Tuesday, February 28, 2023

Haman And His Sons Were Just "Hangin' Out"

מה העסק הגדול במגילה על אופן המתת מרדכי ע"י תלייה ואח"כ תליית המן ובניו? 

אומר הרמב"ן [דברים כ"א כ"ב]: "ועל דרך הפשט יאמר: כי יהיה באיש חטא גדול שראוי להמיתו עליו, ולתלותו על העץ לגודל חטאו, אף על פי כן לא תלין נבלתו על העץ, כי הארור מכל האדם והמקולל בהם הוא התלוי, אין בכל המיתות מיתה מנוולת ובזויה כמוה." 

הרי שאין מיתה מנוולת ובזויה כזו ולכן יעצה זרש לתלות את מרדכי על העץ ובסוף "והשבותו לו גמולו בראשו" והמן ובניו קיבלו ביזיון זה על בשרם. 

כפעולת נגד, למדנו בגמרא [ונפסק ברמב"ם "ואפילו כהנים בעבודתן מבטלין עבודתן ובאין לשמוע מקרא מגילה. וכן מבטלים תלמוד תורה לשמוע מקרא מגילה קל וחומר לשאר מצות של תורה שכולן נדחין מפני מקרא מגילה. ואין לך דבר שנדחה מקרא מגילה מפניו חוץ ממת מצוה שאין לו קוברין שהפוגע בו קוברו תחלה ואחר כך קורא"] שאין מצוה שנדחה  מקרא מגילה מפניה חוץ ממת מצוה. פירוש: כבוד הבריות המתבטא בקבורת מת מצוה הוא הוא האיזון לחוסר כבוד הבריות שהיה צריך לבוא לידי ביטוי בתליית המן. ובדומה למצוות משלוח מנות, מתנות לאביונים ול"גדולה לגימה שמקרבת את הלבבות" שמהווים פעולת נגד לאזן את השנאה הגדולה לעמלק. 

לכל רגש שלילי צריך למצוא ולהפעיל רגש חיובי כדי לשמור על האיזון הנכון בין הרגשות. 

[נתעוררתי לזה ע"י לימוד משותף עם ידיד נפשי הר"ר אהרן פייט שליט"א בספר ביאורים במועדים של הג"ר יוסף פרבשטיין זצ"ל]


השגת יראת שמים

"אִם־תְּבַקְשֶׁ֥נָּה כַכָּ֑סֶף וכַמַּטְמוֹנִ֥ים תַּחְפְּשֶֽׂנָּה אָ֗ז תָּ֭בִין יִרְאַ֣ת יְהֹוָ֑ה ודַ֖עַת אֱלֹהִ֣ים תִּמְצָֽא".

עמלק מוגדר כ"ולא ירא אלהים". אם נשאל אדם אם הוא ירא שמים, יענה "בודאי!". ויתכן מאד וטעות בידו מתוך חוסר הבנה במהות יראת שמים. יראת שמים רק מתחילים להבין אם מבקשים ומחפשים אותה כמו שהחברה מבקשת כסף - דהיינו בצורה כמעט אובססיבית כאשר העיסוק הזה הוא מרכז חייו.  

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הסימן לדעת אם יש יראה מבואר בפסוק [דברים י יב] ועתה ישראל מה ה' אלוקיך שואל מעמך כי אם ליראה את ה' אלוקיך ללכת ככל דרכיו ולאהבה אותו כו' לשמור את מצות ה' ואת חוקתיו אשר אנוכי מצוך היום. 

שואלים כולם, כתוב כי אם ליראה והוי מיעוט? ביאר המשגיח יראה זה השורש ואם יש יראה אמיתית זה מביא את האדם ללכת בדרכי ה' ולאהבה אותו וכו' זה הסימן! 

צער האמהות

שמואל התריס באגג "כאשר שכלה נשים חרבך כן תשכל מנשים אמך" [הפטרת זכור]. מה ענינו של שכול האמהות לכאן? 

כלום לא די ברציחת האנשים? מה מקום יש להזכיר כאן את שכול הנשים? 

ללמדך כשעמלק מבצע את השחתתו פניו מועדות לא רק אל דמם של נרצח אלא לא פחות מזה להרהורי צערן של אמותיהן. עמלק חפץ בשכול של האמהות כמו בדמם של בניהן. 

נורא ואיום. 

ואת הרע חייבים לשנוא. 

ונוסיף גם לרבות שונאינו העכשוויים במזרח התיכון מבצעי הטרור. 

Kyrie Kyrie Lamah Azavtani/ NBA Players Remain Silent



On Thursday, Nov. 3, the Brooklyn Nets suspended their star guard Kyrie Irving for refusing to apologize for peddling a film full of dangerous antisemitic tropes to his 4.6 million Twitter followers. The suspension was just the latest turn in a saga that began on Oct. 27.

In between sharing the video and being suspended, Irving first defended himself, then pledged $500,000 to combat hate and issued a statement that acknowledged the “the negative impact of his post.” Then NBA Commissioner Adam Silver, who is Jewish, weighed in and condemned Irving for failing to apologize. In what appeared to be the final straw for the Nets, during an interview Irving refused to apologize for his action nor did he denounce the film.

He’s now suspended for at least five games without pay.

However, just hours after the announcement of the suspension, Irving posted a message on his Instagram account, where he conceded that the film "contained some false anti-Semitic statements, narratives, and languages that were untrue and offensive to the Jewish Race/Religion." While he went on to directly apologize to "All Jewish families and Communities that are hurt and affected from my post," he indicated that there were parts of the documentary film with which he still agrees.

Here’s a breakdown of what we know happened, why it’s dangerous, and how the NBA, the Nets, and Irving responded.

What happened?

In September, Irving tweeted a video by far-right conspiracy theorist and provocateur Alex Jones. In the video, Jones claims secret societies or “occults” are in control of America, which Irving said he believes to be true. He clarified that he does not believe Jones’ false claims that the murder of 20 children at Sandy Hook Elementary School was staged, for which Jones now must pay $1 billion in damages.

It was a month later when, on Oct. 27, Irving shared the cover art of a book titled “Hebrews to Negroes: Wake Up Black America” and a link to a 2018 film by the same name. The film purports to uncover the biblical identity of Black people, or true identity of the Children of Israel, which Islam, Judaism, and Christianity have allegedly covered up for centuries.

That so-called cover-up is just one of the antisemitic conspiracy theories featured in the book and film and reminded many in the Jewish community of rapper and fashion mogul Kanye West’s antisemitic claim weeks earlier. The book also calls the six million Jews who were murdered by Nazis during the Holocaust one of the “five major falsehoods.”

Unpacking the antisemitism

Secret societies are often a dog whistle for the antisemitic trope of Jewish control. Jones’ claims that they rule the world behind the scenes draw from longstanding conspiracies and accusations that Jews are part of a secret cabal that controls the global world order. Read more about this antisemitic trope of Jewish control in AJC’s Translate Hate glossary of antisemitic terms.

Meanwhile, the book and film spotlighted by Irving echoed a long-standing antisemitic trope common among Black supremacists that claims “white” Jews are “not the real Jews.” Instead, these Black supremacists allege without evidence that Jews are imposters who have stolen the identity and “birthright” of Black people as the true chosen people of God.

According to this conspiracy theory, the descendants of the twelve Hebrew tribes of Israel settled across Africa after the destruction of the Kingdom of Israel and were eventually sold into slavery during the Atlantic slave trade.

Elements of Black supremacy can be found within Louis Farrakhan’s Nation of Islam and factions of the Black Hebrew Israelite movement. The latter inspired a violent rampage at a Jersey City, New Jersey, kosher supermarket in 2019 that took three lives. 

Furthermore, regarding the book’s labeling of the Holocaust as one of the five major falsehoods, denying the systematic destruction and genocide of the Jewish people or denying the scope of the brutalities committed by the Nazis and their collaborators during the Holocaust is antisemitic. Read more about the antisemitic trope of Holocaust denial in AJC’s Translate Hate glossary of antisemitic terms.

What did Kyrie Irving say when first confronted?

Initially, Irving showed no remorse, even after a group of fans sat courtside at the Barclays Center at the Nets’ Oct. 31 game against the Indiana Pacers wearing purple shirts emblazoned with the words: “Fight Antisemitism.”

“In terms of the backlash, we’re in 2022, history is not supposed to be hidden from anybody and I’m not a divisive person when it comes to religion, I embrace all walks of life,” he said. “So, the claims of antisemitism and who are the original chosen people of God and we go into these religious conversations and it’s a big no, no, I don’t live my life that way.”

Irving has since taken down the tweet in which he promoted the film. But in answer to reporters questions on Thursday, he doubled down: “I cannot be antisemitic if I know where I come from.”

Herein lies the Catch-22 for Jews. If they point something out as antisemitic and try to explain why it's offensive, conspiracy theorists will simply see it as proof that Jews are trying to silence their critics. If Jews turn the other way and let the prejudice go unchecked, it festers and spreads -- especially on social media.

How did the NBA and the Nets Respond to Irving?

Nets owner Joe Tsai initially tweeted: “I’m disappointed that Kyrie appears to support a film based on a book full of antisemitic disinformation. I want to sit down and make sure he understands this is hurtful to all of us, and as a man of faith, it is wrong to promote hate based on race, ethnicity or religion,” adding “This is bigger than basketball.”

The Nets’ Head Coach Steve Nash, who has since been let go by the team (though it is unclear what impact, if any, his handling of this situation had on that decision), appeared to give legitimacy to Irving’s actions by terming the situation a debate and calling for empathy for “every side.”

“There’s always an opportunity for us to grow and understand new perspectives,” he said. “I think the organization is trying to take that stance where we can communicate through this. And try to all come out in a better position and both more understanding and more empathy for every side of this debate and situation.”

Nevertheless, on Nov. 2, Irving along with the Brooklyn Nets and the Anti-Defamation League, issued a statement recognizing the “negative impact of my post.” Irving and the Nets pledged $500,000 toward “causes and organizations that work to eradicate hate and intolerance in our communities.” The statement did not include an apology.

That absence of an apology did not impress NBA Commissioner Adam Silver who said on Thursday he would be meeting with Irving himself next week.

AJC tweeted in response to the NBA’s statement “While we're glad the NBA Commissioner will be meeting with Kyrie next week to discuss his actions, Kyrie's latest comments show that, for him, a week is too long at this point. Kyrie needs to understand that hate is hate, no matter how you package it.”

AJC CEO Ted Deutch added, “After his non-apology yesterday, Kyrie had the chance to clear the air with a simple yes or no question: “do you have any antisemitic beliefs?” Kyrie refused to say no. This is an incredibly telling statement, and it's incredibly disappointing.”

Just hours after Irving’s Thursday refusal to answer whether he had any antisemitic beliefs, the Brooklyn Nets suspended their star player for at least five games. “This was not the first time he had the opportunity - but failed - to clarify,” read a statement from the team. “Such failure to disavow antisemitism when given a clear opportunity to do so is deeply disturbing, is against the values of our organization, and constitutes conduct detrimental to the team. Accordingly, we are of the view that he is currently unfit to be associated with the Brooklyn Nets. We have decided that Kyrie will serve a suspension without pay until he satisfies a series of objective remedial measures that address the harmful impact of his conduct and the suspension period served is no less than five games.”

Prominent voices in the sports world spoke out

Prior to the announcement by the Nets on Nov. 3, prominent voices in the sports world spoke out:

Former NBA star Amar'e Stoudemire, who is Jewish, demanded an apology: "You have to give an apology because if you’re going to promote a documentary that has false allegations inside of it, and you may not understand that these allegations that’s inside the documentary are false, okay, you made a mistake, right? So, apologize for it."

Basketball Hall of Famer Shaquille O’Neal: "The game we used to love, and we promote it brings people together. And it hurts me sometimes when we have to sit up here to talk about stuff that divides the game. Now we got to answer for what this idiot has done. I stand for equality of all people. I’ve always been like that. It don’t matter what religion. No matter where you’re from. … I don’t really want to sit up here and answer questions for what he’s done. If you’re looking at me, it’s my job to make people happy. I can’t speak for him or answer for what he’s doing. It’s obvious by his answers he doesn’t really care."

NBA analyst and Basketball Hall of Famer Charles Barkley: “I think he [Irving] should have been suspended,” he said, adding what he believes Adam Silver, the NBA commissioner who is Jewish, should say to Irving whose base salary this year is $36 million. “’You’re going to insult me, you have the right, but I have the right to say no. You’re not going to take my $40 million and insult my religion.’ I think the NBA, they have made a mistake.”

Former Indiana Pacer Reggie Miller: In a conversation with play-by-play broadcaster Brian Anderson and sideline reporter Jared Greenberg, Miller questioned why none of Irving’s peers has condemned the player’s actions. He commended players who raised their voices when private recordings of racist comments by Los Angeles Clippers owner Donald Sterling became public. Sterling was fined $2.5 million and banned from the NBA for life.

“In years past, this league has been great because the players have led the way and they have strong voices. When Donald Sterling stepped in it … our voices in the basketball community and our players were vocally strong in some type of discipline being handed down — or be gone.

“The players have dropped the ball on this case when it’s been one of their own. It’s been crickets. And it’s disappointing, because this league has been built on the shoulders of the players being advocates. Right is right and wrong is wrong. And if you’re gonna’ call out owners, and rightfully so, then you’ve got to call out players as well. You can’t go silent in terms of this for Kyrie Irving. I want to hear the players and their strong opinions as well.”

Prominent sportscaster Rich Eisen: In response to Irving’s retort that persistent questions from ESPN’s Nick Friedell were “dehumanizing” the basketball player.

“You’re dehumanizing me, Kyrie. I’m a Jewish man, descendant of people who died in gas chambers and got incinerated by Nazis. You’re dehumanizing me by putting on your platform a book and movie that is filled with antisemitic tropes that are designed or eventually lead to the dehumanization of me, and my children, and my ancestors who died because they were Jewish.”

נפש אחת

 ובכל יום ויום מרדכי מתהלך לפני החצר לדעת את שלום אסתר - איתא במדרש אסת"ר פרשה ו' אמר לו הקב"ה אתה דרשת שלום נפש אחת מישראל חייך סופך לדרוש שלום אומה שלמה. ביאר המשגיח, אנו סבורים שצריך להשיג דרגות גבוהות כדי להיות גואל ישראל אבל אינו כן עם מעשה אחד בשלמות אפשר לזכות. 

עם מי עשה מרדכי מעשה זה? עם אשתו שהיתה בת אחותו לחד מד"א. ומ"מ זכה כיון שהיה פה עדות של בוחן כליות ולב שהוא לא הלך לדרוש את שלומה בגלל שהיא קרובתו אלא דרש שלום נפש אחת מישראל ולכך נאמר לו סופך לדרוש שלום אומה שלמה. 

חיי צער

 וחיי צער תחיה - פעם ביאר המשגיח מה שאמרו באבות וחיי צער תחיה ובתורה אתה עמל שהכוונה היא שיהיה לך כזו מתיקות נפלאה בתורה עד שכל שאר הדברים בעולם יחשבו לצער ביחס לתורה. 

אפי' אם יש חוסר סיפוק והרבה בעיות אבל לא יודעים שמחוץ לעולם התורה שמה הכל חשוך ומר [פינסטער און ביטער], אין חיי משפחה ואין שלום ואין כלום אצל הטובים ביותר והעשירים ביותר יש יסורים נוראים בלי תורה גם עולם הזה אין. 

 

Monday, February 27, 2023

How To Strengthen Memory

Eric Barker

My memory consists of 70 percent lines from Rocky and Bullwinkle episodes and 30 percent embarrassing moments. Why? I have no idea. Often, memory seems to make no sense.

But here’s the thing: a lot of what we think we know about how memory works is wrong. First off, it’s not a perfect video recording of what happened. Memories are a lot more like Legos, assembled and reassembled each time, and rarely in the same way twice.

And memory isn’t even one system. It’s a collection of different systems in your brain: episodic, semantic, procedural, working, sensory, etc. This is why you can maintain a memory in one type despite losing it in the other. (I doubt you have any problems tying your shoes -- procedural memory -- but you may find it impossible to recollect the moment you learned to tie your shoes -- episodic memory.)

No, your memory is never going to be perfect. (Having a photographic – “eidetic” -- memory is almost unheard of in adults, though it’s not uncommon in children.) But we can all improve our memories.

We’re going to cover a lot of different techniques here but don’t worry; I’ll give you mnemonics to help remember them. This way we can prevent any unintended irony.

Andrew E. Budson is a professor of neurology at the Boston University School of Medicine and Elizabeth Kensinger is the chair of the department of psychology and neuroscience at Boston College. Their new book is “Why We Forget and How To Remember Better: The Science Behind Memory.”

Reminder: Your Brain Is Part Of Your Body

Yeah, shocking. But it matters. The things that improve your physical health improve your brain’s health -- like exercise. You might refer to the treadmill as the “dreadmill” but spending a little more time on it can help. Exercise increases brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF), a hormone that increases hippocampal volume and improves your memory. (In fact, a vigorous exercise regimen in midlife might delay dementia onset by a decade.)

Of course, nutrition matters too. Variations on the Mediterranean diet have been shown to have positive effects on the performance of your mental hard drive. And take it easy with the booze. Or even better, eliminate it altogether. And get some sunshine. Low levels of vitamin D double your chance of Alzheimer’s.

BAH, BAH, BAH. “Exercise and eating right are good.” Get to the fancy brain stuff.

Okay, I hear you. But there’s one more thing that’s a big deal when it comes to fundamentals: sleep. It matters. A lot. Sleep is when a lot of the hard work of memory consolidation gets done. Don’t deprive yourself. (And sleeping poorly may increase the chance of Alzheimer’s too.)

Sleep is one of the reasons why “cramming” doesn’t help students learn over the long haul. Spacing out your learning does work. Why? You need some sleep in there to really retain stuff.

Okay, enough basics. You try to learn something but your brain immediately blows it out the airlock. How do we get memories to stick?

Encoding

Yes, yes, Sherlock Holmes used a “memory palace” on TV and it was really cool. That technique is real but, it is, as they say: a lot of work. We’re gonna concentrate on stuff you’ll actually use.

There are four techniques for better encoding your memories, so remember the acronym FOUR:
Focus
Organize
Understand and relate
Recruit multiple systems

Focus

What’s the primary reason you forget? Because you weren’t paying attention in the first place. Focus is key. When trying to make a deposit in your memory bank, don’t multitask and avoid distractions.

Beyond that, get motivated. If your brain is surrounded by a moat of indifference, there’s a lot less chance that anything going in will ever come out. The mere intention to remember things matters. When students tell themselves “This is going to be on the exam”, they’re more likely to retain it. The reverse is true as well – when you tell people “This isn’t important” it makes them less likely to remember it.

Organize

Giving structure and meaning to information provides scaffolding for memory. This is why remembering lists of numbers is hard – it’s totally abstract. Memory works off patterns so create patterns to remember better.

This is why mnemonics (like FOUR) are helpful. I’m not a doctor, but if you tell me your symptoms I know the first steps to do a differential diagnosis. How? Because I remember the word VINDICATE: Vascular, Infection, Neoplasm, Drugs, Idiopathic, Congenital, Autoimmune, Traumatic, Endocrine. (Please don’t email me with your health issues. I don’t accept your insurance.)

Creating visual images works too. The more silly and wacky, the better because your brain remembers things that are distinctive. If you’re trying to remember that the word “jentacular” means “relating to breakfast”, imagine your friend Jen tacking you to an enormous bowl of cereal. Or, if you’re of the musical type, take the information and create a catchy jingle that will mentally plague you for the rest of your life.

Understand And Relate

Don’t just treat information like random facts. Try to understand it. Often, we don’t encode stuff well because our efforts are undercooked. More effort means more remembering.

Distill ideas to fundamental principles. Write a summary. Explain it to someone else. Or if you’re really nuts, write long blog posts about them and share those with the world. Work with the information so much that it leaves cognitive stretch marks.

Along similar lines, make information relatable. Again, abstract is no good. We remember important things so find a way to relate it to you or your life. Connect it to prior knowledge.

Recruit Multiple Systems

The reason you can’t remember where your car is in the parking structure or what you ate for lunch last Thursday is because those things happen often and they’re not distinctive. You do remember great meals – or ones that made you sick. So notice details that make these everyday moments unique if you want to be able to pull them out of your mental landfill later.

If those details are emotional, all the better, because emotion tags memories better than almost anything. (This is why you can’t remember facts you learned in school, but you easily remember embarrassing moments from school.)

A good way to make things distinctive is by leveraging multiple memory systems. Rather than merely trying to recollect where you put your keys (episodic memory), always put your keys in the same place (procedural memory). Or say “I’m putting my keys on the dresser” to engage semantic memory.

Okay, we got the memories in – how do we get them out?



Recall
To recall, use RAMS:
Relaxed
Aids
Minimize Interference
Situation

Relaxed

Merely telling people that their memory is being tested stresses them out and they perform worse. Anxiety helps encoding but usually hurts recall.

So when trying to remember, relax and give it a moment. We all get stuff stuck on the tip of our tongue. 

Aids

If your memory is a repeat offender, don’t be afraid to take notes. Memory aids are a positive. Be deliberate and consistent about outsourcing memory. Develop a routine around this and it can work wonders. You have a notes app on your phone. Use it.

Minimize Interference

Do not run through all the possible answers in your head. This leads to something memory researchers call “interference and blocking.” You get stuck on those wrong answers.

Instead, think around the subject. When your brain is doing its internal Google search, try using related search terms. When we leverage general and diverse retrieval cues, we do better. When trying to remember someone’s name, ask yourself: Where did I last see this person? Who else knows them? What did we talk about last time I saw them? What else do I know about them?

Situation

Memories are strongly associated with the context you learned them in. When facing Ambien level of amnesia, mentally return to the situation where you learned something -- both internal and external. Imagine the layout of the book you read or the notes you took. Think about how you felt at the time of encoding.

Similarly, research shows people remember better when the test happens in the same place and under same conditions as studying did. Try to acquire information in the same way you will need to retrieve it. Reading a book about jiu-jitsu techniques won’t produce the same effect as performing the technique on the mat.

Okay, time to address the big, scary issue. You’ve been forgetting things lately. Is it normal aging or a sign of dementia trying to reformat your hard drive?



Normal Aging Or Alzheimer’s?
Is it harder to briefly keep a fact or number in your head as you’re working with it? Does it take more effort to get something into long term storage? To retrieve it? Do you have trouble with names? Are your memories less reliable and sometimes inaccurate?

Well, then don’t worry because these are all normal as you age, especially after 60. Sorry, the mental warranty is up. But the techniques above (and a little effort) can help.

But what’s dementia look like? The most common symptom of Alzheimer’s is rapid forgetting. New information just vanishes or is difficult to recall while older facts remain. This happens to everyone occasionally but if it happens a lot, that’s a concern. Also, with dementia, word finding becomes difficult even for ordinary nouns. (If you can’t remember the dog’s name, that’s normal. If you can’t remember the word “dog”, that’s a problem.)

How do we reduce the chance of getting dementia? No, brain games don’t help. But spending time with friends and loved ones does. And reduce those negative social interactions as much as you can.

Too much TV and social media is not a good thing. But seeking out rich, novel experiences is a positive. So keep learning new, interesting stuff. “Use it or lose it” is true. And don’t sweat normal age-related memory issues too much. People with positive views of aging show 30% less decline in cognitive performance.

Alrighty, we covered a lot. Let’s round it all up – and learn the upside of an aging brain...



Sum Up
Here’s how to make your memory stronger: Your Brain Is Part Of Your Body: Take care of your body to take care of your brain. Most important: get your sleep.
Encode: Remember the acronym, FOUR: Focus, Organize, Understand and Relate, Recruit Multiple Systems.
Recall: Remember the acronym, RAMS: Relaxed, Aids To Memory, Minimize Interference, Situation.
Normal Aging Or Alzheimer’s?: Memory worsens with age. Most problems are normal. If you are rapidly forgetting things – it just happened and it feels like it never occurred – that’s an issue. This happens to everyone occasionally but if you’re full-on Dory from “Finding Nemo,” see a doctor. So what’s the upside to an aging brain?

Older brains aren’t as good at remembering details but they’re very good at recalling the gist of things. So as you get up there in years, you can actually be better at “seeing the forest for the trees.” Just like when it’s difficult to find something on your computer because there are too many files, having too many details can make getting to what’s relevant harder. Older brains can also be better at seeing commonalities between situations and discerning what’s key.

We don’t fully grasp the human mind but, as Emerson Pugh said, “If the human brain were so simple that we could understand it, we would be so simple that we couldn’t.” But, in a way, what our brains choose to remember can teach us a few things about what’s important in life. We remember what is distinctive, organized, and useful. We remember what we work hard at. And, perhaps most of all, we remember emotion.

You’ve learned how to encode. You’ve learned how to recall.

Now go do some things worth remembering.


Adventures Into The Enchanted World Of Prazim And Mukafim - Part 6 - AND MORE!!-:)

Here!!!

Rambam Hilchos Melachim 5/5: Geirim From Amalek?/ Mitzvas Yachid Or Tzibbur? - Part 5

Adon Olam - Bi-ays Tzara 

Mishenichnas Adar - Learning The Midah Of Simcha And Bitachon From Rav Avraham Genechovski ztz"l

Kavod Aviv Vs. Kavod Rabbo - Part 4

Purim And The Secret Of Smell

Lifnei Hashem - On Purim???

Dancing On Purim

Kavod Aviv Vs. Kavod Rabbo - Part 5

The War Plan Against The Forces Of Evil

What Purim Weddings Teach Us about Purim

The Relevance Of The Mitzva To Erase The Memory Of Amalek In Our Times

What's So Funny About Purim?

Nedivus HaLev

Purim And Tikva

Zero Sum Games

Our society is so fixated on sports without ever pausing to consider the premise behind the games. The only way I can win is if you lose. The point is less to play well than to play better than the other guy/s. Even if your team only made one foul shot in an entire basketball game [which is beyond pathetic] - if the other team didn't score you won. You win - I lose. I win - you lose. And one is supposed do everything he can to win. 

How SHOULD a Jew live his life? By being razor focused in his life to make sure that his friend WINS without paying too much attention as to whether he himself is winning. You properly learn mussar for a while and find yourself in disbelief that the world is so involved in an endeavor that is [on various levels] so anti-mussar.

They never told me this when I was a kid. They just brainwashed me [and an entire culture] that a] the game matters and b] that I should win without giving thought for a moment how it feels for the other guy to lose. This creates an unhealthy sense of competition among people who are not here to compete. We are here to make a Tikkun Olam Bimalchus Sha-dai by bringing chesed and ahava wherever we go.  

The Messianic vision of the ideal world is [per Rambam Melachim 12-5] that there is no תחרות - competition [which is lumped with רעב מלחמה and קנאה!!] and so is our state in Olam Haba - no תחרות [Brachos 17].  So competition is a sign of an incomplete and flawed reality. We just magnify that reality when we actually encourage competition instead of teaching our youth [and ourselves] that we are not here to beat "yenem" but to empower him in every which way. 

Is there value to sports? There is value to almost everything. We have to know how to use it in the most effective and spiritually impactful way. 

---------

Comment section: 

Ehrman already started drinking a week before Purim. He's nuts.

Justaguy from Flatbush  

I see what youre saying but I agree with justaguy.

Rationalist Jew 

Chinese Auctions

What IS a Chinese Auction and what has it to do with China??

Organizations want your Tzdaka money but they know that if they just ask for it you are probably not going to give or are going to give very little. It is not that people don't give but that the "Tzdaka market" is swamped and highly competitive. I know one fellow - for example - who has probably hundreds of million$$$$ if not more. Every time I ask him to donate to a worthy cause he refuses. His name is all over the place [plaques on walls of buildings, books etc. etc.] b/c he gives a lot of money to Tzdaka but b/c there are so many requests he often has to say no. Not even a dollar. Not even a nickel. I actually know many very wealthy people out of whom it is hard to extract a dollar for Tzdaka. They are not bad people. Just swamped with requests. Lots of needy people, lots of worthy causes. Lots of saying no. [Some people get very angry when hearing or reading mussar about giving Tzdaka. So this isn't for them. Mussar is not intended to get people angry but to elevate and purify].

So the Tzdaka organizations figured out an idea. Print a colorful, fancy brochure [costing thousands of Tzdaka dollars...] with images of lots of prizes and promise donors that potentially [no guarantees] they can win prizes if they give Tzdaka. In other words - they appeal to the selfish part of man. Bidders buy tickets and use them to bid on items. The more you want something, the more tickets you buy and put into the jar to increase your chance to be drawn as the "lucky" winner. 

“Chinese auctions” became popular during the late 1800s when Chinese immigrants came to the United States facing discrimination, low wages, and lack of legal protections [like the Jews, blacks and other groups...].

In American slang during this time, “Chinese” began to be associated with cheapness [rivaling only the stereotypical Jew....]. Many believe this is the origin of “Chinese auction,” as a name for raffle-style fundraising events with inexpensive tickets and prizes. Especially today, amid increased calls for racial inclusion and "equity" in our institutions, organizations, and public forums (as well as the COVID-19 pandemic’s impacts on Asian-American communities), “Chinese auction” is [according to the website I copied from....] an outdated term that many nonprofits are looking to replace. It is also racist to say that Corona started in China. Everyone knows that Trump started it in order to get re-elected. Trump is also known to be cheap. So some are calling it "Trump Auctions".

In any event, in my house there is a moderate, not harshly imposed, "cherem" against Chinese auctions. If someone is appealing to the selfish part of me and wants to get my money [or the money Hashem gave me to give out] by offering me prizes - sorry. Why should I cultivate a part of me I am trying to eradicate??? I am selfish without their help, thank you. This is not a big loss for any organization, given my over the top wealth. עשי"ר is roshei teivos ע'יניים ש'יניים י'דים ר'גלים. If you have eyes, teeth, hands and feet you are TRULY rich. [I have B"H all four so I am ROLLING in it. I also have a tiny tiny tiny bit of Torah and טוב לי תורת פיך מאלפי זהב וכסף.] But you are not donating them anywhere so that is not what they are after. They want your dough and bribing you with prizes is how they are going to get it. And it WORKS!! That is why these Chinese Trump Auctions are so successful.

So SWEETEST FRIENDS!!! Let us try to develop the G-dly, altruistic side of ourselves. Not the western, consumerist, self serving part.

Of course - מתוך שלא לשמה בא לשמה and if a person gives Tzdaka with an ulterior motive it is still valid Tzdaka ['עי' פסחים ח] - but better shoot for the ideal. The Mishkan was built with נדיבות הלב [as the psukim emphasize]. A generous heart brings the שכינה. 

לבוש שק

Mordechai wears sackcloth ["שק" in Hebrew too!] when he hears of the evil decree. Esther sends him clothing. 

Asked the Rosh Yeshiva ztz"l: Mordechai didn't have a Kapote? THAT was the problem?? What was Esther thinking??

Asking for a tailor friend. 

Sunday, February 26, 2023

בית האסורים

 "האדם עסוק עם עצמו מהבוקר עד הלילה וסגור בתוך בית האסורים של הד' אמות של עצמו ואינו רואה שום דבר חוץ מרצונו וכל זמן שלא יצא משם הוא לא מבחין בכלל שיש עוד אנשים בבריאה חוץ ממנו." [רנ"ו זצ"ל]

ITAMAR TZVI REFAEL BEN DEVORAH ESTHER

PLEASE PLEASE DAVEN AND PASS ON THROUGH ANY MEANS. HE IS A DOCTOR WHO HAS HELPED SO MANY THOUSANDS AND IS NOW IN CRITICAL CONDITION. 




(א) לַמְנַצֵּחַ בִּנְגִינוֹת עַל הַשְּׁמִינִית מִזְמוֹר לְדָוִד. (ב) יְהוָה אַל בְּאַפְּךָ תוֹכִיחֵנִי וְאַל בַּחֲמָתְךָ תְיַסְּרֵנִי. (ג) חָנֵּנִי יְהוָה כִּי אֻמְלַל אָנִי רְפָאֵנִי יְהוָה כִּי נִבְהֲלוּ עֲצָמָי. (ד) וְנַפְשִׁי נִבְהֲלָה מְאֹד ואת (וְאַתָּה) יְהוָה עַד מָתָי. (ה) שׁוּבָה יְהוָה חַלְּצָה נַפְשִׁי הוֹשִׁיעֵנִי לְמַעַן חַסְדֶּךָ. (ו) כִּי אֵין בַּמָּוֶת זִכְרֶךָ בִּשְׁאוֹל מִי יוֹדֶה לָּךְ. (ז) יָגַעְתִּי בְּאַנְחָתִי אַשְׂחֶה בְכָל לַיְלָה מִטָּתִי בְּדִמְעָתִי עַרְשִׂי אַמְסֶה. (ח) עָשְׁשָׁה מִכַּעַס עֵינִי עָתְקָה בְּכָל צוֹרְרָי. (ט) סוּרוּ מִמֶּנִּי כָּל פֹּעֲלֵי אָוֶן כִּי שָׁמַע יְהוָה קוֹל בִּכְיִי. (י) שָׁמַע יְהוָה תְּחִנָּתִי יְהוָה תְּפִלָּתִי יִקָּח. (יא) יֵבֹשׁוּ וְיִבָּהֲלוּ מְאֹד כָּל אֹיְבָי יָשֻׁבוּ יֵבֹשׁוּ רָגַע.


(א) לַמְנַצֵּחַ מִזְמוֹר לְדָוִד. (ב) עַד אָנָה יְהוָה תִּשְׁכָּחֵנִי נֶצַח עַד אָנָה תַּסְתִּיר אֶת פָּנֶיךָ מִמֶּנִּי. (ג) עַד אָנָה אָשִׁית עֵצוֹת בְּנַפְשִׁי יָגוֹן בִּלְבָבִי יוֹמָם עַד אָנָה יָרוּם אֹיְבִי עָלָי. (ד) הַבִּיטָה עֲנֵנִי יְהוָה אֱלֹהָי הָאִירָה עֵינַי פֶּן אִישַׁן הַמָּוֶת. (ה) פֶּן יֹאמַר אֹיְבִי יְכָלְתִּיו צָרַי יָגִילוּ כִּי אֶמּוֹט. (ו) וַאֲנִי בְּחַסְדְּךָ בָטַחְתִּי יָגֵל לִבִּי בִּישׁוּעָתֶךָ אָשִׁירָה לַיהוָה כִּי גָמַל עָלָי.



לַמְנַצֵּחַ מִזְמוֹר לְדָוִד. (ב) יַעַנְךָ יְהוָה בְּיוֹם צָרָה יְשַׂגֶּבְךָ שֵׁם אֱלֹהֵי יַעֲקֹב. (ג) יִשְׁלַח עֶזְרְךָ מִקֹּדֶשׁ וּמִצִּיּוֹן יִסְעָדֶךָּ. (ד) יִזְכֹּר כָּל מִנְחֹתֶךָ וְעוֹלָתְךָ יְדַשְּׁנֶה סֶלָה. (ה) יִתֶּן לְךָ כִלְבָבֶךָ וְכָל עֲצָתְךָ יְמַלֵּא. (ו) נְרַנְּנָה בִּישׁוּעָתֶךָ וּבְשֵׁם אֱלֹהֵינוּ נִדְגֹּל יְמַלֵּא יְהוָה כָּל מִשְׁאֲלוֹתֶיךָ. (ז) עַתָּה יָדַעְתִּי כִּי הוֹשִׁיעַ יְהוָה מְשִׁיחוֹ יַעֲנֵהוּ מִשְּׁמֵי קָדְשׁוֹ בִּגְבֻרוֹת יֵשַׁע יְמִינוֹ. (ח) אֵלֶּה בָרֶכֶב וְאֵלֶּה בַסּוּסִים וַאֲנַחְנוּ בְּשֵׁם יְהוָה אֱלֹהֵינוּ נַזְכִּיר. (ט) הֵמָּה כָּרְעוּ וְנָפָלוּ וַאֲנַחְנוּ קַּמְנוּ וַנִּתְעוֹדָד. (י) יְהוָה הוֹשִׁיעָה הַמֶּלֶךְ יַעֲנֵנוּ בְיוֹם קָרְאֵנוּ.

Short Suspension

Before his talmidim went to public buildings, whether the post office, hospital, or Department of Motor Vehicles, Rabbi Trenk would remind them that even though wearing a hat during tefillah is halachah, wearing it in public buildings could be seen as a sign of disrespect, so they should remember to remove their hat and hold it in their hands. 

In the beis medrash, a bachur sat learning in his seat, but he was not wearing socks, just flip-flops. Rabbi Trenk felt this was disrespectful, and wondered aloud why the young man wasn’t wearing shoes and socks. “Oh,” the boy looked down and smiled, “because these are in style, everyone’s wearing them.” The rebbi considered his words. “But why can’t you wear them with socks?” asked Rabbi Trenk. The boy laughed at the question. “Because there’s a piece of plastic that goes between the toes.” The boy lifted his foot to show Rebbi. “You can’t wear flip-flops with socks.” Rabbi Trenk nodded and le the beis medrash. He returned several minutes later and handed the bachur a rolled up pair of socks. “Here, I made you a pair of socks with splits in the toe, so now you can wear the flip-flops, be in style, and also learn with proper dignity…” 

Late one night, there was action in the yeshivah kitchen, which was meant to be locked. Rabbi Trenk headed over and saw a boy scrambling eggs for a group of friends. This was against the rules, and Rabbi Trenk was upset. He sent them out and relocked the kitchen, ending the party. A few weeks passed. On a Motza’ei Shabbos, the bachurim went to play basketball at the JCC, as usual. Rabbi Trenk was driving them back to Adelphia, and he casually looked at the bachur he had “caught” just a few weeks earlier. “Mordechai, the boys love your eggs, you make delicious eggs; can you make eggs for everyone when we get back to yeshivah?” That was it. It became Mordechai’s job to make eggs after that, and he enjoyed this task immensely, proudly preparing eggs every Motza’ei Shabbos — because while Rebbi had to react to the breach of rules, he had also found another talent to celebrate in one of the talmidim, and so he used it to its fullest, allowing the boy to shine. 

One Erev Shabbos, a bachur seeking a ride to Lakewood came to the Trenk home, knowing that even if Rebbi couldn’t drive him, he would help him find a ride. Rabbi Trenk was washing the floors for Shabbos, and he handed a mop to the bachur. “I will drive you once the floor is done, let’s go,” Rabbi Trenk said. They worked side by side, and Rabbi Trenk smiled and commented, “I’m not thanking you, because you’re not doing me a favor. I’m doing a favor for your future wife, im yirtzeh Hashem, because you will know how to mop a floor and that it isn’t beneath you.” 

He had no tolerance for gossip. If a bachur came to share something negative he had seen in a friend or classmate, Rabbi Trenk would react with disappointment — in the one who had tattled on a friend. A bachur needed a ride to Brooklyn, and he called the Trenk house late one night to ask for Rebbi’s help. It was close to midnight, and Rabbi Trenk pointed that out. “You need to know that it’s not okay to call a house after 11 o’clock at night,” he said, and then hung up. The next morning, Rabbi Trenk found the bachur and made it a personal mission to find him a ride, but the night before, there had been a different priority: chinuch in derech eretz. Once the lesson was taught, he made it his business to fulfill the request. 

A bachur was suspended from yeshivah and told to go home. Rather than put him on a bus, Rabbi Trenk drove him home. Throughout the trip, the boy kept muttering, “My father is going to kill me, he’s going to be so angry. I’ll never survive this.” They reached Brooklyn, then turned onto the boy’s block. “My father’s going to kill me,” the boy said miserably as they pulled up. “Go, sit down on the steps, you have to go home,” said Rabbi Trenk as the car slowed down in front of the house. The boy shuffled out of the car and sat down on the steps as Rebbi had instructed him. Rabbi Trenk pulled away, then reversed the car after a few moments and stopped the car in front of the house. “Get back in. You went home. The suspension is over,” he said, and headed back to yeshivah. 

Rabbi Trenk came into the dormitory to hear music playing from a portable player known as a “boom box,” which was prohibited in the yeshivah. He approached and lifted the device high, then brought it down and broke it. The music stopped suddenly and it was quiet in the room. Still holding it in one hand, Rabbi Trenk reached into his pocket with the other hand, pulling out his wallet. “Here,” he said, handing a $50 bill to the owner of the music player, “this is what you paid for it, you don’t have to lose out.” Another time, he encountered a boy using a similar device, and Rabbi Trenk felt that a different course of action was called for. “There are rules, there are rules,” he said. “I must take it away. Those are the rules,” he said, reaching for the appliance. Then he paused and looked at the bachur. “Now that I took it away, can I ask you to be my shomer, and guard it for me? Can you make sure it’s put away and never again seen on yeshivah premises?” He returned it to its owner, having made his point by enforcing the rules — and showing compassion for his talmid as well. 

There were no conventional methods and unconventional methods of teaching: it was just Rabbi Trenk being himself. He taught boys deep into their teens, but he had no problem “reading” to them. Every day, he would pick up his favorite book, All for the Boss, and read several paragraphs to them, animated and involved as if he had witnessed the stories himself. It wasn’t a traditional mussar classic, but to Rabbi Trenk, this was mussar seder: he wanted them to dream big, to live Yiddishkeit to the fullest. He understood that many of them would go on to become not rabbanim or mechanchim, but lay people. In the pages of the book lived the model for the lofty spiritual levels of a baal habayis, a working man, and he hoped they would internalize that. Rabbi Trenk’s beloved granddaughter, Frumie Engelson, was very sick, and for close to a full year, his talmidim davened for her as if for a younger sister. When she passed away, the talmidim attended the levayah. Their rebbi, who usually stood tall and strong, seemed to have wilted. He stood near the fresh kever, completely bent over and barely able to speak. But then he seemed to notice them, the talmidim, and something flickered in eyes. He had an achrayus! “Rabboisai,” he cried out, “you gave us so many tefillos, so many precious tefillos. All those heartfelt tefillos were gathered by Hakadosh Baruch Hu, and He has them in a special place. He knows when or where to use them best… but they were not in vain,” Reb Dovid sobbed. “They were not in vain.” He was a grandfather mourning his precious granddaughter. He was a father broken at the pain of his children. But he was also a rebbi teaching his talmidim, always teaching his talmidim. 

A boy from a chassidishe background joined the yeshivah. He had rebbeim and chavrusos who helped him adapt to the style of learning, but Rabbi Trenk did something else. He took the boy out to the basketball court and taught him to play. Rabbi Trenk sat with him on the sidelines and noted the expressions that the other boys used, teaching the talmid each word and phrase so that he could not only join the game, but also take part in the social experience as well. The yeshivah’s alumni often kept in touch with him, maintaining the close connection even after they had left to learn elsewhere. 

One former talmid wrote a long letter from his new yeshivah, describing the shiurim and friends. Reb Dovid wrote back, thanking him for the report and wishing him well. Then he added a few questions: You didn’t tell me… when do you eat the seudos on Shabbos? Do you get a chance to play ball? A chance to swim?… Meir Dovid, keep on smiling and being on time and most of all, please keep me informed that you’re being matzliach… Dovid Trenk


Yisroel Besser - Artscroll 

Bittul Torah

 Reb Dovid once referred to three people he had known who had the greatest impact on him: Reb Yisroel Feigenbaum, his first rebbi at RJJ; Reb Yosef Klein, who had been menahel at the Mir and Reb Dovid’s first boss in chinuch; and his rebbi muvhak, Reb Shmuel Brudny. “Do you know what these three men, each one of whom made me into a rebbi, had in common?” Reb Dovid asked. “They were all talmidim of Reb Shlomo Heiman: my rebbi, Reb Shmuel, in Rameilles Yeshivah in Vilna, and the other two in Torah Vodaas. Reb Shlomo used to say that every question a talmid asks is a great question. Do you know why? Because the talmid is asking it! That makes it great. Reb Shlomo molded three such gifted mechanchim with that approach,” Rabbi Trenk concluded. 

Reb Dovid wanted the boys to appreciate the greatness of their own parents, and he worked hard to instill in them an appreciation for their fathers and mothers. If he heard a story that would highlight this, he would repeat it again and again, making sure the talmid internalized the message. His talmid Jonah Bruck’s father had once run into a burning shul in Elizabeth, New Jersey, to rescue Sifrei Torah. Reb Dovid would become excited every time he mentioned it, reminding Jonah of his strong roots. 

Years later, when Rabbi and Mrs. Trenk traveled to Chicago to join in the bar mitzvah of Jonah’s own son, Rabbi Trenk opened his speech by remembering this act of courage and devotion. “I’ve got to get the Sefer Torah, I’ve got to get it out, let’s save this heilige, heilige Sefer Torah,” Rabbi Trenk called out. “That was the way of your zeide,” Rabbi Trenk looked at the bar mitzvah boy, “that was the way he lived!” 

When he learned that his talmid Chaskel Bennett’s father was not only a respected doctor, but also a serious kovei’a ittim l’Torah, Rabbi Trenk had a new phrase. “A mishnayos and a stethoscope, a mishnayos and a stethoscope,” Rabbi Trenk would enthuse, “that’s your father, he goes around with both of them,” investing the teenager with genuine respect for what this entailed. 

Some of the boys would get around campus on bicycles, so one of the bachurim asked his mother to send him his bike from home. There was no simple way to do so, so the dedicated mother took the bicycle with her from their home in Manhattan, traveling on one bus, then another, eventually arriving in tiny Adelphia after a trip of several hours. Rabbi Trenk was amazed by her devotion and would mention it often. “Your mother schlepped a bike for hours so that you can be happy in yeshivah.” 

When Shloime Biderman’s parents applied to yeshivah, they were told that there was simply no more room, even though they had a wonderful son. Mrs. Biderman persisted, and finally the administrator explained that the yeshivah meant it literally: there wasn’t a single free bed for the coming z’man. She arrived on the first day of the z’man, bringing her son to yeshivah — along with a brand-new bed, folded in the back of the car. Rabbi Trenk never stopped recalling the creativity and determination of this Jewish mother, intent on seeing her son grow in Torah. 

Reb Dovid mastered the art of loving discipline, able to stand firm and enforce rules without having to resort to frustrated threats and accusations. One morning, he came in to say shiur and the classroom was a mess, papers and used tissues strewn all over the room. “Boys, we can’t learn Torah this way, it’s not kavod. I’m going to leave and come back in five minutes. Please make sure that the room is spotless.” The rebbi left and returned precisely five minutes later. The boys had gone through the motions of cleaning up, picking up a few papers and kicking some of the litter to the side, but the room wasn’t much neater. He looked around the room, but didn’t react. Instead, he bent over and began to pick up pieces of trash. Several boys ran over to help him, but he held up a hand. “No boys, I’m sorry, you had your chance. Now, I will have the zechus of cleaning the room so that it’s a suitable place to learn Torah, and you,” Rebbi looked around, his voice rising a notch, “you will remain in your seats and not move.” For several quiet, uncomfortable minutes, the talmidim watched their rebbi crawl and bend and reach, tidying the room, while they were powerless to help. They learned several lessons that day. 

He insisted on basic respect: If a talmid misbehaved during general studies in the afternoon, he reacted quickly. They quickly learned that chutzpah was a line that could not be crossed. In general, Reb Dovid viewed the hours spent learning general studies as crucial and insisted that the boys take the classes seriously. He would often recall how once, the Adelphia Yeshivah had the zechus to host Reb Yaakov Kamenetsky. Reb Yaakov was on the way back from Lakewood to Monsey, and he had stopped in Adelphia to take a refreshing break. The talmidim lined up outside the home of the rosh yeshivah, Reb Yerucham Shain, and waited for Reb Yaakov. They sang as he stepped out of the car, and then each bachur approached to say shalom aleichem. Reb Yaakov smiled, and then said, “Back to yeshivah, it’s already bittul Torah.” One of the assembled bachurim told him that they were in middle of secular studies, so it wasn’t technically bittul Torah. Reb Yaakov didn’t hesitate. “That’s also bittul Torah,” he said emphatically.

[R' Yisroel Besser - Artscroll]

Saturday, February 25, 2023

A Yiddishe Neshamah!!!

 I had a dream last night,” Rabbi Trenk once told a friend, “and in my dream, Mashiach came… everyone was dancing, but Mashiach was looking around, as if trying to find someone. Finally, he asked me, ‘Where is everybody? Where is everybody? Where are all the rest of the people?’ I didn’t have an answer, but that’s my job in this world… to make sure that when Mashiach comes, everyone is there to greet him…” 

It wasn’t just an attitude or ideology, but a calling. Rabbi Dovid Trenk was on a mission: He wanted each and every bachur to have access to the beis medrash, to feel welcomed in the beis medrash, to be cherished by his rebbeim. Regular attendees at the annual Torah Umesorah convention were familiar with the loud, somewhat raspy voice that would issue from the back of the room, a call for more compassion, more tolerance, more patience with the young people of Klal Yisrael. 

Reb Dovid didn’t require a microphone and it made no difference to him if his name was on the official schedule of featured speakers: they were talking chinuch and he would share his vision of chinuch as well. At a panel discussion with leading roshei yeshivah, the moderator asked a question about expelling a troublesome bachur from yeshivah. 

It seemed intriguing enough. The roshei yeshivah on the panel sat silently, formulating their answers as the audience at the Torah Umesorah convention session leaned in to hear. The stillness of the moment was interrupted by a roar. “A Yiddishe neshamah! A Yiddishe neshamah! A Yiddishe neshamah!” Reb Dovid Trenk was jumping up and down, protesting the question, the topic, the fact that expelling a bachur was being discussed. 

From the dais, Reb Elya Svei looked down at the distinguished “heckler” with undisguised respect. “We don’t argue with Reb Dovid Trenk,” he said. 

Remaining Calm

A woman was shopping in a supermarket when her young child started to cry. The woman, in a calm voice, said, "We just need to get a few more things, Sharon, and then we're done." The tantrum continued, the child screaming even louder. The mother said calmly, "We've finished shopping, Sharon, all we need to do is to pay."


At the cashier, the screaming and crying intensified. The mother, still quiet and collected, continued, "We are almost done, Sharon, and then we can go to the car." The child continued screaming until finally they got to the car and she calmed down.

A young man came over to the mother and said to her, "I watched you in there, and I just wanted to tell you how impressed I am with your ability to keep your calm while Sharon was throwing her tantrum. I learned an important lesson from you."

The mother thanked the man, and then added: "But her name in not Sharon. I am Sharon."

Jerry's "Brain Soup" Philosophy

Jerry Seinfeld about his wife Jessica: "If it wasn't for Jess and the kids, I'd really blow my brains out. Jessica saved my life. She gave me something to care about."

WOW!!! What a philosophy of life. If you are not happy - then blow your brains out. Only b/c he loves his wife and kids he decided to leave his brains intact. 

Mussar Haskel: Without Hashem and Torah - one can reach the strangest and most destructive conclusions. 

Mussar Haskel 2: Being rich, famous and talented is not a contradiction to wanting to kill yourself. Actually - sometimes it is the cause.... 

I wish Jerry "Teshuva Shleima" and a Refuah Shleima.  

Overcoming The Destructive Tzeitgeist [Spirit Of The Times]

 From an article by a Rabbi of an MO communiy in the NYC area: 

In a singles community, roommate issues loom very large, and rabbis are often called in to mediate. Sometimes the issues are not specific to Jews—splitting bills or cleaning the apartment—but in the context of this community, they are seeking a specifically Jewish law perspective on how to navigate these issues. And these modern Orthodox communities also have distinct issues: Halachic disputes may arise if one roommate changes observance levels, so roommates sometimes draw up elaborate contracts of accepted behavior and religious standards within the apartment. Roommate ads include elaborate abbreviations, some of which are understandable only to the initiated, such as SS (shomer Shabbat), SK (shomer kashrut), or NBAO (no boys allowed overnight).

WOW! Orthodox Jews need to stipulate with each other that they will be shomer shabbos, kashrus and to NOT HAVE BOYS SLEEP OVER!! 😟😟   If there is a reason to rip kriyah even in Adar - this is it.

The Rabbi further writes: 

An interesting turn of terminology has developed among a segment of this population. I have heard young men—and some women—describe themselves as shomer biah (refraining from sexual intercourse) rather than shomer negiah (refraining from all forms of physical intimacy, even touch, as Halacha requires), or simply not shomer negiah. 

WOW!! Isn't that ODDDDD!! The G-d who doesn't want one in bed with a member of the opposite sex [outside of marriage] - is the same G-d who doesn't allow you to touch [some say מדאורייתא others מדרבנן but for us it doesn't matter. We aren't Karaites]. Yet - that is the terminology - "I am shomer biah" [in the meantime...]. 

So what is the tikkun? 

What I have noticed is that boys who are connected a] to a Rebbi and b] to Talmud Torah, remain strong. Boys who aren't - fall. Big time. [For girls I can't speak but I have had very limited contact with them over the years. Better that way. Rebbetzins for the ladies, Rabbis for the men. Not that I am a Rabbi but I dress like one].

So Mussar Haskel [regardless of where you are holding in life]: Rebbi and Talmud Torah [especially MUSSARRRRR and Gemara Bi-iyun that has a special כוח!!!!]. Those are לענ"ד the building blocks for staying close to the Source and away from the destruction of basic standards of Kedusha that is taking place between our brothers and sisters in certain places.  

"Adon Olam" In A New Light!


אדון עולם, אשר מלך בטרם כל יציר נברא, לעת נעשה בחפצו כל אזי מלך שמו נקרא. המלוכה העליונה, מלכות אין סוף במובן העליון, היא היכולת המוחלטה ליצור הכל, לברא כל, והיכולת החפשית האין־סופית, המצויה תמיד בפועל בגבורה של מעלה, היא האדנות המוחלטה, והמלוכה האמתית, שהיא עומדת למעלה מכל שם, מכל בטוי ומכל קריאה, שהרי האפשרות אין לה קץ ותכלית, והיכולת אין לה גבול והגדרה. הממלכה החבויה, העומדת למעלה מן הקריאה בחביון עוזה, היא חמדת כל החמודות, זיו כל הזיוים, שמאורה החפץ העליון מתגלה לעשות את כל. ואז בבחינה זו, שיש כבר מקום לסמן בשם עת, מפני החפץ האצילי המגביל את המלכות העליונה, לשם הגלותה שלההויה המעשית, אז כבר יש מקום לקריאה המלכותית המוכנה להתצמצם בבטוי ושם. אדון עולם, מקור האדנות העליונה, המתעלה גם מכל ציור מלכותי מופשט, יסוד חפץ החפצים ורצון הרצונות, אידיאליות של כל האידיאלים, שלמותה של כל השלמות, אשר מלך, בעצמיותה של הממלכה, בטרם כל יציר נברא. ורוח הקודש העליון, המרחף על פני כל האפשריות האין־סופית, למעלה למעלה מכל הגבלה מוסכמת, שמצד אור החכמה המוסכמה להגבלה המעשית, אשר מלך בטרם כל יציר נברא, מרוחב אין סוף של החופש העליון, של הגבורה והחסד המוחלטים, באין גבול ומדה והערכה, לעת נעשה בחפצו כל, בלא שום הכרח, בלא שום מעצור, בלא שום תכן מגביל. אור ההויה המופיע בתור עת מופיע בתור חפץ ג"כ בתור חירות רצון מוחלטה, ועשיתה עשית כל היא, והכל הזה כאין הוא נחשב לגבי הכל העליון, של הממלכה החבויה, של טרם כל יציר נברא. ומ"מ הכל הוא מותאם להדר המלכות האין־סופית, אשר רק אזי מלך שמו נקרא, וגם אזי מלך שמו נקרא, כלומר שהוא הולך בהמשכה מאוחדת עם המלכות האין – סופית, החבויה מרוב פליאתה, וגם מפני תוכן צמצומה בתבנית כל, ביצירת יצורים בפועל ובמעשה, המראים על עזוז נוראותיה, יוכל הבטוי לסבול את התואר, והתוכן המאיר בהגלות כבודו מרשה את הבטוי, להיות מלך שמו נקרא.

ואחרי ככלות הכל לבדו ימלוך נורא. המציאות המורגשת, העשויה, הנה ירדה ברצון גבוה ובחפץ עליון ממרום עוזה של היכולת הנשאה, בעלת האפשרות הבלתי מוגבלת, מרומי האין סוף, אל הגבול המצומצם והמורד המוגבל לכל מדרגותיו. אמנם בודאי לא לעדי עד יהיה מורד זה ועלבון זה שרוי, כי אם הכל נעשה לשם רוממות גדולה והתנשאות עליונה בחביון עוז עליון, במדה יותר מפוארה באין קץ ותכלית מאותה המדה של הצמצום הגבולי, והאפשרות של הבטוי וקריאת השם הממלכתי. והעליה הזאת, של שיבת ההויה לשיא גדלה, היא ככלות הכל, לא כליה של חורבן והעדר, כ"א ככלות כלה שארי ולבבי חלקי אלהים לעולם. השיבה הזאת, של כללות ההויה של הכל, אל מחוז חפצה העליון, השרוי ממעל להצמצום וההגבלה ההויתית, זאת היא עטרת המלוכה העליונה, בנוראותה המוחלטה, אשר אין מקום לשבר את האוזן ביקר מפלאותיה, והמלוכה העליונה האין־סופית היא נזר כל ההתגלות של המלכיות כולן. ואחרי ככלות הכל לבדו ימלוך נורא. ונשגב ד' לבדו ביום ההוא.


והוא היה, והוא הוה, והוא יהיה בתפארה. אמנם אמרנו, שההויה בכללותה ירדה כ"כ הרבה ירידות מיסוד אור אין סוף העליון, עד אשר נצטמצמה בעולמי ההרגשה וההתגלות של היצירה והעשיה, ומקורות הויתם המוגבלת. וכן הורינו לדעת, שיש הבדל גדול בתוכן ובמצב של ההויה בכלליותה, בין העבר שלה בהיותה בחביון עז היכולת העליונה, האין־סופית, בלועה בכלל כל האפשריות האלהיות, שאין להן קץ ותכלית, ובין המעמד של ההוה המוגבלוערכם של הנמצאים בתיאורם המציאותי, ובין התעלותם האחרונה המעולה, במעמד ההשתאבות בגופא דמלכא, ההשבה של ההויות במקורן העליון בפאר חי כל העולמים, ככלות הכל. כל אלה השינויים אין להם יחש וערך כ"א אל המציאות העולמית, אל ההויות בבחינתן העצמית, אבל לגבי השלמות העליונה, שלימותא דכולא, אין כל אלו השינויים חלים כלל, וברוממות עז קדושתה אין שייך שום הבדל והפרש כלל בין המעמד של העבר, של קודם שנברא העולם, בעת שהכל היה עלום בים האוירי העליון של כל האפשריות האין־סופיות, ובין המעמד של ההוה עם כל מורדיו והגבלותיו, ובין המעמד הנהדר של העתיד המלא זוהר, שהכל חוזר בו ליסוד הויתו ברב פאר והדר. אלא בענין אחד ובאחדות שוה הם כל המצבים לגבי עליוניות כבוד אל המרומם, המתעלה מכל שינוי ומכל התפעלות ותמורות. והוא היה, והוא הוה, והוא יהיה, העבר, ההוה, והעתיד, עם השינויים העצומים שבההויות, הוא באחד, בתפארה, בתפארת גדולתו העליונה והמפוארה, שאין כל שינוי וחילוף תופש בו כלל ועיקר, כי אין מצדו שום ערך כלל, להחילוף של ההיה, של ההוה ושל היהיה, וכל העליות וכל הרוממות, וכל מה שהוא באין ערוך יותר ויותר נשגב מן הכל, כלול הוא ברום תפארתו, אשר לו דומיה תהלה.

והוא אחד ואין שני להמשיל לו להחבירה. אע"פ שאמרנו ע"ד אחודן העליון של ההויות כולן בשרשן המיוחד במקור האחדות המוחלטה, ברז היכולת העליון, שהוא תמיד בפועל בכל שלמותו התמימה, ועל דבר ירידתן והתגבלותן של הנמצאות כולן, מראש ועד סוף, ועל דבר חזרתן האחרונה למקורן העליון, מקור האחדות השלמה, לא יעלה על דעת שום אדם לחשוב, חלילה, שיש איזה מין דוגמא וערך לעצמותן של ההויות, אפילו בכללותן ומקוריותן היותר מזוככת, בתור ענין מופרד או מחובר, נמשל או נערך, לגבי אדון כל ב"ה. כי כל אלה הירידות והעליות, ההמשכות והחזרות, תופשות מקום וענין רק לגבי דידן, לגבי הגבלתם של העולמים, של היצור אשר עשה בעוצם גבורתו חסדו וחכמתו העליונה, המתעלה מכל תואר של גבורה וחסד, ומכל הגדרה של חכמה, ומכל תיאור של איזה משל ודוגמא בעולם. ואין לנו כ"א להיות מלאים עז הדממה מהדרת קודש אור אחדותו המוחלטה המתעלה מעל כל. והוא אחד, ואין שני, בכל האופן של ההויות מצד ערכן העצמי. ושלילת השניות הזאת היא שוללת גם אפשריות של המשלה ואיזה צד של חבור בין יציר ליוצרו, כי אין כאן שום חבור ושום משל, כי הוא לבדו הוא עדי עד, ולגבי דידיה הכל כלא ולא נחשב, וכל מחשבותינו הן משוטטות לפאר ולעלה תפארת עזו, מעל כל חבור, מעל כל משל ודמיון.

בלי ראשית, בלי תכלית, ולו העוז והמשרה. אע"פ שאנחנו מדברים ע"ד ראשיתן של ההויות במקורן הנעלם, ואנו מדברים ג"כ ע"ד אחריתן ותכליתן ככלות הכל, יודעים אנו שאין שום יחש של ראשית ותכלית וערך הגבלתן ושינוייהן כלפי מעלה כלל. ועם כל הסלוק של כל יחש של שינוי וראשית ואחרית מערכו העליון, המתעלה מכל שם ותיאור, ומכל ענין של ערך ומהות, הנה רק לו העז, של המצאת ההויות והנמצאים כולם, מראשית ועד אחרית, ולו המשרה, להוביל אותם כולם, בכל מסעיהם, בכל ירידותיהם ושינוייהם, בכל דרכי הסבוך שלהם, בכל מעמדיהם ומצביהם, בכל עליותיהם באחרונה, למטרה הגדולה, הקדושה והעליונה, אשר ידו שתה להם גורלם לנצח. וזאת היא המשרה המוחלטה, בכל היש מראשו עד סופו, משמי רומיו עד עמקי תהומיה לבא ולהתיצב לתכונת צביון המגמה העליונה, מחשבת תמים דעים, מקור הצפיה כולה, המתנשא לכל לראש.

והוא אלי וחי גואלי. עם כל ההכללה האדירה של אין קץ ותכלית, של ההויה בכללותה, אין ההשגחה הפרטית נגרעת במאומה, והוא, אדון עולם, אלי משגיחי הפרטי, כאילו לא היו לו בעולמיו כ"א אני, ועם הירידות הגדולות של ההויות יחד עם הבטחון המלא של החזרתן לתכלית הקדוש העליון של אחרי ככלות הכל, הרי אני ביחידותי קשור בכל מהותי ואני שואב את חיי מחי גואלי, הגואל משחת, את כל המציאות, ובכללה כל פרטיה ופרטי פרטיה, בגאולה שאינה פוסקת, והיא עושה את דרכי הליכותיה בלא שום עיכוב ובלא שום מעצור, החיים התדיריים. החי האמתי, הוא גואלי מרוממי מכל ההשפלות כולן, ומקימי על במתי ארץ.

וצור חבלי בעת צרה. כאשר אנו רואים את הירידות הגדולות של שרשי המציאות, מראשית מקור עדנם העליון עד אחרית תהום המחשכים, ואנו חשים את הבטחון המאושר של היש כולו באדון עולם, אשר לו הראשית כרוך עם האחרית, ברב חסדו וטובו, יודע מזה כל פרט, כל יצור נוצר, כי ביד אל עליון האב הרחום והחנון, הגבור ורב להושיע, הננו כלנו כעוללים בידי אביהם הרחמן, ואנו בטוחים בחלק האלהי אשר עמנו, המאיר לנו בכל המחשכים. כי איך כל ההויות כולן עולות כ"כ בבטחה גמורה אל עליות מקור עדן הויתם, אם לא ע"י אור חלק ד' מעוז התום ומקור הטוב, השוכן אתן תמיד. ומזה ידע כל יחיד את רז אמונת אומן אשר להבטחון השלם והגמור, המוכרח לחדור בכל חדרי נשמתנו, כי תמיד חלק ד' עמנו, וצור חבלי בעת צרה.

Thursday, February 23, 2023

Chinuch In Our Dor

 HERE!

TESHUUUUUUUUUUUVAHHHHH!!!:-)



An NBA player who used an antisemitic slur while livestreaming a videogame suggested this week that he had suicidal thoughts in the aftermath of the incident.

Meyers Leonard, a seven-foot-tall center who at the time was a player for the Miami Heat, described his regret and his efforts to repent during an appearance at University of Illinois, his alma mater, on Monday.

“I’ll be honest: I thank God I didn’t have a gun in the house that day, if you know what I mean,” Leonard told the Chabad audience.

Leonard was on campus to be feted for a $500,000 donation he made to the school’s athletic program. He answered questions about the incident in a press conference before a school basketball game and during a televised forum with Rabbi Dovid Tiechtel, the director of the university’s Chabad house.

It was Leonard’s first time addressing the slur in public since it derailed his career last March.


While playing the first-person shooter game “Call of Duty” last March, Leonard called another gamer a “kike b——” in a heated moment. The remark, which did not appear to be directed at a Jewish person, drew swift condemnation from Jewish community organizations, basketball fans and his employer. He was fined $50,000 and suspended a week by the NBA, and lost several gaming sponsorships. He was also suspended from the livestreaming platform Twitch for a week.

According to an article in The News-Gazette, Leonard was quickly referred to Rabbi Pinny Andrusier of Chabad of South Broward after his slur became public.

The two shared a long phone conversation, Andrusier said, in which Leonard expressed his desire to learn more about the Jewish people.

“I wasn’t exposed to a lot of different culture, religion, etc.,” Leonard said of his upbringing in Robinson, Ill., population 7,150, in the press conference. “I just wasn’t.”

Andrusier invited him to dinner with Holocaust survivors, and later facilitated a community service event in which Leonard helped distribute meals to Jewish families in the Miami area.

He has also visited a Holocaust museum and put on basketball camps for Jewish children, the Chicago Tribune reported.

The rabbi told the Tribune that Leonard’s remorse was genuine.

“I saw him in tears,” Andrusier said of meeting Leonard for the first time. “Authentic tears, sincere.”

When Leonard made the remark, the nine-year NBA veteran was recovering from a shoulder injury that sidelined him for most of last season. The Heat traded him shortly after the incident to Memphis, which immediately waived him.

He hasn’t played in the league since, though he said Monday that was due to his health and that several teams had recently inquired about his services.

According to the News-Gazette, Leonard’s appearance at Chabad on Monday was intended to last an hour, but carried on for 90 minutes at the player’s behest.

Leonard said that he received death threats as contempt for his derogatory remarks surged on social media. And he said the experience of being hated by so many people had traumatized him to the extent that it caused him to revisit — and ultimately process — the death of his father when Leonard was six years old.

He said he had undergone eye movement desensitization and reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, a treatment for post-traumatic stress disorder, as part of his recovery.

“I seek love because of trauma from my childhood, and so often, we run from asking for help,” Leonard said. “I’m a pretty tough basketball player, I feel like, but from the inside, no sir. I was dying, literally.”

Points To Ponder


Novelist Paulo Coelho on taking action:

"One day you will wake up and there won’t be any more time to do the things you’ve always wanted. Do it now."​

​--------------

Biologist Roger Payne on the power of having your boots on the ground and paying attention:

"Any observant local knows more than any visiting scientist. Always. No exceptions."

---------------

"Before you throw more time at the problem, throw more focused action at the problem. You don’t need more time, you need fewer distractions."

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"Patience only works if you do.

Doing the work + patience = results.

Planning to work + patience = you're just waiting."

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Mountaineer Alex Lowe on how to be the best:

"The best climber in the world is the one who's having the most fun."

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Poet Wislawa Szymborska on the source of inspiration:

"Inspiration is not the exclusive privilege of poets or artists. There is, there has been, there will always be a certain group of people whom inspiration visits. It's made up of all those who've consciously chosen their calling and do their job with love and imagination. It may include doctors, teachers, gardeners — I could list a hundred more professions. Their work becomes one continuous adventure as long as they manage to keep discovering new challenges in it. Difficulties and setbacks never quell their curiosity. A swarm of new questions emerges from every problem that they solve. Whatever inspiration is, it's born from a continuous I don't know."

Response To Day Of Hate

Several police departments around the United States are warning Jews of extremist groups planning a “Day of Hate” for Saturday.

The NYPD Intelligence and Counterterrorism bureau said the cautionary message is being circulated due to social media posts and video “instructing likeminded individuals to drop banners, place stickers and flyers, or scrawl graffiti” targeting Jews. They added that at least one person has disseminated a message encouraging these acts of hate to be recorded.

In the warning, the NYPD advised officers to maintain “elevated situational awareness” on Saturday, particularly at locations that “might garner higher interest from these types of actors.”

The Day of Hate appears to have been in the works for a while. On a channel of encrypted messaging app Telegram, members of Crew 319, a neo-Nazi group whose most visible action so far has been a flyer campaign in Iowa, a notice from Jan. 4 called on members to “make your voices heard loud and clear, that the one true enemy of the American people is the Jew.”

But the moderator warned members of the group “to follow their local laws. Crew 319 does not support or encourage any illegal activity. The Jews are watching.”

An NYPD spokesperson said that no threats within New York City have been identified but “out of an abundance of caution, the Department will deploy additional resources to sensitive locations, including houses of worship. We urge all New Yorkers to remain vigilant, and if you see anything suspicious, please call 1-888–NYC-SAFE.”

While the NYPD warning did not say that there was evidence of any acts of physical violence planned, some community groups are still on high alert.

In Westchester, New York, the Jewish Council sent out an advisory informing residents that, while the area had not been subject to a specific threat, “we must continue to be vigilant and to be aware of the threats that such groups pose.”

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Besides being vigilant - we must RESPOND IN KIND!!!

"Day Of Love". When you see a Jew on the street  - hug him. Men hug men. Ladies hug ladies. Lots of hugging. And say things like "I Love You!!! So Glad To See You!!!"😀💗💚💛💜😘

We must fight the Fire of Hatred with the Fire of Love.

And of course - keep your eyes open for any Neo-Nazis and guys named Adolph walking around.  ימח שמם וזכרם! 





Vodka Water/ DO NOTHING!!/ Kippah In Pocket

One day, R' Dovid Trenk asked a bachur to bring him a glass of water in shiur. The bachur, a new arrival in Adelphia, saw a chance to get attention and brought his rebbi a paper cup filled with vodka, which is a clear, odorless liquid. Reb Dovid accepted it and immediately realized that if he would react, the boy might get some badly needed attention, but it would also give the bachur an identity as a trouble-maker, which wouldn’t serve him well. So Rabbi Trenk said nothing, and calmly sipped the beverage as if it were water, never saying a word. 

A bachur in a particular yeshivah had been mechallel Shabbos by turning on a light, and his rebbi, at a loss for how to address it, approached Rabbi Trenk and asked what to do about it. “What to do?” Rabbi Trenk repeated the question, and grabbed the mechanech’s arm. “You should do nothing. That’s what you should do.” And then he leaned forward and said, “And, my friend, do you know how hard it is to do nothing?”

He had evolved in this area, training himself not to react to perceived wrongdoing over many years. In the early years of the Adelphia Yeshivah, some of the boys would play basketball without yarmulkes on their heads, a practice Rabbi Trenk didn’t approve of. One day, he walked out to the basketball court and saw a bachur playing. “Yisroel, where’s your yarmulke?” The bachur looked up and said, “I don’t know, Rebbi, I must have lost it somewhere.” Rabbi Trenk didn’t hesitate. Knowing precisely where it was, he said, “Well, why don’t you look around in your pocket. I’ll bet you’ll find it.” The talmid sheepishly removed it from his pocket and put it back on his head. The years passed. Decades after the episode, this talmid met Rabbi Trenk and shared what he considered a humorous memory: Rabbi Trenk’s quick retort on the basketball court. The rebbi heard the recollection and he blanched, visibly distressed. “I did that? Please, please be mochel me.” 

“But why, Rebbi, what was wrong with what you said?” the talmid argued, feeling bad that he caused Rebbi pain. “The yarmulke was in my pocket, in fact. You were right.” “But Yisroel,” Rabbi Trenk said, “you knew it was there and I knew it was there, so why did I have to say anything?” 

The talmid stood there, marveling at the fact that his rebbi — who had been effective and dynamic thirty years earlier — had grown, developing new insights and practices as the years went by.

Rav Yaakov's Dialogue With His Rebbetzin

Rabbi Avraham Greenfeld was speaking with Reb Yaakov at a wedding when he noticed that the Rebbetzin was attempting to get his attention. Reb Yaakov pulled Reb Avraham along as he went to talk to her. The latter has related their conversation to many chasanim as a model of how a husband and wife should talk to one another and of the concern they should show for one another’s desires. 

“What does the Rebbetzin want?” 

“I want to know when the Rav wants to leave.” 

“Whenever the Rebbetzin wishes.” 

“I want to leave when the Rav wants.” 

“Thee Gemara says that in spiritual matters — mili deshamaya — the husband’s opinion prevails but that in everyday matters — mili d’alma — the wife’s view should be followed. This would appear to me to be mili d’alma.” 

“But listening to the Rav is for me mili deshamaya.” 

“In that case, my mili deshamaya says that we should follow your desires.” 

“If so, I would like to stay another half hour.” 

At that point Reb Yaakov clapped his hands, as he often did when concluding some matter, and said, “Fine, fine, another half hour.” 

Rabbi Greenfeld adds that it seemed to him that Reb Yaakov was already prepared to leave

TOMCHEI SHABBOS RUCHAMA FREIDEL 23rd Annual Lecture Feb 13 2023 - Tolna Rebbe Shlita

Reading Again

 According to Rashi [Megillah 19a] - if a בן כפר already read the Megilla on the יום הכניסה and finds himself in an עיר on י"ד he reads again. 

What's the point??! He was already יוצא??!! 

Tosfos asks this question but doesn't "seem" to give a satisfactory answer עיי"ש...

Asking for a friend who dwells in a village but like to travel to the city.  

Customer Service



"Customer service is free
Most large organizations would disagree.
They hire cheap labor to answer the phone. They install recordings to mollify people who are on hold for hours. They measure the cost of the call center and put loopholes in the warranty.
When you see customer service as a cost center, all of these steps make sense. Any money spent lowering costs seems to raise profits.
But customer service is actually a profit center, for four reasons:
First, because the customer who calls you or shows up at the adjustments window is fully enrolled. Unlike just about every other moment you’ve had with them, in this moment, they are paying attention, leaning into the situation and on high alert. Everything you do here, unlike just about every other marketing interaction you have, will go on your permanent record.
Second, because your competitors have foolishly decided to treat this interaction as a cost, the chances that you can dramatically overdeliver are pretty good. You can’t make a car that’s ten times better, but you can easily produce customer service for your car customers that’s ten times better than what most manufacturers deliver.
And third, because in our industrialized economy, people love to tell stories about service. And so the word spreads (or doesn’t) based on what you’re about to do.
Finally, it’s been demonstrated again and again that the most valuable customers are the loyal ones. While your promotional team is out there making noise to get you new customers, you’d be much better off turning your existing customers into repeat customers and ambassadors.
And so, the money you spend on customer service isn’t simply free. It actually repays you many times over."

Wednesday, February 22, 2023

Safek Mukaf

In our present "The Enchanted World Of Prazim And Mukafim" series, we are dealing with the Rambam Hilchos Megillah 1-11. "Some" Mareh Mekomos for the serious Yeshiva student and adventurous Seminary girl:

😲😲

 אבני שהם (פרץ) דף מט ע"א {מל"מ}
א/יא אגודות אזוב מדברי דף כו ע"ד {מל"מ - ספק דברי קבלה}, קג ע"ג-ע"ד {מל"מ}
א/יא אגרות הראי"ז עמ' צ
א/יא אדני נחושת עמ' שנא
א/יא אהלים עמ' טו
א/יא אוצרות יהושע עמ' תמב {מל"מ}
א/יא אור אברהם
א/יא אור הלבנה (רובין) ח"א עמ' קסו-קעב
א/יא אורח ישראל סי' ו אות ו, הערה סב {מל"מ}, ע {מ"מ}, סי' יט הערה מא {הגהת מל"מ}, סי' כ הערה נו {מל"מ}, סי' כח אות ו, והערה צה {מל"מ}, מילואים לסי' כז ח"א אות א-ב
א/יא אורח צדקה עמ' יט
א/יא אוריין תליתאי (אפשטיין) דף ו ע"ד
א/יא אוריתא יג עמ' קכט {מל"מ}
א/יא אחיעזר ח"ג סי' יח אות א
א/יא אחרית השנים עמ' יז {מל"מ}
א/יא אמונת עתיך (נאור) עמ' לא-לג, לה
א/יא אמרות טהורות (וולפסון) פסחים סי' נג {מל"מ}
א/יא אנצי"ת ע' ברכות הע' 184
א/יא אסיפת שמועות חנוכה ופורים עמ' קכד
א/יא ארזי לבנון עמ' קיח
א/יא ארעא דרבנן (תשעט) עמ' קעה {מל"מ}
א/יא ארץ צבי (פרומר) ח"א עמ' קצז, רנה {מל"מ}
א/יא באורי הרמב"ם ע"פ המאירי
א/יא באר משה (ירושלימסקי) ח"ב עמ' מט {מל"מ}
א/יא באר שרים (שלזינגר) שו"ת ח"ה עמ' רעה {מל"מ}
א/יא בד קודש (פוברסקי) ח"ה עמ' לב {מל"מ}
א/יא בד קודש (פוברסקי) פסחים-חגיגה עמ' רסו {מל"מ}
א/יא בדבר מלך ח"י עמ' רלט
א/יא ביכורי חיים ח"ד עמ' קעד {מל"מ}
א/יא ביצחק יקרא (תשמט) ח"א סי' כט
א/יא ביצחק יקרא (תשע) סי' סד סעיף א ד"ה עוד י"ל וסעיף ד {מל"מ שעה"מ}
א/יא ביצחק יקרא (תשע) סי' סד סעיף א עמ' 246
א/יא בית אהרן וישראל גל' כא עמ' כח {מל"מ}
א/יא בית דוד (תשעט) או"ח סי' תקכג
א/יא בית הלוי ח"ג סי' א עמ' יט {מל"מ}
א/יא בית המדרש {מל"מ בשם חכם צבי} [עי' רש"י סוכה כה ע"ב ד"ה שמל, הגהות רא"ם הורוביץ]
א/יא בית נפתלי (תשסו) עמ' קסד {מל"מ}
א/יא בית שערים ח"ג ליקוטים לפורים {מל"מ}
א/יא בכורי חיים ח"ג עמ' קנ, קסו, ח"ד עמ' כא, נח {מל"מ}, סז, קעד {מל"מ}, ח"ה עמ' קנא
א/יא בני בנים ח"א עמ' קמו {מל"מ}
א/יא בני דוד
א/יא בני יששכר (תשמג) ח"א דף נח ע"ד {מל"מ}
א/יא בני יששכר (תשסח) ח"א עמ' ריד {מל"מ}
א/יא בני יששכר (תשעז) ח"א עמ' קלט {מל"מ - מ"ש הר"ן במגילה וכו'}
א/יא בני ציון (מיטובסקי, תשסד) עמ' עד {שעה"מ}
א/יא בני ציון (שפירא) דף יג ע"א {מל"מ}
א/יא בנין שלמה (הכהן) ח"א עמ' שעה
א/יא ברור הלכה מגילה ה ע"ב ציון ט {מל"מ}
א/יא ברית אברהם (פרנס) עמ' שכג
א/יא ברכת יצחק (פאלער) עמ' רנ
א/יא ברכת מרדכי ר"ה-מגילה עמ' שעה
א/יא ברכת שלמה חי' סוגיות ח"א עמ' רכד
א/יא בשבילי ברכת הגומל סי' יג ס"ק ז {מל"מ}
א/יא בשבילי החודש הוספות ס"ק ב {מל"מ}
א/יא גור אריה (צרמון)
א/יא גליוני הגר"ש עמ' סב {מל"מ}
א/יא גן דוד דף יז ע"א
א/יא גנזי המלך (תשסג) עמ' תקנט {מל"מ}
א/יא גנזי יוסף (עפשטיין) עמ' מב, תיא {מל"מ}
א/יא דבר בעתו (בוגין) דף ו ע"ב {קוראים בשני הימים מספק}
א/יא דבר יהושע (שו"ת) ח"ב סי' ח {מל"מ}
א/יא דבר סיני על מועדי השנה עמ' צג-צד
א/יא דברי אהרן עמ' סח {מל"מ}
א/יא דברי ירמיהו
א/יא דברי סופרים (סופר) עמ' סח, קנט
א/יא דברי שירה פורים עמ' מב {מל"מ}
א/יא דברי שמואל (מאדלינגר) דף ז ע"א
א/יא דרך המלך (רפפורט)
א/יא הגהות מוהר"י קרט עמ' קי {מל"מ}
א/יא הדרת מלך (זילברברג) דף כה ע"ג {מל"מ}
א/יא המלך ברמה עמ' 46-48 {ספק}
א/יא הרמב"ם ומכדרשב"י עמ' קעה {חידש דין ע"פ תשובתו סי' קכד}
א/יא הררי קדם (תשס) עמ' שלה
א/יא וזאת ליהודה (טאראב) עמ' רט {מל"מ}
א/יא ויקח אברהם [חקרי לב (שלוניקי) יו"ד ח"א קמט ע"א]
א/יא זבחי שלמה עמ' לז
א/יא זבחי תרועה סי' לח אות א
א/יא זכור לאברהם (אביגדור)
א/יא זר אהרן עמ' לד, מג, מח, נא-נב, נד-נה, פח, צא
א/יא חזון נחום זרעים ח"ג עמ' קכו
א/יא חי' חתם סופר
א/יא חי' מהר"ם שיק גיטין עמ' קמח
א/יא חי' ר' יהודה זרחיה עמ' סט-עג
א/יא חי' ר' עזריאל ברכות-מועד עמ' רמג {מל"מ}
א/יא חי' ר"ש קלוגר ר"ה-מגילה עמ' ריג, שיז, שכ, שכג, שלט-שמ {מל"מ}
א/יא חכמת גרשון עמ' קיד-קטו
א/יא חלקת מרדכי עמ' קמד-קמח
א/יא חקל יצחק (שו"ת) עמ' קלה, רו
א/יא חקרי לב (המאור) יו"ד ח"א עמ' תצה, תק
א/יא חשב סופר עמ' קמא
א/יא חתן סופר חנוכה-פורים עמ' קא {מ"מ}, קג
א/יא טוב טעם ודעת מהדו"ב עמ' עו {מל"מ}
א/יא טל אורות (טובול) סוכה עמ' קעח
א/יא טל חיים (טל) ברכות עמ' קצז-קצח
א/יא טל חיים (טל) כללי הוראה עמ' נד
א/יא יד בנימין מגילה עמ' נא {מל"מ}, נב {קוראים בשני ימים}
א/יא יד המלך (לנדא)
א/יא יד שלמה (עזרא) דף כד ע"ב, לב ע"ד, לג ע"ב {מל"מ}
א/יא ידות נדרים השלם עמ' רנ {שעה"מ}
א/יא ידיו של משה דף צ ע"א {מל"מ}
א/יא יחוה דעת ח"ה עמ' סו, ח"ו עמ' פ
א/יא ימי שלמה
א/יא ישא מדברותיך מגילה עמ' קכה
א/יא ישועות יעקב מועד עמ' רמה
א/יא ישועת משה עמ' שסז
א/יא ישורון ח"ה עמ' שיט
א/יא כי שרית עמ' 66, 114-116, 257
א/יא כפי אהרן (זס') קמא עמ' לה
א/יא כפתור ופרח (תשנט) ח"א עמ' קסד
א/יא כתבים (זסלנסקי) ח"א עמ' סד {מל"מ}
א/יא כתר המלך
א/יא לב שלם [מל"מ סוף הל' מגילה, מקראי קדש (תפט) על או"ח סי' תרפח ובהל' חמץ פ"ז, שמש צדקה או"ח סי' ל דף מג ע"א]
א/יא להורות נתן - שו"ת חי"ד עמ' נא {מל"מ}
א/יא להורות נתן מועדים ח"א עמ' נד, ח"ג עמ' רנ
א/יא להורות נתן מועדים ח"ג עמ' רכד {מל"מ}
א/יא להורות נתן מועדים ח"ד עמ' שכ
א/יא לקוטי סופר ח"א דף מא ע"ד {מל"מ}
א/יא מאורי שערים עמ' תלה-תלו
א/יא מאזני צדק ח"א עמ' צא-צב {מל"מ}
א/יא מגן שאול (קצנ') עמ' ו
א/יא מועדי ה' (טרנובסקי) חנוכה ופורים עמ' קי
א/יא מועדי הרב עמ' 156 {מל"מ}
א/יא מועדים וזמנים ח"ב סי' קעד
א/יא מחנה יהודה (קצין) ח"ב סי' לב {ספק באשם תלוי}, לג {רוב בעיירות הוא קבוע}
א/יא מי באר (פישר) ערבי פסחים עמ' קפד
א/יא מי באר (פסח) דף עג ע"ב {מל"מ}
א/יא מי יהודה או"ח סי' פד {מל"מ}, פה {שעה"מ}
א/יא מלאכת שלמה (קמחי) חדושים דף כב ע"ג {מל"מ}
א/יא מנחת אברהם (שפירא) ח"א עמ' פ
א/יא מנחת חיים (שוויד) ח"א עמ' תיא
א/יא מנחת חינוך ח"ב עמ' תנג {מל"מ}
א/יא מנחת יצחק (וייס) שו"ת ח"ט עמ' צט {רמב"ם}, קיד {מל"מ}
א/יא מנחת משה (ירושלימסקי) ח"א עמ' רלח, רסה {שעה"מ}
א/יא מנחת עני (תקמז) דף ג ע"ד {מל"מ}
א/יא מסורה ח"ז עמ' כח, חי"ב עמ' טז
א/יא מעיל צדקה (לנדסופר) סי' נ
א/יא מעיל צדקה (תשעח) עמ' קעו
א/יא מענה אליהו עמ' קפד {מל"מ}
א/יא מפתח הבאורים [אבי עזרי ח"ב]
א/יא מצות ראיה עמ' צו {רוב}
א/יא מקור ישראל דף נב ע"ג, קיד ע"ג {מל"מ}
א/יא מקראי קדש (תפט) דף פב ע"ב {ספק באשם תלוי, רוב בעיירות הוא קבוע}
א/יא מקראי קדש (תשנג) עמ' רכו-רכז, שסג
א/יא מראות ישרים סוכה עמ' קצו
א/יא מרכבת המשנה מהדו"ב
א/יא מרפא לנפש חי' סוגיות סי' לא אות ג {מל"מ}
א/יא משא בני קהת
א/יא משאת המלך מועדים עמ' קמג {ספק - רק בי"ד}
א/יא משמרת חיים ח"ב עמ' פה {מל"מ}
א/יא משמרת חיים ח"ב עמ' פה {מל"מ}
א/יא משנה הלכות ח"ז סי' ק דף עז ע"ב {שעה"מ}
א/יא משנת איש עמ' מב-מו
א/יא משנת אליעזר (רבינ') עמ' קצז {מל"מ}
א/יא משנת חיים דברים עמ' רלד
א/יא משנת חיים שמות עמ' לג
א/יא משנת משה מכות עמ' קז
א/יא משפטי עזיאל ח"ח עמ' קלח
א/יא נבכי נהרות סי' ו ס"ק י {מל"מ}
א/יא נדרי זריזין ח"ג, שו"ת והוספות על חי' הש"ס עמ' קכב {מל"מ}
א/יא נהרות איתן ח"א עמ' רכב-רכג
א/יא נועם ח"ז עמ' צג, שפו {טבריה}, ח"ח עמ' קצז, חי"א עמ' רמב [בצל החכמה ח"ב סי' סז] {מל"מ}, ח"כ עמ' פג, חכ"א עמ' קמג
א/יא נזר הקדש (רזין) זבחים ח"א דף נו ע"ג {מל"מ, על הרדב"ז}, מנחות דף ע ע"א {מל"מ}
א/יא נחמד למראה ח"ב דף קסו ע"ג
א/יא נחפה בכסף (נבון) ח"א - ביאור הל' מגילה {מל"מ}
א/יא ניר לדוד {זמן קריאה לרוב העולם}
א/יא נצר מטעי (פרידמן) סי' כח סעיף ה {מל"מ בשם מבי"ט}
א/יא נר דוד ח"א עמ' פח {מל"מ}
א/יא נרות אהרן
א/יא נתיב מאיר {מל"מ, מחלוקת ר"ן ורמב"ם}
א/יא נתן פריו הל' נדה עמ' כה, ק, קג
א/יא נתן פריו מגילה עמ' ז
א/יא נתן פריו ערבי פסחים עמ' פט, צד
א/יא ס' החיים (קלוגר) עמ' תתתתיג, תתתתטו {מל"מ}
א/יא ס' העתים עמ' 216 {מל"מ}
א/יא ס' השבי"ט עמ' נז {מל"מ}
א/יא ס' זכרון לבעל פחד יצחק עמ' קסא {מל"מ}
א/יא ס' זכרון לר"מ ליפשיץ עמ' תרלא-תרלב, תרמו
א/יא סדר משנה (בוסק')
א/יא סוכת דוד (מן) סוכה סי' מ ס"ק יז {מל"מ}
א/יא סולם מוצב עמ' סח {מל"מ}
א/יא סופר המלך עמ' קכ
א/יא עולת ראיה (וייס) עמ' עח {מל"מ}
א/יא עטרת טוביה {מל"מ}
א/יא עיונים (פאור) עמ' 17
א/יא עין חיים ח"ב עמ' רד {מל"מ}
א/יא עמק התורה (אדר תשעד) אמור אות י {מל"מ}
א/יא עקבי ברכה עמ' קיט
א/יא פניני הסוגיות (שורקין) שיעור יג {מל"מ}
א/יא פרי האדמה ח"א
א/יא פתיחה כוללת (איזנברגר) ח"א הערה 139
א/יא צבא המלך עמ' מג
א/יא צבי תפארת סי' ה (שם שלמה אות א), ס, פב {מל"מ}
א/יא צלח רכב עמ' שסח
א/יא צמח ארז עמ' שסט {מל"מ ושעה"מ}
א/יא קהל יהודה - חי' הש"ס דף לט ע"ד, מ ע"א {מל"מ}
א/יא קהלת יעקב (אלגזי, מהד' רבין) תוספת דרבנן עמ' רעז {מל"מ}
א/יא קובץ המועדים חנוכה-פורים עמ' רנט
א/יא קובץ המועדים פסח-שבועות ח"ג עמ' שי, שנו {מל"מ}
א/יא קול בן לוי (תשסג) עמ' כא {מל"מ}
א/יא קול חיל עמ' צח
א/יא קול מבשר (ראטה) ח"א עמ' קנז
א/יא קול מבשר (תשפ) ח"א עמ' רסג
א/יא קונטרסי שעורים גיטין שעור יג אות ג, קדושין שעור כד אות ד
א/יא קנין תורה בשמעתתא שמות עמ' יא {מל"מ}, נט-ס {שעה"מ}, ויקרא עמ' קטו {שעה"מ}
א/יא קרבן אשה
א/יא קרבן פסח עמ' תתקסז, תתקעא {מל"מ}
א/יא קרית מלך
א/יא ראשי בשמים (רבין) עמ' רכו {מל"מ}
א/יא ראשית בכורים דף נ ע"ד {מל"מ}
א/יא שאל האיש דף י ע"א
א/יא שבט מיהודה (אונטרמן) ח"ג עמ' לח-לט
א/יא שבי בנימין דף כג ע"א {מל"מ}
א/יא שביתת יום טוב
א/יא שבת הארץ - מבוא עמ' 168 {מל"מ}
א/יא שו"ת מהרי"ל עמ' רלד
א/יא שו"ת מהריט"ץ הישנות (תשעו) עמ' תרד
א/יא שו"ת ראנ"ח (תשעד) ח"ב עמ' רעה
א/יא שיח השדה (פרומר) עמ' ס, פו {מל"מ}
א/יא שם יוסף (מועטי) ח"א דף יז ע"ד {מל"מ}
א/יא שם משמואל פרשת תצוה שנת תרע"ב {ספק מוקפים מברכין בי"ד}
א/יא שמחת עולם (לגו)
א/יא שנות חיים (קלוגר) עמ' רלג {מל"מ}
א/יא שעורי הגרב"ד פסחים עמ' רלז
א/יא שעורי הרב שחיטה-תערובות עמ' שמה {מל"מ}
א/יא שער המלך כאן, ח"א עמ' שטז, ח"ב עמ' שטו, שיז, טעם המלך ח"א עמ' שטו {כולם - מל"מ}
א/יא שער יהודה דף קמד {מל"מ}
א/יא שערי תודה ח"ב דף פד ע"ג, פה ע"ד {מל"מ}
א/יא שערי תורה (לעוו) ח"ב כרך א עמ' י
א/יא שערי תורה (לעוו) ח"ג דף קח ע"ב {מל"מ}
א/יא שערי תורה (לעוו) עדות ח"ב עמ' רסח-רסט
א/יא שערי תורה (לעוו, תשעב) ח"ג כרך א עמ' ד, קסט, ריט, כרך ב עמ' קפא {מל"מ}
א/יא שערי תורה (תשעה) חידושי סוגיות עמ' מט, תקנה
א/יא שערי תורה (תשעה) שו"ת עמ' קפז {מל"מ}
א/יא שעשועי תורה נדה עמ' קכט {מל"מ}
א/יא תאריך ישראל סי' ב אות יד-טו הערה לה, סי' יט הערה כז
א/יא תהלה לדוד (מן) או"ח סי' לח
א/יא תולדות יצחק (פחימא) חולין - באר התלמוד עמ' טז-יח
א/יא תורה מציון שנה ד חוב' ג סי' טו
א/יא תורה שלמה אסתר פ"ט אות מג
א/יא תורת הג"ר אלכסנדר משה עמ' קכג {מל"מ}
א/יא תורת מהרא"ל עמ' מג {מל"מ}
א/יא תחומין ח"ט עמ' 346-345
א/יא תיבת גומא (זכרון אהרן) ח"ב עמ' קמו, תמז {מל"מ}
א/יא תנובת ציון דף צג ע"ג
א/יא תרומות חיים סעיף נז אות טז
א/יא תשובה מאהבה ח"א סי' רי {עיר ספק}
א/יא תשובה שלמה או"ח סי' כה {מל"מ ושעה"מ}
א/יא תשובות ר' איסר יהודה עמ' מד {מל"מ}
א/יא תשורת שי מהדו"ת סי' פה

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