לרפואת נעמי בת טובה
ואליענה רינה בת אלעזר יעקב
The wife of a friend who has a lot of tzaros went to one of the famous "Ayin Hara Ladies" of Jerusalem. These women claim [and many believe] that they can tell you how much ayin hara you have on yourself - meaning how many people are jealous of you - and then remove much of the harm. They do this by boiling a pot of lead and I am not clear on what else.
The idea that an ayin hara causes harm is very clear and undisputed in our sources. Jealously can cause great harm and can even kill. [See Bava Basra 60, Bava Basra 72, Sanhedrin 29, Sanhedrin 31, Shulchan Aruch Orach Chaim 141/6, Chazon Ish Likutim Choshen Mishpat 22, Michtav M'eliyahu 3/313 and many many other sources].
Whether these women really have the power to remove the ayin hara is the subject of considerable debate. We will give it credence for the sake of the lesson to be learned.
Back to my friend. The lady told his wife that they have HUGE ayin haras on them from all over.
Assuming this is legit - Why would anybody be jealous of these people? I know them well and can testify that they have a lot of tzaros [that is why she went to this lady in the first place]. The answer is that people don't know the whole story. All they see are the successes without knowing all of their pain.
The pasuk teaches us לא תחמוד - don't covet your friend's [beautiful] wife, his [fancy] house, his donkey [i.e. 50k minivan] etc. and concludes וכל אשר לרעך - anything he has. This means that if you are jealous of your friend - remember that it is a package deal - וכל אשר לרעך. He also has health problems you don't know about, he has financial problems you don't know about, he is being sued, his wife drives him up the wall, he has problems with his children etc. etc. וכל אשר לרעך. Don't be jealous. He has so much more than what meets the eye that you would NEVER want.
I remember once being envious of a friend from the U.S. who apparently had it all. It turns out that he also had severe mental illness, ultimately was divorced and then died of a terrible disease.
וכל אשר לרעך!
