OUCH! And What To Do

Have you noticed that my blogs have been a tad more serious recently? I believe that they have been! So I will let you in. I have had a very emotionally turmoil-filled week and that has made me more serious than normal. I have been deeply hurt by two sweet Jews. One whom I consider myself very close to, so I know that this person is sweet. The other I barely know but assume he is sweet as I assume of all people. Sweet until proven bitter. [This would be called in Talmudic terminology "chezkas mesikus":).]

It all started on Thursday night when I received a phone call from someone I know telling me something which literally made me shake for about a half hour in addition to causing my head to ache. So I took acamol [tylenol with an Israeli accent] for the headache but the shakes continued. Eventually I calmed down Baruch Hashem. However, there has not been the happy ending I was hoping for.

Why am I telling you this?? So that you should call or email me asking what happened and trying to be there for me. NO!! I have a trusted friend to whom I poured my heart out, so there is nothing left to pour :). I will be fine bez"h. So why am I telling you this?

Everybody has emotional pain from time to time so I thought it would be helpful to mention some coping strategies that might help you in a time of need.

1] Listen to music and dance. Even with yourself. I personally find it extremely difficult to be sad when I hear music. As I am typing this I am listening to "yidlive.com" and feel like dancing [but can't do that as I type]. It lifts the spirits.

2] Whatever happens, it is not the end of the world. If it were, you wouldn't be upset about it because you wouldn't be here. Life goes on and there will be many, many happy times. "Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day, or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever." Lance Armstrong

3] Pain builds character! "Without pain, there would be no suffering, without suffering we would never learn from our mistakes. To make it right, pain and suffering is the key to all windows, without it, there is no way of life." When you are coasting through life you can't grow nearly as much as when dealing with adversity.

4] DON'T repress the pain. Even if you are a guy. Of course it's not macho to admit that you were emotionally hurt, but you were. So admit it!! You will feel much better.

5] Talk about it with a friend.

6] Don't dwell on it too much. Do something else. A person shouldn't obsessively wallow in despair.

7] Reflect on the lessons learned from the experience that will benefit you and others in the future.

8] REMEMBER! Everything that happens is from Hashem in order to help you in some way. It is very hard for people to accept this idea because when other people are involved they have free will and THEY hurt you - not Hashem! True, they have free will but at the end of the day nobody can do anything to you unless Hashem allows it. So thank Hashem for this experience which hurts but you know that it is coming from a loving father. [Note: Number 8 is harder than 1-7. But we still have to do it!!]

9] Gee whiz, it could be worse. I have never heard of a person in this world who was in a situation that couldn't theoretically be worse.

10] Focus on all of your blessings. They are many and shouldn't be forgotten in the mess.

There is much more to write on this topic but I will keep it short and allow my sweetest friends to add to the list.

LOVE AND BLESSINGS TO ALL!!:):)