"Behave Yourself!"

Pursuant to the previous post I thought of writing a learned piece on the laws of tfillin.
But instead I chose another topic....

Criticism. Why are people SOOOO critical?? I believe it starts because children receive so much criticism from the adult world. Every time we correct a person it is also a form of criticism. Listen to the average parent interact with his or her child and you will find INCESSANT criticism. "Don't eat with your fingers", "Say thank you", "Don't hit your sister", "Put away your toys and do your homework", "Lower your voice", the examples are infinite.

Am I suggesting that we don't educate our children and allow them to grow up to be vilde chayos [that is Yiddish for "Palestinian Nationalist"]. Most certainly not! I AM suggesting that the proportion of positive to negative comments be a good ten to one, at least. I am ALSO suggesting that when criticizing we should choose our words carefully. For example, instead of "Stop hitting your sister" maybe we can substitute "When you treat your sister with the respect she deserves it is soooo wonderful". He'll get the point. Or "I see you are really enjoying playing with your toys. Would you like to put away your toys and do your homework now or would you like do so in 5 minutes".

Every time we hear words they make an impression on us for better or for worse. Some words build and others destroy. MOST words create very subtle feelings but the accumulative [whew! Took me a few seconds to find that word hidden in the far reaches of my brain:)] effect is tremendous. [There is scientific proof for this but not for here].

I believe that we hear so many subtle words of criticism and displeasure as children that we unconsciously pick them up and pass the same feelings of unworthiness to the next generation.

Vi-la-Psychologists hayisa orah visimcha visason veekar!!!

Let's break the cycle - TODAY!!:)