R' Ron Eisenman
Rose Shapiro (name changed) has lived a life of accomplishment and apparent fulfillment.
Born to immigrant parents in the early 1920’s, she was the first of her siblings to graduate from high school and when she announced her intention to attend nursing school, the entire family was shocked.
Back then, women did not receive higher education and Rose Shapiro was a trailblazer in her own right.
She eventually secured a position at Passaic Beth Israel Hospital on Parker Avenue in the downtown area of the city.
By 1958 she had risen to a nursing supervisor and in 1970 before her 50th birthday she was the head of nursing in the labor and delivery section of the hospital.
She continued to work as a nurse until her retirement in 2000 at the age of 77.
Since then she has been volunteering on a weekly basis at St. Mary’s hospital in Passaic after Beth Israel closed.
Recently though, even the once a week volunteer work became too difficult and Rose came to my office seeking advice on what to do to keep herself occupied.
I had known Rose for almost twenty years; she was always upbeat and positive. This time she appeared forlorn and sad.
“Mrs. Shapiro, you look a little down; what’s bothering you?”
“Rabbi, I was a nurse for over fifty years.
I hardly ever missed a day of work and thank G-d I am financially secure as I have pension and full medical benefits.
My own health is good, considering my age, and in general life is good.
The one thing which pains me and leaves me no rest is the fact that I now that I reached the end of my days; I have no family to be with.
As you know, I never married.
I know many people assume that I did not marry because I chose a career over marriage; however, nothing can be further from the truth.
Even in my time, 70 years ago, there was a “Shidduch crisis” and I never found by ‘bashert’.
Believe me rabbi, I also wanted to get married and now that I am alone and no longer working, I have no companionship.
Rabbi, what can I do to help alleviate my pain?”
I looked up at Rose Shapiro and I realized that behind the professional and somewhat businesslike exterior there was a human heart in pain.
I thought for a moment and then asked her, “I know you would have loved to be married; however, do you regret your life’s choice?” Without hesitation Rose replied,
“Of course I would have loved to have found ‘Mr. Right’.
That being said, I found fulfillment in my work as a nurse and have realized that my essence is not defined by having or not having a husband.
I know I have contributed to this world in a meaningful way and although like everyone else I have my ‘peckel’ I do not consider my life unfulfilled or a failure.
Given the ‘cards’ which Hashem ‘dealt me’ I made the best of my life and know that I have touched many people in their time of need.
I just wish that I could somehow continue even now.”
I listened and I thought.
Suddenly the epiphany became clear.
“Mrs. Shapiro, I know exactly what you can do.
There are many single woman in our neighborhood who let’s just say are in the ‘over thirty’ crowd.
Often they come to pour out their hearts over their single status.
I try to help and to be encouraging; however, there is only so much I can do.
I would like to send these women to you Mrs. Shapiro.
I know you cannot help them find a Shidduch; however, you can tell from firsthand experience that life is not meaningless without a spouse. You can tell from your own life that no one’s true essence is defined solely by their marital status or by the amount of children they have.
You can be the one to give them succor and support. Mrs. Shapiro, will you do it?”
The next week an older single was in my office. “Rabbi, I must thank you, I just spent an hour with Mrs. Shapiro and she gave me more Chizuk than anyone I ever met; thank you for making the “Shidduch” between us.
Other women followed as well.
Perhaps the best phone call was from Mrs. Shapiro herself.
About two weeks later she called to tell me, “I have never felt so fulfilled in years; these young women who come to see me they give me purpose to my life and I feel young again. And by the way, I think my great-nephew might be perfect for Sima Yackoson….”
Two months later Sima and Rose’s nephew were standing under the Chupah at the Rose Castle.
After the glass was broken and after Sima kissed her mother, the first person she grabbed and hugged was Rose Shapiro.
Hashem has many ways to make Shidduchim...and Rose Shapiro realized once again how vitally essential and important her life really is.
