Elul is all about change. We all have free choice which enables us to change. It seems to me that most people stay more or less the same throughout their lives. I observe people [and myself] for a year, 5 years, ten years, twenty years, thirty years, forty years [I am getting oooolllddd] and their speech and behavioral patterns are quite predictable - for better or for ... yet better:-). We have the capacity to actively choose but we don't exercise that right.
The science is that we are all like pre-programmed computers. Our genetics, family, experiences [including our 9th month stay in utero], education, society etc. etc. have all combined to condition us to think, speak and act in certain ways. It is imprinted in the brain. This stays quite stagnant for life. People will sometimes quote me to myself. I sometimes have no recollection of saying that but it always rings true - sounds like something I would say. Why? Because I am a conditioned ape.
Now here is the good part: Some of our conditioning is WONDERFUL. We SHOULD, for example, feel guilty when we do something wrong. We SHOULD feel compassion when we see poor person. We SHOULD feel angry when we witness injustice. Some of our instinctive behaviors are great. But there are many patterns in our lives that MUST be altered.
"My mother/wife/child presses my buttons and I lose it". Presses your buttons? What are you - a machine? "It drives me crazy when ...." Who says that it has to drive you crazy?? "I have no patience for...." By golly - get some patience!! "It makes me really depressed when ..." How can anything "make" you depressed??
For some it is tardiness. For others, laziness. Others, carelessness. Some have obsessive thoughts. Others are consumed by guilt for things of which they often aren't even guilty. Many people lose their morals when it comes to money. There are no small number of people who are addicted to harmful things like the Internet, drugs, alcohol, gambling etc. etc.
WE CAN CHOOSE TO BE DIFFERENT!!! But it is a conscious choice and takes hard work to make change last. The best time to start is .....
NOWWWWWW!!!!!
"ועתה אם שמוע תשמעו בקולי" [שמות י"ט ה'].
