Sunday, December 22, 2013

For The Love Of Money

Last night at the weekly tisch the Rebbe Shlita repeated a humorous vertel he heard from Rav Aryeh Binosovsky [who later shortened his name and was the Rosh Yeshiva when the Rebbe Shlita studied at Netiv Meir] in the name of the great gaon known as Reb Eizel Chorif.

The pasuk says ואני בצדק אחזה פניך - I, with justice, see Your [Hashem's] face. The word בצדק is an acronym for Biz tze di keshene - Until the pocket. I will see your face Hashem - until it costs me money. One of the biggest tests of life is being faithful to Hashem even when it costs a lot of money [see Rashi at the beginning of parshas Tzav]. For some, their faithfulness to Torah stops at their pocket.

There is an ancient Yiddish aphorism "A freint bleibt a freint biz di kesheneh" - A friend remains a friend until the pocket. I know a lot of very wealthy Jews and I know a lot of very poor Jews. Often - they are friends with each other. I wonder why this is. There is enough money to go around that the poor don't have to be so poor while the rich can remain rich. The answer, it seems, is A freint bleibt a freint biz di kesheneh.

More remarkably - I know a lot of families where some family members have very little while others have more than they will ever need. Yet the poor remain poor and the rich get richer - in the same family. Flesh and blood. 

Wonder of wonders. 

Reminds me of the story of the Rebbe who wanted to visit a chossid of his in his Manhattan office. When the chossid heard this he said "No Rebbe, I will come to you". The Rebbe insisted on going to the chossid and the chossid saw that the Rebbe was determined so he relented. When he came to the office the chossid opened up his checkbook and said "To whom should I make out the check?"

The Rebbe answered "To your brother..."

Sweetest friends - this is not an appeal for Socialism. If someone earned money then they have a right to enjoy it. But what about others who aren't making it?? People who are trying hard but it's not going. Being financially successful doesn't mean that a person is smarter or more talented. I know some brilliant and very talented people who are poor. I know some pretty stupid [please forgive me:-)] people who are rich. Some people have the Siyata Dishmaya and are successful while others are not.  

This might sound obvious to some but I think the root of the problem is that people think that their money they have in their possession is theirs and forget that it really isn't.... It is Hashem's money and He gave it to them in order that they should have the pleasure and zchus of disbursing it.

The Lubavitcher Rebbe pointed out that in English we call tzdaka - charity. Charity denotes something that people don't have to give but give anyway. Tzdaka means justice - this is not a gift but what is required according to law. In Torah there is no such thing as charity.

How sad the statistics are - every single rich person eventually loses every last penny, every stock, the car, the home - even the shirt on their backs. [Nobody has yet managed to pay off the Angel of Death to leave him alone forever...] All they are left with is the money they gave to tzdaka. How  IRONIC! People think that by giving they are LOSING, while in fact by keeping and hording they are just increasing the amount that they will eventually and inevitably lose. What they are giving is what they will be able to keep in the end. 

I learned the bitter lesson of the powerful and inextricable connection people have with their money when I was trying to fund raise. I would talk to wealthy people, some with millions of dollars, and others with TENS OR HUNDREDS OF MILLIONS OF DOLLARS and all they would have for me is advice. I would be like "For advice I can go to my Rebbe. From you I need a check". No go:-).

One line I heard often was "I am unable to give anything now. But in the future I would like to give." At first I was excited as it gave me hope for the future, but then the same pattern repeated itself -  they never gave. Even once. Then I realized that this line was a catch phrase for "Don't want to offend you - but not a nickel." 

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh - Yidden:-). Sooooo polite!!:-):-) 

These same people would make six figure simchas and go on expensive vacations but when they spoke to me they would lament to me how "rough" things are.

I bless myself [and you]! Things should be so difficult that I should be able to spend two hundred thousand dollars on my children's weddings. Then I should be able to afford to go on a two week vacation to who-knows-where that costs 40K. Of course I wouldn't spend anything near that on a  wedding and I have no interest in going anywhere other than where I happen to be right now [Givat Zeev, Israel] but I would like to be able to afford it... The Mesilas Yesharim stresses that both poverty and wealth are tests. I bless you and me with the latter test. 

Truth be told, may Jews are very giving people, but לב יודע מרת נפשו and there is much improvement that is still required. The Rambam in Hilchos Matnos Aniim paskens that the geula will only come in the zchus of tzdaka.  

The reason I dropped out of active fund raising duty [besides the fact that I found out that I am a lousy fund raiser] is because the job is essentially to convince people to give even though they really don't want to. Or to give more than they want to. That is not pleasant for the giver or for the collector. We have all had that feeling many many times of giving because we felt bad for the person or because it was too unpleasant to say no. I learned that people were giving to my causes for the same reason. I prefer to sit with a Rashba and try to plumb the depths of his brilliance and   understand Dvar Hashem. So I do. Since I made that decision [and it was Divinely guided when He showed me how very little I was collecting] life has been all that much more rewarding and pleasant.  Baruch Hu Uvaruch Shmo! I bless every person who ever helped my causes and even more, those who didn't, with TREMENDOUS success, so that they can both enjoy their own prosperity and share with others.

Sweetest friends!! Remember: The money  - is not yours. You have it to provide for your needs and beyond that to give out, with simcha. Start with family. Then friends. Ask yourself if you really need everything you are spending money on and when you realize that you don't - give the leftover money to tzdaka. Don't resent the many tzdaka requests you receive, they are meant to remind you how fortunate you are. When you give thank the receiver for the honor of being able to give. Tzdaka is a sgula for wealth and guarantees life and this world and the next. You don't lose by giving. 

To conclude with a story. As background information I will tell you that the Rebbe Shlita tells many stories of his grandfathers generosity. He had nothing and found a way to give so much. This story  has dependable eyewitnesses [if I am not mistaken the Rebbe Shlita himself was present].

A man saw the Tolna Rebbe ztz"l at the Kotel. This man had been a member of the Rebbe's Kehilla in Montreal and as a sign of gratitude and appreciation he took out his checkbook and wrote a check for TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND DOLLARS and handed it to the Rebbe. The Rebbe was so excited. He started looking around and spotted the gabbai tzdaka of the Gerrer Chasidim and promptly handed him the check. 

זכות הצדיקים יעזור ויגן ויושיע!