The Babylon Bee
The CDC now recommends for everyone to stay home and avoid going out as much as possible. Despite this, reports are that G-d is breaking quarantine and going absolutely everywhere.
Hospitals, nursing homes, prisons -- He is everywhere. He is reportedly visiting everyone and checking on everyone in this time of need and not using any amount of social distancing. G-d is said to be following the absolute best practices, though, and is at no risk of making people sick but only making people better.
“We have absolutely no control over the guy,” said CDC spokesman Jim Wells, “which is extremely frustrating. We want to remind you, though, that you’re not G-d, so please stay put in small groups.”
God is also reportedly trying to get people to stop hoarding toilet paper and instead "hoard" mitzvos, learn lots of Torah and say Tehillim.
#ainodmilvado
