One was a very Torah'dike idea. Humility. A counselor must have humility. Humility means that you don't claim to know better than the client what is good for him. Find out from the person what the person needs and wants and don't impose your own ideas upon him. Another aspect of humility is knowing that you don't know. Often, after months of therapy, new groundbreaking information is discovered and just when you thought you knew the person you realized you didn't. I have had this experience with boys in the Yeshiva many times. I was sure I knew them and I found out that I was OFF. Sometimes for the good and sometimes for the less good. Sometimes I found out such special things about the boy and sometimes I simply could not believe that this precious neshama had done certain aveiros. But what I now know for sure is that I don't know and always leave room for new information to enter the picture.
To quote Rav Yedaya Ha-pnini "תכלית הידיעה שלא נדע" - The purpose of all knowledge is to know that we don't know. This applies to the theological realm. We don't understand Hashem and never will. כי לא יראני האדם וחי. This applies to learning. Just when you thought you understood the gemara you realize that there are so many more layers of meaning. That is why the ארון in the mishkan was composed of half amos. All of our learning is always "half" and incomplete [Maharal]. It also applies to people. Don't think you really know them. I would say that of the 80 million people who know me only about 2 or 3 really know me. Maybe. If you really want to know somebody that would take years and many heart to heart conversations.
To be honest beloved friends - I have great fondness for this idea. I don't know. I am always open to learning more.
Humility.
