Chabadniks don't take their own personal needs into account. It is allllll about fulfilling a higher purpose. They go ANYWHERE in the world in order to spread dvar Hashem [and dvar ha-rebbe] with no regard to their personal comfort. No mikva for the wife within four hours, no kosher food available locally, no social structure of friends and family, no schools for the children, no money etc. etc. But they go - for life.
I am not a Chabad-nik because I am not nearly on their level. But I am in awe of them. [There are one or two other reasons I am not a Chabad-nik but that would cause us to miss the main point I am trying to make.]
So what is the בכן [as the Rebbe would say]? What can we take away from all of this?
Try to be a LITTLE moser nefesh. Just a small percentage of what they do. And bi-simcha without complaining. To learn a bit more. To give a little more to tzedaka. To do a little more chesed. You don't have to change your life radically - just mildly. Sacrifice for your spouse. Happily. Because that is your job in life. A woman was created to be an עזר כנגדו. Forget about fulfilling ALL of your creature comforts. Think about what you can do to be a better wife. Hashem won't take you to task for not being self-absorbed at your husband's expense. But He might well show you who your husband could have been, what heights he could have reached - had you helped him. And the same applies to husbands. Nobody needs your time and good heart like your wife. So share generously.
Think of Chabad Shlichim and thereby improve your Shalom Bayis!
