Rabbi Avraham Greenfeld was speaking with Reb Yaakov at a wedding when he noticed that the Rebbetzin was attempting to get his attention. Reb Yaakov pulled Reb Avraham along as he went to talk to her. The latter has related their conversation to many chasanim as a model of how a husband and wife should talk to one another and of the concern they should show for one another’s desires.
“What does the Rebbetzin want?”
“I want to know when the Rav wants to leave.”
“Whenever the Rebbetzin wishes.”
“I want to leave when the Rav wants.”
“Thee Gemara says that in spiritual matters — mili deshamaya — the husband’s opinion prevails but that in everyday matters — mili d’alma — the wife’s view should be followed. This would appear to me to be mili d’alma.”
“But listening to the Rav is for me mili deshamaya.”
“In that case, my mili deshamaya says that we should follow your desires.”
“If so, I would like to stay another half hour.”
At that point Reb Yaakov clapped his hands, as he often did when concluding some matter, and said, “Fine, fine, another half hour.”
Rabbi Greenfeld adds that it seemed to him that Reb Yaakov was already prepared to leave
