Looking For More Spirit And Less Flesh

Something that has been troubling me lately....

I don't like giving mussar, especially not to women. How can I admonish a person whom I don't [due to my incurable maleness] fully understand. Nevertheless, I will share with you what is so troubling to me and hope that nobody gets unnecessarily offended..

Apparently, there is a yetzer hara that some girls have to wear immodest clothing [I emphasize 'some' because others girls have no interest in wearing anything but the most modest clothing]. In shul on Shabbos, at simchas etc. one notices many revealed knees, tight outfits, very short sleeves and all around provocative outfits. [I refer everyone to a story from today's daf (brachos chof). Maybe more on that another time].

This is troubling for a number of reasons.

1] Married men become attracted to other people's wives. That is a breach of the most sacred bond we have on earth. I don't blame the husbands for being attracted - they are doing what comes naturally. But despite the fact that I don't blame them, their relationship with their own wives is compromised. So a women wears an eye-catching outfit to shul in order to DAVEN [how ironic] and she becomes responsible for adultery in the mind of a strange man and SHE WILL NEVER KNOW. That being the case she can't even do teshuva. This man will then return home and feel less connected to his own wife. How sad.

2] It is assur. The pasuk adjures ולא תתורו אחרי לבבכם ואחרי עיניכם which includes the prohibition against looking at such women. So a guy who would never eat pork because the Torah forbids it instead commits thousand and thousands of prohibitions of ולא תתורו.

3] It cheapens women. I work very hard on respecting people for their internal world and when they put their flesh on display they seem to be saying "Forget my soul - look at my body". This makes me want to cry.

4] I sometimes see men who are dressed completely like bnei torah and their wives are wearing tight mini-skirts. Do they approve??  How do they make brachos in their presence? One is not allowed to make a bracha in the presence of an immodestly clad woman. Sometimes I will see a Charedi man dressed in the garb of the Polish nobleman of yesteryear while the woman walking next to him [ostensibly his wife] will be dressed as if she just walked out of the fanciest boutique in Paris and while strictly speaking she is covering everything she must, the spirit of the laws of tzniyus is being violated. How odd and disturbing. Only men are supposed to wear "traditional garb" and a woman can wear whatever she wants??

Another related phenomenon is the public display of affection between couples. This takes something so beautiful and holy, namely the physical union of two people who love each other and strive to forge a complete unity, and turns it into a trivial show for the outside world. If they really can't keep their hands off each other then they have serious problems and should either seek therapy or realize that it is not becoming of human beings to act like animals. If they ARE capable of controlling themselves then why can't they wait to do the lovey-dovey stuff in private. It is so much more special when everybody else isn't watching.

I just wish there would be less show of flesh in this world and more spirit. It would really improve our quality of life. 

Would appreciate feedback as always. מכל מלמדי השכלתי