Lo Taamod Al Dam Reyecha

Another terrible chillul-Hashem-scandal has hit the media. This time I actually know the accused quite well. I can say that in all of my years of being a student [from age 3 until 22] there was never a teacher who was as devoted to my well being and helped me as much as he did. He never did or said anything inappropriate to me. That doesn't mean that he is necessarily innocent. Some people think that if an abuser has good points that somehow erases his sins. It doesn't work that way. If an educator helped a thousand students and abused one, he should be severely punished for his offense. [I am not saying that the accused is guilty or innocent - but if he IS found guilty then all of the good he did does not cancel out the bad]. So we have one lesson already.

Another lesson:

One pattern that I have noticed that is followed in just about every scandal that erupts in the media - more than a few people knew about the misbehavior for a long period of time and did nothing to stop it. That is called לא תעמוד על דם רעיך - Don't stand by idly when your brothers blood is being spilled. Then after the facts are presented and many accusers step forward - many of the accused's supporters step forward to defend him. WHAT ABOUT THE VICTIMS??

On Friday I received an email from an old friend who broke the horrible news to me. My reply was "Hey, how come when "X" was accused of abusing students you not only didn't try to stop him [this friend has a lot of clout and $ay] but continued to be one of his biggest supporters.

He probably wasn't expecting THAT.... So he answered "In my humble opinion, I disagree".

Disagree with WHAT? If not one and not two and not three and not four and not five and not six people but many more, come forward and say that they were physically/emotionally/sexually abused by someone else how can someone who wasn't there say "I disagree". People are suffering and others are busy defending the aggressor.

Wonder of wonders.

Of course my friend didn't want to continue the conversation with me and I believe that deep down he is not comfortable with it either. [I also don't think he wants to be my friend so much anymore:-)].

If someone comes to the police and says that so and so broke into his home and stole money and the cops say "We disagree with you" without carefully investigating, they don't deserve to be policemen.

Chinuch is a matter of life and death. If a person has a positive experience in Yeshiva he will be happier both in this world and the next. If he has a negative experience he will likely be unhappy in this world and lose his portion in the world to come. How many people there are who are no longer religious because they had a bad Rebbi and how many ARE religious because they had a good Rebbi.

If there is a Rabbi about whom there is a DOUBT as to whether he is hurting or abusing students, he should be treated the same as a person about whom we have a DOUBT if he is a murderer. We should help him find another way to earn a living such as computer programming where he can't hurt anybody until we can prove that he is innocent. Usually, when there is smoke, there is fire. Usually.

I have had teachers who POUNDED me badly and being the sensitive sort [who isn't] I took it quite hard and until this day feel traumatized. Some are still teaching. Others are dead.... May they have a lichtige gan eden.

Most of my teachers - and the vast majority of Jewish educators, are very fine people whose lives are devoted to serving Hashem and his people. The rotten apples shouldn't cast a pallor over the many, many wonderful melamdei Torah in Klal Yisrael. There are daily Kiddush Hashem's in Yeshivos all over that will never make it to the papers or the internet because as we have said here many times - the media is primarily interested in reporting evil. [See the next post]

May Hashem grant all of us and all of our children teachers who are similar [as the gemara in Chagiga says] to angels of Hashem. And may we weed out all of the evil from our midst.

במהרה בימינו!!