrance who would playfully block my way with his mop. One morning, he tripped me with the mop and stopped my fall with his body! I went to complain to the social worker in the hospital. She was skeptical and said that some of the girls make up stories in order to gain attention. In the end, she told me that he would be fired. But about a month after I finished I went there for a visit, and I found that the same worker had been reinstated as soon as I left. The doctors have the authority in the place, as part of their status they turn to the girls of Sheirut Leumi however they want to, including making them offers that are not always in their best interests..."
 
It is important to note that Moriah's story is not unusual. Like other girls who served in Sheirut Leumi, she feels that she did not know how to judge the significance of the incidents which she experienced. The Sheirut Leumi organizations provide support through their area directors, by organizing regular lessons, and more, but the level of success differs from one place to another. In addition, it is a good idea for the parents to pay a visit at the site of the service now and then (if necessary, they can always find some excuse for a visit). Unfortunately, many parents are not familiar with the site where their daughters serve, and the result is that they can help mainly with issues that the girl herself raises. Additional help should be available from the institution where the girl studied. The staff of this school knows the girls well, and it has people that they look up to, and to whom they can turn for advice even after leaving the school. Some facilities have regular contact with their graduates, and we recommend that every school should assign a specific teacher to maintain this contact, as part of his regular duties.
 
I humbly submit another idea - why don't they stop risking the spiritual [and at times physical] well-being of their daughters and abolish the system as per the pask of gdolei yisrael. Charedi girls who don't serve in Sheirut Leumi perform no less chesed than their Dati Leumi sisters. Chesed need not be under the auspices of the government.
 
We are not against chesed. Chas Vi-shalom. We are in favor of tzniyus and following rabbinic authority together with chesed.....:-).
 
Unlike her mother, who did two years of Sheirut Leumi [she wasn't aware of the strong opposition of Gdolei Yisroel and almost all of her friends went] my Gila'la will be choosing option number three [and her mother wouldn't have it any other way].

[As for the shidduch - you will hear about it when it happens imy"H...:-)].