You Are A Strong Number Two

Dedicated to my wife Necha-Gittel on our 20th anniversary. 20 years ago I was a student in Yeshivat Hakotel, who sported colored shits, sandals and a tchup. She was a first year Philosophy/English Linguistics student in Bar Ilan University. Ohhhhhh, how far we have come. I was concerned that she wasn't frum enough and she had other concerns about marrying me [a lifetime of poor humor??]. In the end - she turned out soooooo frum. She is always either taking care of the kids, the house or most likely - davening and saying tehillim. Thankfully, when I leave the house without my hat and jacket she lets me go [not before telling me that my shirt is untucked in the back]. As for her concerns about me - I hope that they never constituted a problem.

We traveled the path of chasidus together and found Hashem through that Avodah. Hashem blessed us with 6 beautiful children and many MANY challenges to help us grow:-). I will not state all of her praise and suffice with one aspect. In all of the years of our marriage that I have been learning Torah and we had very little money on which to subsist - she never ONCE suggested that I leave my gemara and get a job. That is a testimony to the high regard in which she holds limud hatorah and my own personal avodas Hashem. May we see nachas from our children for many years to come and may she see her husband and children constantly shteiging in learning and leaving the olam ha-zeh matters to those who are good at them.   

Myse - A dedicated student of Rav Soloveitchik NEVER missed a shiur. Over the summer, Rav Soloveitchik would be home in Boston and the devoted students would go there to hear him give shiur. This student had just gotten married but nevertheless made the trek to Boston to hear his beloved Rebbi give shiur.

Rav Soloveitchik asked him where his new bride was. He said that she is back at home in New York. Rav Soloveitchik was incensed. "You go back to her and don't return unless she is with you". The talmid complied and went home and returned with his kallah.

He remarked to one of his friends that he couldn't understand why his Rebbi was so adamant. "I told her that besides the Rov, she is the most important person in my life..."

Li-myse - A wife generally represents for her husband a fulfillment of his physical and material needs. A Rebbi is the fulfillment of his spiritual yearnings and strivings. A person who innocently tells his wife [I don't recommend it...] that she is a strong number two in his life is saying that ruchniyus is the central and primary component in his life. [Of course, a wife is also a spiritual being and one can only reach shleimus when married. But in the day-to-day, a wife is usually associated with the physical - meals, clean clothing, child rearing etc. vi-hamyvin yavin].