I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
Thoreau
Sweetest friends - we are all products of our environment. It has been biologically proven [studies cited in the book "How We Decide"] that we decide based on emotion and NOT based on logic or our rational faculties. This means that the vast majority of people are not really looking for the objective truth but what "feels" right. The mind is not a JUDGE that determines choice but a LAWYER that does everything he can to prove his "client's" [i.e. what the person instinctively wants] postion.
I have learned that to try to get someone to think differently from the way they are used to thinking is virtually impossible.
Example: All modern orthodox American kids are pre-programmed to go to college. When being challenged as to why they are going all of the sudden they will think of reasons for the first time and do everything they can to justify their position. If one reason is rejected ["For parnassa" - "Yes, but you can make parnassa without college"] then a new reason will be presented. The explanations are only to prove an already foregone conclusion - he is going to college.
A Charedi boy from Bnei Brak has been programmed that he will never step foot in college. When being challenged he will similarly try to prove his position although it is likely that he never thought about it before. But no matter what arguments are presented it is almost certain that he will come to the same decision he started with.
Lesson - We should try to STEP OUT of our societal influences and try to determine logically and rationally the will of Hashem. Just because we were brought up with certain beliefs DOES NOT mean that they are true. One way to do this is to go to a Tzaddik with a question and decide in advance that you will do whatever he says [an American often has trouble with such an attitude but that is the Torah way "Vi'asisa kichol asher yorucha"]. Another is to learn Torah and Mussar and think what you would tell SOMEONE ELSE in a similar situation to yours. That way it is much easier to be objective.
Too many of our attitudes are determined by popular culture. We must cleanse ourselves and immerse our bodies and souls in the unadulterated will of Hashem. It will be a tragedy to meet our Creator after 120 and find out that our lives were one big mistake.
How sad to die and find out that you never lived.
Love and blessings!:)