Many mussar sefarim emphasize the importance of breaking one's excessive self-love and egocentricity. There is definitely room for that because we are generally overly in love with ourselves. HOWEVER, there is a higher level where one's self love is not a contradiction to his love and care for other beings. On the contrary - his sense of self is so elevated that the more he loves himself, the more he loves others. The more he amplifies and expands his כמוך, the more he feels the ואהבת לרעך.
The ultimate goal is not to SQUASH ones nature but to flow along with it and elevate it to the highest plateau. The premise of this insight is that our souls are part of Hashem - חלק אלו-ה ממעל - and automatically we want in our deepest selves is what is good and holy.
I think we can all identify with the feeling that negating and nullifying oneself is often emotionally and spiritually weakening and desiccating. Hashem wants to empower us and that is accomplished when we expand our sense of self and love of self to include all of creation.
This lesson applies to all of our כוחות הנפש. We were given talents and capabilities for a reason - to use them in the service of Hashem.
We were also given a libido for a reason. There is a time and place to sublimate it [most times and most places, in fact]. But ultimately it is to be elevated and purified in being the agent in creating a loving and peaceful home.
ודוק מאד כי לא אוכל עתה להאריך יותר.