In Eretz Yisrael, there are 2 basic approaches to marrying off children.
Generally, in the non-charedi world [which is the world I was in when I got married] the custom is that if the parents have the means and have the desire, then they help their children financially. If they don't have the means or choose to keep their money for themselves, then the kids must manage on their own.
In the Ashkenazi Charedi world [where I find myself now] the approach is that you help the children whether you have the means or not. Otherwise, your child will not get married because nobody will make a shidduch with you. It is that simple.
Each approach has its pluses and minuses. Fortunately, we don't have to decide which is better because we really don't get to choose. Whatever community you are in will determine what path you take.
Rav Chaim Kreiswurth [the great gaon and rov of Antwerp] was once sick and went to the Steipler for a bracha. The Steipler asked him why the mishna says that we are rewarded in this world and the next for bikkur cholim, hachnosos kalla and halvayas mames - visting the ill, helping a couple get married and attending a funeral. It would have been more appropriate to place the mitzva of attending a funeral immediately after the mitzva of visiting the ill. Why does the mishna "interrupt" with the mitzva of helping a couple get married?
Answered the Steipler: If a person want to push away death then the best way is to involve himself in the mitzva of helping couples get married....
Rav Kreiswurth took his holy words to heart and spent the next many years of his life giving financial aid to young married couples in need.
Fortunate is he who gets to perform the precious mitzva of hachnosos kalla. יהא חלקי עמהם - My portion should be among them. And, so I bless you - should yours...
