The Indescribable Pain Of Grief And Loss

“Can I see another's woe, and not be in sorrow, too? Can I see another's grief, and not seek for kind relief?”


William Blake




“No one feels another's grief, no one understands another's joy. People imagine they can reach one another. In reality they only pass each other by.”


Franz Schubert





I ponder the feelings of the family and friends of Asher Strobel who just last year was a first year student in our Yeshiva and now is no longer amongst the living. Sudden. No prior warning. Just like that.



I have Baruch Hashem never experienced such a loss and pray that I never do. But I must feel on some level the pain of those whose sense of loss and grief will continue to haunt them as long as they inhabit this planet.



What are words one can say to comfort them? I fear that words at this time are hollow.



Perhaps though the words of this poem:



“You can shed tears that he is gone, or you can smile because he has lived.



You can close your eyes and pray that he'll come back, or you can open your eyes and see all he's left.



Your heart can be empty because you can't see him, or you can be full of the love you shared.



You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday, or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.



You can remember her only that he is gone, or you can cherish his memory and let it live on.



You can cry and close your mind, be empty and turn your back.



Or you can do what he'd want: smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”





No.



Not enough.



We must go back into our tradition and remember that only the Source of all consolation can cure the pain.



המקום ינחם אתכם בתוך שאר אבלי ציון וירושלים