Clarification

Regarding the previous post I received the following email:

Regarding your post regarding modes of women's dress in the religious community- you wrote as follows:

"I don't blame the husbands for being attracted - they are doing what comes naturally. But despite the fact that I don't blame them, their relationship with their own wives is compromised. "
While I agree that there is a natural tendency towards such actions, I don't think that it is proper to not place blame on the husband (nor do I think that is what you meant to say).

It might pay to clarify this point.

Clarify I will.

Men should NOT be looking if possible and when absolutely necessary their focus should not be on what their eyes shouldn't see. Our eyes naturally alight upon what interests us. Whenever I walk into a house my eyes automtically gravitate to the bookshelf because that is what interests me. A person can control his focus and actually see something but not notice it because he isn't interested. Another woman's externalities should interest nobody. IF a man does notice he should then try to immediately distract himself with other more pure thoughts such as "do we say מגו להוציא" or start humming "IM LOOOOOO AAAA-AAAAALEEEEEHHHHHHH, IM LO AAAAA-AAAALEEEEHHHH ESSSSS YERUSHALA-AAAYIIIIM, AAAA-AAAALLLL ROOOOOOSSSHHHH SIMCHASIIIII-IIIIII, AL A-ROSH AL RO-OOOSH SIMCHASIIIIII" or anything else that distracts him.

Yes, it is man's nature to be attracted but we are called upon to overcome our base instincts.

לא עשה כן לכל גוי ומשפטים בל ידעום!!

Love and blessings:-)

After writing this post I started learning the Sfas Emes on this weeks parsha and in the very first piece he explains the pasuk that says שופטים ושוטרים תתן לך בכל שעריך אשר השם אלקיך נותן לך - Judges and policemen you should place for yourself in all of your gates that Hashem gives you.

Says the Holy Rebbe: להיות שופט ושוטר משגיח על כל הרגשה מפתיחת הרצון והחשק שבלב. שזה נקרא שער ופתח בפנימיות האדם יהיה רק לה' בלבד ושלא להיות ברגילות תוך הטבע רק בישוב הדעת. והאמת כי כפי ישוב הדעת והידיעה שהוא רק ממנו יתברך כמו כן זוכה להיות נפתח לו השער

... to be a judge and policemen [not over others but over oneself] on every feeling of will and desire in the heart. This is called a "gate" and opening in the depths of a person that should be soley for Hashem and we should not follow our base nature rather we should be thoughful and at ease. The reality is that to the extent that we are conscious of the fact that everything is from Hashem - the more the gates [of holiness] are opened up.

Yes sweetest friends - we can be policemen over ourselves.