Rabbi Shlomo Carlebach ztz’l – Vayeshev

Sharing Greatness

Thanks to Shlomo Gaisin for sending

What is a really good friend? Maybe you think a good friend is somebody to whom we can pour out our hearts and tell everything we did wrong – and still he loves us. That’s pretty good, because most of us are so afraid that maybe somebody will find out how low we really are and won’t love us anymore. Imagine that you have a friend who will love you no matter what you do. That’s already a very high level of friendship. But it is not the highest level. It's a sweet level, but not the highest. This is not real friendship.

Now let me ask you, do you have a friend whom you can really trust, to whom you can tell the good parts of you? Do you have anybody in the world whom you can tell, “Something so beautiful happened to me “- and he is as happy for you as you are for yourself? Do you have that kind of a friend? Do I have a friend whom I could tell, “You know, yesterday I won a million dollars,” and he would answer, “I'm so glad!”Most of my friends would say, “What a chutzpa! Why him? Really, what's so big about him? I'm sure God made a mistake - He was looking for me but couldn't find me. I can understand five dollars, but a million… are you crazy?

What is he going to do with it? God, I would know what to do with it, but what does this shmendrick, this fool, know?” Or imagine I tell somebody, “Yesterday I was walking down the street and I met this absolutely beautiful girl. I’m sure she is my soul mate. I love her so much that I want to get married.” Maybe this person will say, “Yes, that’s very nice.” But inside he’s really thinking, “I can't imagine what kind of a creepy girl that is. I mean let's face it - who would fall in love with you?”

And it’s the same thing when it comes to my service of God. Imagine that there was someone in the world whom I could tell, “Thank God, I have reached another level in my davening and my learning.” Why do we always hold back? Why can't we tell something good to other people? Because there is so much jealousy that they can’t stand it. Let's assume I finish learning the whole Talmud. So I walk up to somebody and say, “I’m so happy - I know the whole Talmud.” What do you think would happen? It would be the end of our friendship. Do you know why? Sadly enough, people don’t want me to be strong in my learning. They say to themselves, “You really think you know what the whole Talmud is all about? That’s crazy – because I know you are a dope.”

When God created the world, He wanted it to be a place where one human being could tell another,“Something so beautiful happened to me,” and the other person would be so happy it would blow his mind. And one friend would say to the other, “I'm so glad it happened to you.”

But if this isn’t what the world is like, then what do I do with my light all year long? I close the doors fast; I'm afraid to show what’s really inside me. I cannot tell somebody else, “Do you know how much light I have in my soul? Do you know how beautiful my home is, how much it is shining? Do you know what kind of a Shabbos I have?” I have to lock the door - I'm afraid. But on Chanukah something happens to the world. I can put my light at the door, and I can tell the whole world, “My house is filled with light.”

Let’s go one step further. Do I have one friend in the world to whom I can tell how special my children are? There isn't. But on Chanukah I tell my children, “Kindle a little light and put it by the door.”What am I really doing? I am telling everyone, “Do you see my child's light? What a light… what a light!”

I want you to know sweetest friends, when I see someone else putting on tefillin, I don’t have to say a blessing over it. When I put on tefillin I say a blessing, but I don’t need to make a bracha over someone else fulfilling the mitzvah. And the same thing is true of all the commandments except one - Chanukah. I kindle the lights of Chanukah in my house and I say the blessings. Then maybe I go for a walk down the street. And if I pass by somebody else's house and I see his Chanukah candles, I have to make a bracha again. [We don't rule this way  - so don't.... A.E.] Do you know why? Because, to be honest, all year long I don’t really care if somebody else puts on tefillin. I pretend that I do, but I don’t really care. But on Chanukah, when I see somebody else serving God, it blows my mind. I say to myself, “I knew my neighbor was beautiful, but I didn’t know he was shining so much. I already kindled Chanukah lights in my house, but how does my light compare to my friend’s? His is even deeper.”

So I make another bracha over my neighbor’s light. Then maybe later that night, the same person takes a walk and passes by my house. He sees my Chanukah candles and says, “Ribbono Shel Olam, Master of the World, I made a bracha over my light. But my neighbor’s light is so much more beautiful. Thank you, God, for my friend’s light.”

Friends, do you know what this is? Do you know what would happen if this was the way people were to each other? It mamesh would be the redemption of the world.

And this was the whole thing with Yosef Hatzaddik. Yosef was on such an exalted level – it was like after the coming of Mashiach. He thought he could tell his brothers, “Do you know what level I have reached? I have reached the level that I can be Mashiach, that I can be the king.” But his brothers weren't on the same level yet. They are holy, but they still had jealousy inside them. They couldn’t be happy for their brother. And this was the beginning of the downfall of the world.

Sweetest friends, do you know how broken your life is when you cannot stand somebody else being beautiful? Do you know how sad it is if your heart isn’t deep enough to say a blessing on somebody else's light? So during the same week that we read the story of the brothers selling Yosef, we make a great fixing – by kindling Chanukah lights.