Kiss Your Children

I have a theory for which I have numerous proofs [but we will not enumerate them as we try to keep our posts short]: The Torah is designed to fulfill not only our spiritual needs but our emotional needs as well.

If that is true, then we have foud the secret to happiness! Rebbe Akiva said that the all encompassing principle of the Torah ["klal gadol batorah"] is to LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOU LOVE YOURSELF. This means that our DEEPEST emotional need is to love and be loved. The Torah requires it above all other commandments because that is what we need most.

I recently read a book by a female non-jewish psychologist who concluded from years of research that man's deepest need is for love. Many of our problems in life stem from a lack of love. My own impression from observing the world is the same. People might not admit it and might not even know it but that is what they need most.

To love and to be loved.

So, sweetest friends. Invest a little bit less in your careers, classwork and entertainment and focus on enhancing your relationships. With your parents [if you are fortunate enough to have them], your spouse [ditto], children, friends etc. etc.

Hashem considers it most important - shouldn't we?!

Learn what makes people you know feel loved and then show it. For a child it may well mean physical affection, for a spouse - dinner, for a parent - a visit or phone call. Everybody has certain things which make them feel loved and what does it for you won't do it for your spouse. [I couldn't understand why my wife wasn't THRILLED when I bought her a set of Shev Shmatsa with the comments of the Avnei Nezer for her birthday. I made that up but you get the point.]

Love and blessings!:)


PS - For nice goyishe material on the topic I highly recommend Leo Buscaglia's books. He devoted his life to spreading love and encouraging people to express it.