Learning From Others

In a recent post I mentioned that I am an "Observant Jew" in that I observe Jews. A thought....

People are fascinating. I have never ever met a person who wasn't. Every person I know with any depth is an entire sugya. More - an entire world. Seeing how people react, think, feel, perceive, act etc. etc. is a never ending source of interest. Never ever are two people even alike.

I, like everybody else have certain patterns of behavior and thought in which I repeatedly engage. It comes naturally. The relationships I maintain teach me alternatives which I might not have otherwise considered.

Examples: I know someone who is super-easygoing. Doesn't get angry. Doesn't hold grudges. Just "goes with the flow".  By nature I am not like that but when I interact with this person it enables me to consider employing this person's more effective and G-dly behavior. מכל מלמדי השכלתי.

I know a person who is giving almost to a fault. He would give away everything he had if he could [if his wife would let...]. Seeing him crushes my own natural selfish inclinations.

I know a person who makes me feel like a million bucks [how does a million bucks feel???]. This makes me want to make others feel like a million bucks. I learn HOW to do it and THAT I should do it.

I know a person with a tremndous ayin tova. Someone who has pleasure when others are successful. This makes MY ayin slightly less רע.

I also learn from others what NOT to be. Seeing what גאוה and תאוה and שנאה and all the other bad middos look like is a great incentive not to have them.

Bottom line - It is great to learn from sefarim but don't forgot that the most powerful lessons are from living breathing people.