Everything I say applies to both genders equally....
1] Don't fall asleep on her.
2] Don't not show up
3] Don't come late.
4] Don't text [or certainly have conversations on your phone] as she is speaking to you.
5] Don't look in every possible direction except at her [unless you are makpid on shmiras eynayim as you should be. Ask a big Rov first.....].
6] Try your best to be interested in everything she has to say. Don't show signs of boredom.
7] Try not to walk out on her. Go to the bathroom before the date and if you can last until after - great.
8] Be involved and participitory. She is not here to entertain you and you should be equally engaged.
9] Remember that she is a person too with feelings and try to make her feel good and important.
10] If she says something intelligent or meaningful - tell her!
11] Avoid all types of rudeness.
12] Add your own.
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What I wrote above is OBVIOUS!
P-A-S-H-U-T!!
It goes without saying that all I wrote applies equally to rabbbeim and mageeddei shiur [which is the point I wanted to make. If you should treat a girl with respect - a rav requires no less].
Here is the kicker....
EVERYTHING I described, all of the negative behavior that is insulting and offensive, is practiced by talmidim on countless occastions - and they don't even realize that they are doing anything wrong.
As someone who has been zoche to give many thousands of shiurim, I can say that in just about every shiur there are sleepers, iphone users [sometimes even as I learn bi-chavrusa one on one, the person willl be using his phone above or below the table], escapees in the middle, late-comers, no-shows, people that stare at me and don't react when I ask them a question in order to encourage participation and exhibit other acts of rudeness and disrespect [outside of calling me insulting names like "Stupid-Al". At least not to my face:-)]. And I must add that these are good, solid people who have no malicious intent.
I am not alone. I observe this in many shiurim that I don't give - even from very chashuv rabbanim.
I lament the disgrace to Torah and to those who teach it and use this forum to register a protest and to exhort all of my beloved-sweet-holy readers to be vigilant in preserving kavod hatorah umilamdeha. The Rambam [in the Ya"d] defines the mitzva of Torah as 1] teaching and learning and 2] honoring those who teach it.
Huuuuge.
