Rav Avraham Aratan z”l was the son of the famous chasid Rav Yisrael Aratan, one of the distinguished chassidim in the court of the Sefas Emes , who was very close with the Sefas Emes, and then, later, with the Imrei Emes and the Beis Yisrael. Rav Avraham lived in the Bayit Vegan neighborhood in Yerushalayim, and he davened in the Sochatchov beis midrash with Rav Henoch of Sochatchov.
Once, during my childhood, I heard him share that when his father, Rav Yisrael, was an avreich, he was once sitting with a number of outstanding avreichim, and with the Sefas Emes and the son of the Rebbe of Kotzk. The son of the Rebbe of Kotzk cited an insight from his father on Rashi’s comments in Parshas Chayei-Sara, explaining Eliezer’s remarks to Rivka’s family, “I said to my master [Avraham]: Perhaps the woman will not follow me [to Eretz Yisrael to marry Yitzchak]” (24:39). Rashi, based on Chazal, writes that the word אולי - perhaps, is written אלי - to me, indicating that Eliezer had a daughter and wanted to find an excuse so that she could marry Yitzchak. But Avraham said to Eliezer, “My son is ‘blessed’ and you are ‘accursed,’ and the ‘accursed’ cannot attach to the ‘blessed’.”
Many commentators raised the question of why this is alluded to in this pasuk, in which Eliezer is recounting to Rivka’s family his conversation with Avraham, and not earlier, when the Torah tells of Eliezer asking Avraham what he should do if the girl refused to go with him to Eretz Yisrael to marry Yitzchak (24:5-6). Why is it only here, when Eliezer tells Rivka’s family that he posed this question to Avraham, that the Torah alludes to his ulterior motives, that he had hoped his daughter would marry Yitzchak?
The Kotzker Rebbe, as his son cited, explained that Avraham’s servant was very intelligent – a seasoned shadchan and broker – and knew how to do business. When he spoke with Avraham, he made no mention at all of his having a daughter whom he wanted Yitzchak to marry, but when he spoke to Lavan and Besuel, as a bargaining tactic, he said that if they did not want to have their daughter marry Yitzchak, then he had a daughter for Yitzchak, in order to lower the price. The allusion of אלי thus does not appear in Eliezer’s conversation with Avraham, but only in his conversation with Lavan and Besuel.
The Kotzker Rebbe א"זיע then raised the question of why the Midrash calls Eliezer ארור - accursed, if all his actions were sincerely לשם שמיים , to ensure that the match would be made, and did not have his own interests in mind at all. The answer, the Kotzker Rebbe explained, is that indeed, when Eliezer spoke with Avraham, he was not thinking about his own wishes, and did not feel he had any vested personal interests in mind. But later, when he spoke with Lavan and Besuel, he carefully examined himself and realized that when he had spoken with Avraham, underneath the outer layers of altruism lay self-interest, his personal wish that his daughter would marry Yitzchak. And so he is criticized by Chazal who stated, "the ‘accursed’ cannot attach to the ‘blessed”.
Avraham Aratan then said that he once presented this insight to the Brisker Rav ztz”l , with whom he was privileged to have a very close relationship, and the Brisker Rav very much enjoyed the thought. The Brisker Rav remarked that he was not enough of a chasid to think that this is the actual explanation of Rashi’s words, but the deep truth embedded within this precious insight was very important and very valuable. He added, "It will be of use.”
At that time, Rav Aratan continued, a large group of Sephardic children emigrated to Israel, without any money or belongings, and the government wanted to enroll them in non-Torah observant institutions. Through Rav Aratan’s efforts, an institute named Zichron Olam was established in Bayit Vegan to educate these children according to Torah tradition. Several years later, Rav Avraham heard that the Brisker Rav needed a quiet, pleasant location where he could rest. Rav Avraham quickly invited the Brisker Rav to stay in the Zichron Olam building, as Bayit Vegan was a quiet, peaceful neighborhood, on a hill where the air was fresh, and so the Brisker Rav could get the rest he needed. When the Brisker Rav heard the offer, he smiled and said, “Reb Avraham, remember the Kotzker vort you told me , that sometimes a person says something without sensing that underlying his words is personal vested interest? If I come to stay in the Zichron Olam building, you are definitely going to ask me to see the institution and to speak to the students, so you can then publicize that I recommend it. So I don’t want to stay there.” Rav Avraham concluded by saying that indeed, at the time he extended the invitation, he was not thinking at all about any self-interest, and he was genuinely concerned for the wellbeing of the Rav of Brisk. But the Kotzker Rebbe was absolutely correct – that beneath his concern for the Brisker Rav’s wellbeing was hidden some personal vested interest for the benefit of the institution and its fundraising efforts.
This is an important lesson for each and every one of us – to realize how a person is filled with his own personal self-interests. Many times, when a person says something, he thinks that he speaks sincerely, לשם שמיים , but if he looks deep into his being and thoroughly examines himself, he will find that beneath his words is some personal interest. The way to avoid this is to consult with intelligent, G-d fearing peers, who are able to expose the hidden secrets of the heart of which the person himself may not be aware, and this will help a person always follow the right path.
[Tolna Rebbe Shlita - translated by Rabbi David Silverberg]
