Wednesday, September 20, 2023

Conservative Rabbis Vote Against Shabbos

The Rabbinical Assembly, an organization of Conservative rabbis in the U.S. and the second-largest Jewish denomination in the country after the Reform Movement, approved a preliminary decision to allow travel by electric car during Shabbos.

The decision was made following extensive debate with ultimately only 10 out of the committee's members voting in favor, while six voted against, and five abstained. G-d's vote against was not counted. 

There are, however, a number of preconditions for this:

1] They may not text and drive at the same time. That would be dangerous and an infraction of ונשמרתם מאד לנפשותיכם - a commandment that the Conservative movement takes seriously. And not the only one. Conservative Jews don't take the clothing of the Kohen Gadol and separate the the choshen from the ephod in order not to transgress "ולא יזח החושן מעל האפוד". They are also careful not to think that they will consume a korban outside of the proper time when performing the Avoda in order not to create piggul. Nor for that matter do they bring sacrifices on private Bamos.  

2] They must first say three times "nisht chilul shabbos, nisht chilul shabbos, nicht chilul shabbos". Similar to how some Orthodox Jews says "nicht Shabbos geredt" before saying something they may not say on Shabbos. Others use this trick before speaking lashon hara. "Nicht lashon hara geredt". Classic. "Nicht nivul peh geredt". "Nicht bittul Torah geredt". With a little originality, heterim can be found. As the famous feminist Green Bluberg is famous for saying "If there is a rabbinic will - women will be out of the kitchen and men will have to prepare all of the food and do all of the laundry". [Leading, of course, to a lot of indigestion and dirty clothing]. 

3] This permission is only granted to people who will not vote Trump. Otherwise - stay home. 

4] They have to have either a picture of the Lubavitcher Rebbe or the Baba Sali in the car. Adds holiness. Like they have in every felafel store in Israel.   

The six rabbis who voted against were denounced as extremist and measures might be taken to ensure that they never again try to encourage the observance of Jewish law. One of those rabbis - Rabbi Cheryl Bernstein of Temple Beth-El [named after the famous donor Beth Ellen Gviress], said that she is not afraid. "If they fire me it will allow me to spend more time with my three dogs, two cats, five parakeets, nine fish, two gerbils, two little boys and my husband Bernie."