When you refer to other gods, should you say "elohim" or "elokim"?
[I always said "elohim" and this was a chiddush for me]
Sunday, August 2, 2015
Kavod Of The Hosts And Kavod Of Torah
Continuing where we left off...
תנו רבנן כשנכנסו רבותינו לכרם ביבנה, היו שם רבי יהודה ורבי יוסי ור' נחמיה ור' אליעזר בנו של רבי יוסי הגלילי. פתחו כולם בכבוד אכסניא ודרשו פתח רבי יהודה ראש המדברים בכל מקום בכבוד תורה ודרש. [ברכות ס"ג]
מתוך שהנטיה לאחת הקצוות אינה נכונה, ע"כ ראוי לחבב ישובו של עולם והעוסקים בו מתוך שעל ידם יוכלו להחזיק מעמד ת"ח מאירי אור התורה. ולמען הרם את ערך התורה עצמה מצד אורה וקדושתה בלב עוסקיה, לבל יטה לבם לפרוש גם הם לעסוק בדרך ארץ, ולהסתפק בהחזקת ידי אחרים צריך לדרוש בכבוד תורה. הנטי' לישוב העולם צריכה להתעורר ע"פ הנרדפים והחלושים, שעלולים להיות נוטים מצד קשי יומם אל קצה המיאוס בעניני העולם. ע"כ ראוי להם להעריך את ערך ישובו של עולם, כשמוצא את תעודתו, בצירוף התורה המתקיימת על ידו. ולעומת זה המוצלחים, שזכו גם לשלות עוה"ז, יוכלו להמשך אחרי עסקים חומריים של עושר וכבוד, ראוי להם לחזק נפשם ונפש בני גילם ביתרון התורה ורוממותה. ע"כ בהיות אז בעת הרעה ההיא, ששלטה רומי בעברת זדון על ישראל, כמסופר בשבתי כלל החכמים נרדפים, דרשו דוקא בכבוד אכסניא, לעורר לבם לאהבת הבריות ומניעת ההתרחקות מאנשי המעשה ובעלי הרכוש. ור"י שהתעלה לגדולה ע"פ המלכות, ראה ראשית לו לחבב ביותר את הצד הרוחני, את אור התורה עצמו, לבל ימשך במאומה אחרי גדולתו וכבודו מעמלה של תורה כרגע, כי כל חפצים לא ישוו בה. [עין איה אות של"ג]
Our Rabbis have taught: When our teachers entered the vineyard at Yavne, there were among them R. Judah and R. Jose and R. Nehemiah and R. Eliezer the son of R. Yosi the Galilean. They all spoke in honor of hospitality and expounded texts [for that purpose]. R. Yeudah, the head of the speakers in every place, spoke in honor of the Torah and expounded the text...
Three Questions:
Why did the Rabbis find it necessary to begin by speaking in the honor of the hospitality?
What has that to do with the fact that they were in Yavneh?
Why did Rebbe Yehuda find it necessary to start with psukim that talk about kavod hatorah??
One must find a balance between stressing the importance of settling the world, working, developing technology etc. etc. and at the same time not forgetting to elevate the status of those who learn Torah so that they should not G-d forbid leave their studies and enter the secular world.
When people are suffering, poor, have enemies and are being pursued, they are liable to feel revolted by matters of this world. This world has given him a "bad break" and he is thus liable to negate its value. That is why such people must remind themselves and others of the importance of involvement in this worldly matters when they are combined with Torah and spirituality.
When a people are successful in this world and live lives of serenity and financial stability, they must go to the other side and emphasize the importance of Torah study and spiritual achievements.
This gemara is describing a period when the Jews were being pursued by the Romans. This was a time when they were liable to downplay the importance of engagement in the world. That was why it was so important to to be "דורש בכבוד אכסניא"- Speak in honor of those giving them hospitality. This world also has a place, even when under duress.
Rav Yehuda was a very successful person. He had been elevated to a place of honor by the authorities [see Shabbos 33] and was called ראש המדברים בכל מקום - the head speaker in every place. He was liable to forget the primacy of Torah due to his this-worldly success. He thus felt compelled to emphasize the importance of Torah.
לזכות גילה שושנה בת נעכא גיטל לברכה והצלחה וכל טוב סלה!
Gullivers Travels
From my diaries...
Last night after 1am I was stuck on the side of a dark highway. The last bus had already gone so I called a taxi but alas - my request was denied ["we don't have any in that area" beep, beep, beep].
One good thing about living in Manhattan is that the trains go 24/7. But I decided that I would rather be stuck on a dark highway in Eretz Yisrael than be on the "C" train taking me back to my destination in New York.
After 2000 years of exile from the land we can't let little things bother us. We just have to thank Hashem- ושבו בנים לגבולם!
Last night after 1am I was stuck on the side of a dark highway. The last bus had already gone so I called a taxi but alas - my request was denied ["we don't have any in that area" beep, beep, beep].
One good thing about living in Manhattan is that the trains go 24/7. But I decided that I would rather be stuck on a dark highway in Eretz Yisrael than be on the "C" train taking me back to my destination in New York.
After 2000 years of exile from the land we can't let little things bother us. We just have to thank Hashem- ושבו בנים לגבולם!
No Ego
Continuing the line of thought from a recent post....
To what extent is a man obliged to teach his son Torah? — Said Rav Yeudah in Shmuel's name: E.g., [a person who once lived named] Zevulun, the son of Dan, whom his grandfather taught Mikra [Tanach], Mishnah, Talmud, halachos and aggados. An objection is raised: If he [his father] taught him Mikra, he need not teach him Mishnah; whereon Rava said: Mikra means Torah [We see that it is not necessary ot teach more than Mikra unlike what Rav Yehuda said]? — Like Zevulun thhe son of Dan, yet not altogether so. Like Zevulun the son Dan, whom his grandfather taught: yet not altogether so, for whereas there [he was taught] Mikra, Mishnah, Talmud, halachos and aggados, here [i.e., as a general rule] Mikra alone [suffices].
[Kiddushin 30b]
There is a huge problem here. We are talking about how a fellow named Zevulun ben Dan was taught by his grandfather. So we know his name, his fathers name but NOT his grandfather's name. Apparently, the most important person here is the grandfather for he is the teacher, so why is his name omitted??
From here we see that a good teacher is "nameless" i.e. ego-less. It is not about him at all but about the success of the student. The grandfather's name isn't mentioned to teach us this lesson.
Rebbi, teacher, guide, remove your ego. It is about the person receiving - not you.
[Heard from Mori Vi-rabi the Rebbe Shlita]
To what extent is a man obliged to teach his son Torah? — Said Rav Yeudah in Shmuel's name: E.g., [a person who once lived named] Zevulun, the son of Dan, whom his grandfather taught Mikra [Tanach], Mishnah, Talmud, halachos and aggados. An objection is raised: If he [his father] taught him Mikra, he need not teach him Mishnah; whereon Rava said: Mikra means Torah [We see that it is not necessary ot teach more than Mikra unlike what Rav Yehuda said]? — Like Zevulun thhe son of Dan, yet not altogether so. Like Zevulun the son Dan, whom his grandfather taught: yet not altogether so, for whereas there [he was taught] Mikra, Mishnah, Talmud, halachos and aggados, here [i.e., as a general rule] Mikra alone [suffices].
[Kiddushin 30b]
There is a huge problem here. We are talking about how a fellow named Zevulun ben Dan was taught by his grandfather. So we know his name, his fathers name but NOT his grandfather's name. Apparently, the most important person here is the grandfather for he is the teacher, so why is his name omitted??
From here we see that a good teacher is "nameless" i.e. ego-less. It is not about him at all but about the success of the student. The grandfather's name isn't mentioned to teach us this lesson.
Rebbi, teacher, guide, remove your ego. It is about the person receiving - not you.
[Heard from Mori Vi-rabi the Rebbe Shlita]
Learning How To Forgive
We will only begin to forgive when we can look upon the wrongdoers as ourselves, neither better nor worse. We need to remember that we coexist as mortals in the world, together, the wronged and the wrongdoer, and that, in our common humanity, the situation could readily be reversed.
[Loving Each Other page 97]
[Loving Each Other page 97]
Saturday, August 1, 2015
Three Levels Of Human Interaction - Why People Don't Answer My Calls - Why I Don't Answer Theirs - Ego Gratification Vs. Ego Nullification
Why do we take an interest in another human being? In almost every instance and with almost every person the reason interest is taken in another human being is because they full a NEED or a WANT of ours.
To wit:
A doctor needs his patients for his livelihood. That is why he is interested in them.
When you walk into a store and a friendly lady greets you with a cheerful "good morning, may I help you" it is because she needs to earn a living and if she doesn't do her job [which includes offering assistance] then she will lose it. Ironically, you are only interesting because of what you can do for HER.
When you go to a restaurant the waiter interests you because he will bring you dinner. The moment you have your food you want him to go away until you need him for something else.
When you have a shyla to ask the rabbi interests you because he is fulfilling a need. After the need is fulfilled he stops being interesting. Shul boards hire and fire rabbis right and left. As long as they feel that the rabbi is fulfilling their needs and wants they keep him aboard. When they feel he is no longer doing what they desire - out.
When I am at the kotel or near a shteibel and people anxiously approach me and ask if I can join their minyan it is clearly not about me. They are only looking at me because I am male and over 13. The MOMENT I say that I already davened they immediately lose interest in me.
A person will befriend someone because he fulfills a human need to have friends. If he is no longer perceived as a good friend then he will no longer be on his former friend's radar.
If a single boy sees a girl over the mechitza chuckling away and she also happens to be beautiful - he will inquire about her. He is interested. She can potentially fulfill many of his basic needs. If he finds out that she is engaged - or that he wasn't looking clearly and it was his sister, then he immediately loses interest because she is no longer marriage property.
And so on and so forth.
I am not arguing that in every example I gave there is something wrong or unethical that is transpiring. Just that most of why we are interested in other people is because somehow it relates to the quality of OUR lives and has NOTHING to do with the other person.
When a beloved spouse of 40 years passes on, it happens quite often that the widow/er will remarry a short time later. That is legitimate. But it shows that as long as the spouses filled their role, they were comitted to each other. Now that the relationship has ended he [i.e. the living one] can move on to someone else quite easily.
We human beings are naturally very self interested and self absorbed people. Almost all of our dealings with others center around a need or needs of our own. I often call people and they look at their called id and see that it is me. Sometimes they will answer, quite often, they will not [and not return the call either]. What is the explanation? It is very simple - when they see my number they subconsciously ask themselves "Can he fill a need or want of mine or not?" The need might be to have a friendly conversation, the need might be to fulfill their curiosity as to why I am calling, the need might be to show me respect and answer the phone or that they have been meaning to speak to me about something and now they will have me on the line. But if they have no compelling reason to speak to me - and maybe they don't even like me or have a want or need NOT to speak to me then they won't pick up. Truth be told, I make the same "cheshbon" at times. I see the name and do a quick scan in my mind if it is worth my time and effort to pick up. I am not proud of it and find it quite disgusting but that is the nature of the human animal. If he is calling and wants to speak with me - then what does it matter whether I want to speak to him? He wants to speak to me and morally that should obligate me to pick up the phone [or at least call the person back when I have more free time]. But the reality is that my self interest always plays a key role.
There is a higher level where someone has a need to do for others. If you have a healthy drive to give tzedaka, then you will seek out the poor person. But this is also because he fills a need of yours. This is a higher level need than what we have been discussing until now. This is not using somebody else in order to take or in order to give with the ultimate purpose of taking in mind but "using" the other person in order to give altruistically.
A doctor may seek out patients because he loves to heal just for the sake of helping people feel well and mitigating suffering. This is a higher form of giving but again, the doctors personal need to give is being fulfilled.
The Rebbi may want to teach the students Torah and have the students in mind and not be doing it for the money or prestige but to give and help others grow. But very often this is the outgrowth of the Rebbis personal need to give. A higher level of taking but also taking in a sense. The other person is a means to fulfill MY needs. I need to teach and give and this student is the canvass on which I paint my picture.
A parent gives to a child but only because it is HIS chiild and he feels a PERSONAL connection. That is why on his own child's wedding he will spend 50k but when someone asks him for money for someone else wedding he may [or may not] give him 18 dollars. What is the difference? They both need to get married so why the huge gap? The answer is that I have a NEED and WANT to provide for my own child but have no such inclinations towards other people's children. They are not MY problem, hence I am not interested in them. If I found out that the person at the door saved my life when I was seven I will then give a huge check because I found my self interest.
The lower level [with taking in mind as the ultimate goal] which characterizes most interactions is necessary [we are but human] however must be minimized in every way. Try to constantly remind yourself that this person doesn't exist for you. He has his own independent purpose in life.
Th higher level is definitely something to strive for. Namely, viewing other people as the potential receptors of your kindness. It could be a kind word, a smile, a check, a ride or any chesed for that matter. See the world as a springboard for you to fulfill your purpose as being a giver.
But their is yet a higher madreiga. G-d is on this madreiga. Give just in order to give. NOT because you have a "need" to give. Not because you are "חייב" and want to be "יוצא". Erase the "me" from the equation. It is not about you at all. It is so completely NOT about you. Every other person [or at least Jew] on earth HAS NOT LESS of a tachlis in life than you do. They are not hear just to help you fulfill your tachlis but have an independent existence. In Chasidus this is called ביטול.
It is a BEAUTIFUL [which is actually very close to the word "bittul. Bittul -Beautiful. Close] middah where the EGO IS NULLIFIED. Hashem has no ego. It is not about His needs at all because he needs nothing.
If you have reached the higher level where you seek out others to do good on their behalf and not to get anything from them in return but because you have a need to do good - then I am a great admirer of yours.
If you do good for others without your own personal satisfaction in mind at all but purely for the sake of the other - then I am your chossid and would be honored to roll around in the dust of your feet....:-)
To wit:
A doctor needs his patients for his livelihood. That is why he is interested in them.
When you walk into a store and a friendly lady greets you with a cheerful "good morning, may I help you" it is because she needs to earn a living and if she doesn't do her job [which includes offering assistance] then she will lose it. Ironically, you are only interesting because of what you can do for HER.
When you go to a restaurant the waiter interests you because he will bring you dinner. The moment you have your food you want him to go away until you need him for something else.
When you have a shyla to ask the rabbi interests you because he is fulfilling a need. After the need is fulfilled he stops being interesting. Shul boards hire and fire rabbis right and left. As long as they feel that the rabbi is fulfilling their needs and wants they keep him aboard. When they feel he is no longer doing what they desire - out.
When I am at the kotel or near a shteibel and people anxiously approach me and ask if I can join their minyan it is clearly not about me. They are only looking at me because I am male and over 13. The MOMENT I say that I already davened they immediately lose interest in me.
A person will befriend someone because he fulfills a human need to have friends. If he is no longer perceived as a good friend then he will no longer be on his former friend's radar.
If a single boy sees a girl over the mechitza chuckling away and she also happens to be beautiful - he will inquire about her. He is interested. She can potentially fulfill many of his basic needs. If he finds out that she is engaged - or that he wasn't looking clearly and it was his sister, then he immediately loses interest because she is no longer marriage property.
And so on and so forth.
I am not arguing that in every example I gave there is something wrong or unethical that is transpiring. Just that most of why we are interested in other people is because somehow it relates to the quality of OUR lives and has NOTHING to do with the other person.
When a beloved spouse of 40 years passes on, it happens quite often that the widow/er will remarry a short time later. That is legitimate. But it shows that as long as the spouses filled their role, they were comitted to each other. Now that the relationship has ended he [i.e. the living one] can move on to someone else quite easily.
We human beings are naturally very self interested and self absorbed people. Almost all of our dealings with others center around a need or needs of our own. I often call people and they look at their called id and see that it is me. Sometimes they will answer, quite often, they will not [and not return the call either]. What is the explanation? It is very simple - when they see my number they subconsciously ask themselves "Can he fill a need or want of mine or not?" The need might be to have a friendly conversation, the need might be to fulfill their curiosity as to why I am calling, the need might be to show me respect and answer the phone or that they have been meaning to speak to me about something and now they will have me on the line. But if they have no compelling reason to speak to me - and maybe they don't even like me or have a want or need NOT to speak to me then they won't pick up. Truth be told, I make the same "cheshbon" at times. I see the name and do a quick scan in my mind if it is worth my time and effort to pick up. I am not proud of it and find it quite disgusting but that is the nature of the human animal. If he is calling and wants to speak with me - then what does it matter whether I want to speak to him? He wants to speak to me and morally that should obligate me to pick up the phone [or at least call the person back when I have more free time]. But the reality is that my self interest always plays a key role.
There is a higher level where someone has a need to do for others. If you have a healthy drive to give tzedaka, then you will seek out the poor person. But this is also because he fills a need of yours. This is a higher level need than what we have been discussing until now. This is not using somebody else in order to take or in order to give with the ultimate purpose of taking in mind but "using" the other person in order to give altruistically.
A doctor may seek out patients because he loves to heal just for the sake of helping people feel well and mitigating suffering. This is a higher form of giving but again, the doctors personal need to give is being fulfilled.
The Rebbi may want to teach the students Torah and have the students in mind and not be doing it for the money or prestige but to give and help others grow. But very often this is the outgrowth of the Rebbis personal need to give. A higher level of taking but also taking in a sense. The other person is a means to fulfill MY needs. I need to teach and give and this student is the canvass on which I paint my picture.
A parent gives to a child but only because it is HIS chiild and he feels a PERSONAL connection. That is why on his own child's wedding he will spend 50k but when someone asks him for money for someone else wedding he may [or may not] give him 18 dollars. What is the difference? They both need to get married so why the huge gap? The answer is that I have a NEED and WANT to provide for my own child but have no such inclinations towards other people's children. They are not MY problem, hence I am not interested in them. If I found out that the person at the door saved my life when I was seven I will then give a huge check because I found my self interest.
The lower level [with taking in mind as the ultimate goal] which characterizes most interactions is necessary [we are but human] however must be minimized in every way. Try to constantly remind yourself that this person doesn't exist for you. He has his own independent purpose in life.
Th higher level is definitely something to strive for. Namely, viewing other people as the potential receptors of your kindness. It could be a kind word, a smile, a check, a ride or any chesed for that matter. See the world as a springboard for you to fulfill your purpose as being a giver.
But their is yet a higher madreiga. G-d is on this madreiga. Give just in order to give. NOT because you have a "need" to give. Not because you are "חייב" and want to be "יוצא". Erase the "me" from the equation. It is not about you at all. It is so completely NOT about you. Every other person [or at least Jew] on earth HAS NOT LESS of a tachlis in life than you do. They are not hear just to help you fulfill your tachlis but have an independent existence. In Chasidus this is called ביטול.
It is a BEAUTIFUL [which is actually very close to the word "bittul. Bittul -Beautiful. Close] middah where the EGO IS NULLIFIED. Hashem has no ego. It is not about His needs at all because he needs nothing.
If you have reached the higher level where you seek out others to do good on their behalf and not to get anything from them in return but because you have a need to do good - then I am a great admirer of yours.
If you do good for others without your own personal satisfaction in mind at all but purely for the sake of the other - then I am your chossid and would be honored to roll around in the dust of your feet....:-)
A Protest
I have a friend who is a very sweet and kind hearted person and a talmid chochom. He decided that the time has come to leave kollel and enter the world of chinuch. He related to me that he interviewed at numerous yeshivas and they told him "we will get back to you".
They didn't.
So they both lied and showed him disrespect.
So I would like to use this forum to "make a מחאה" [protest] over the lack of respect shown to a talmid chochom. [He told the story to me without any bitterness. He just sort of chuckled]. When someone needs a job and is awaiting a reply and none is forthcoming even though it takes exactly 15 seconds to politely email him with a negative response - it hurts.
May we always be zocheh to treat every human being with respect - especially talmidei chachomim.
Happy ending - He was hired and will be teaching this coming Elul. B"H!
They didn't.
So they both lied and showed him disrespect.
So I would like to use this forum to "make a מחאה" [protest] over the lack of respect shown to a talmid chochom. [He told the story to me without any bitterness. He just sort of chuckled]. When someone needs a job and is awaiting a reply and none is forthcoming even though it takes exactly 15 seconds to politely email him with a negative response - it hurts.
May we always be zocheh to treat every human being with respect - especially talmidei chachomim.
Happy ending - He was hired and will be teaching this coming Elul. B"H!
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