When one makes a simcha there are 3 categories of people.
1] People who don't come at all. Not everyone can make every simcha and that is understandable.
2] People who come but aren't really there. They just came because they didn't want to offend you and are already busy before they get there planning their getaway without offending you. This is also understandable. People are busy and it is haaaaaard to really be immersed in every simcha. People are thoughtful enough to come and to try to take part in the simcha out of the wonderful quality of sensitivity.
3] People who come and really FEEL the simcha. The other person's simcha makes them as joyous, or almost as joyous, as their own simcha would make them. They relish every second they are present and are even happy afterwards.
The highest and holiest quality is number 3. Not so many people in that category. [A family member once didn't attend a simcha of mine so in order to show me that he cared, he sent flowers [!]. I would have preferred if he would have given the money to a poor family and help them buy shabbos food. I'm a guy. Flowers??? I appreciate the sentiment but a waste of hard earned money. Great man. Good try. But still...]
The same applies to one's fellows pain. The highest level is when his pain is yours, when his problem is yours. If you know people in that category - I would like to meet them. I "collect" such people.
A hobby of mine.....
