Today, I went out to lunch with a friend. I was awakened by the waitress to a secret of shalom bayis.
She NEVER MET US IN HER LIFE, yet, when she saw us sitting there, she approached us and proceeded to offer us a meal in a completely friendly way. She patiently went through all of the specials of the day, readily repeated herself whenever we got confused, and happily complied with all of our wishes. For the next half hour or so, she was overflowing with friendliness and a willingness to SERVE.
Why don't wives talk to their husbands in the same way? Why aren't they as willing and eager to serve as much as a complete stranger in any restaurant is??
The answer is that husbands get taken for granted. Even though the waitress has never received ANYTHING from people she is serving, nevertheless, she is willing to do anything within reason to please. Her patience and ever present smile are remarkable. Why? For 10 dollars an hour and a hope for a generous tip.
A wife, in contrast, is far less patient and respectful to her husband who has done so much for her over time.
Two notes:
1] Some wives ARE friendly and eager to please their husbands and do so with a smile and with love. But some - don't.
2] A husband should treat his wife as if he is HER waiter, be patient and eager to please. It is a two way street.
All I described is the minimum. Above and beyond bring friendly and cordial, there must be a feeling and expressions of love and devotion far beyond what any waitress should or could give.
The fundamental level is never to speak disrespectfully and always to be warm and friendly. On top of that there must be love and a knowledge that this is one's eternal partner.
זה כל התורה - ואידך פירושא זיל וגמור!
