Why We Act In The Ways We Do - Saving Eyal, Gilad And Naftali

Social scientists spend a lot of time trying to figure out why people act in the ways they do. Their conclusion is that it has little to do with logic. People, despite what they may think, are not logical beings. We all have the capacity to be logical but we all too often don't use that faculty and instead are motivated by many other factors.

Our Baalei Mussar reached the same conclusion long ago. We are motivated by emotion, by our experiences, by what we see around us, by our innate nature, by our concern for public approval, etc. etc. but not [or very slightly] by logic.

Let me give you a f'rinstence. Let us imagine that Eyal, Gilad and Naftali, who were kidnapped and brutally murdered had been instead held hostage by the animals. After days of prayers on their behalf by Am Yisrael, they sent out word that for the small sum of 50 million American Dollars [44.0955993 million Euros:-)] they would free the boys, unharmed and unscathed.

How long would it take for the Jewish people to come up with the cash? Less than 5 minutes. 10 huge gvirim would happily give 5 million and the boys would come home וליהודים היתה אורה ושמחה וששון ויקר. [Acutally - I suspect that we could find many gvirim who would want the honor of paying for the whole thing. We are a holy nation...]

Now take these same 10 gvirim. They are sitting in a shteibel in Boro Park and a beggar who is making his rounds approaches each one with a note signed by a big Rov testifying to the fact that he has no money for his basic expenses such as food and medical bills. The Rav of the shteibel who knows that this person is really in need gives three dollars. Others give smaller or larger donations. Except for the gvirim. They don't give even one nickel. WHY NOT?? They have millions and millions. They will not feel it at all if they give a dollar. Or ten. Or even a thousand. That day at work they are going to earn many times that. So why can't they give the poor guy SOMETHING. Nebuch, nebuch. To save the three boys they would give 5 mil. in a second while here they won't even part with 5 bucks to help save this persons family from starving and to pay for medication.

In Yiddish they say ah vunder. A mind boggling, mystifying wonder.

The answer is that when the boys were kidnapped it tugged at their heartstrings and the level of empathy was running EXTREMELY high. When the "shnorrer" walks around the shul there is no empathy, just annoyance. Hence, no donation. Does it make SENSE? No. If saving a life is important, then all lives are important to save - not just people with whom you empathize.

Now let us change the scene a bit. The man walks in with his disabled, blind child in a wheelchair. Ahhh - here the gvirim can't take it and hand him 50's or even 100 dollar bills. Why? Because they are pained by the sight and the only way to feel a little better is to give. But wait!! Even when they didn't see the child - they read about him in the letter written by the big rabbi testifying to the fact that this man needs money for medical expenses. True - but if they don't see it with their own eyes, they aren't moved enough to act.

I was thinking about this recently after I was at a wedding and as per the custom in Israel, poor people circled the hall begging for donations. I watched as people who have millions of dollars consistently didn't give them anything [some didn't even give them the dignity of looking at them - maybe out of shame?]. I observed one of these people, a huge baal tzdaka, and asked myself - WAIT! This guy donates BUILDINGS, so why can't he spare a dollar or two. And if there are ten of these collecters - then ten dollars. No big deal for him but for them - breakfast! But not a penny.

Logically I believe that I am correct, but people don't act based on logic - notwithstanding their claims to the contrary.

My point is NOT that wealthy people don't give tzedaka - of course they do. My point is that how much people give, to whom they give etc. etc. is often based on supra rational [or - irrational] motivations. A human being must strive to have his brain rule over his heart. He must make a rational decision at to what is right and wrong and act accordingly - regardless of his feelings. This applies not only to giving but to all areas of our lives. I just chose this example because I am in "the parsha" of people not giving and trying to understand why....

I have a lot more analysis that maybe I will share in future posts but I wanted to provide people with "food for thought".

Love and blessings:-).