Wednesday, November 30, 2016

The Gift Of Emotional And Spiritual Attunement

לזכות גילה שושנה בת נעכא גיטל לברכה והצלחה בכל מעשי ידיה!!

Really - our goal is to fix the world. But even if ONE PERSON is awakened by something written it will have been worth the time [a great deal of it] and effort. 

So here goes. We go back to the Garden. Not the Garden on 34th street. The Garden of Eden. 

Adam is told by G-d - "DON'T SIN"! 

He sins. 

G-d says - "Why'd ya do it??"

Adam says "It's YOUR fault."

My fault? What did I do?

"You gave me a woman and she made me do it". 

This has repeated itself trillions of times in human history [and in my own life quite a few times and counting]. A person acts in an offensive way or says something hurtful. When confronted, instead of saying "I am sooo sorry. I was wrong. I will try NEVER to do it again. How can I make it up to you?" [How many times have you heard those words??] The person attacks YOU [the victim] for being "overly sensitive" or otherwise at fault. Very often, the person has been the recipient of great kindness from you and instead of being grateful - BLAMES you, as did Adam.

People don't want to admit fault. It is very rare to find a person with whom you can be straight, tell him or her what they did and an immediate sincere apology is forthcoming. Even better when it is accompanied by an expression of appreciation that you expressed your pain. 

People just don't get it. They understand very well when their own feelings are hurt but when it comes to others they become deaf, dumb and blind. 

A well known Very Modern Orthodox rabbi wrote a book about his life. I didn't read it but I heard that it was all about his successes. Did he never fail??

I saw an interview with Trump. He was asked if he ever failed in life. He answered with honesty and forthrightness - No, never. But, he was asked, you filed for bankruptcy four times - isn't that a failure? No it isn't he replies and explained why... But what about a certain business deal you made that loss a ton of money - No, that wasn't a failure either.   

How lucky we are to have a perfect President-elect!!!

[I think it was Obama who said in jest that his greatest asset is his tremendous humility and that his greatest fault is that he is just TOO awesome]. 

We all fail - and constantly. In big ways and small ways. The more emotionally and spiritually attuned we are, the more we realize it. There are people who can go decades without ever admitting fault!! What does this do to their marriages and children [or talmidim]?? How can you fix your faults [and we are all riddled with them] unless you first admit you have them. 

I went to the doctor and told him that he better not tell me that I am sick because I don't want to hear bad news. I want to hear that I am healthy and will live till 200 in good health running triatholons all the while. If the doctor never tells you what you are sick with then you can't treat the illness. 

We are ALL ill. The question is "with what?"

Do we adequately express love to others?

Are we sufficiently sensitive to the needs of others?

Are we sufficiently generous with our money and time?  

Do we hold grudges?

Do we complain too much?

Do we have gratitude for all that we have? Is this gratitude properly expressed and to whom?

Do we give others sufficient honor? How?

There are SOOOO many questions that emotionally and spiritually developed people constantly ask themselves that we should be aware of. 

How are we working on ourselves? Are we better today than we were 3 months ago - even slightly?

Most people remain more or less the same for their entire adult lives.


Be that person for whom it would have been worthwhile to create the entire world.