No See - No Harm

Recently I wrote about how people don't return emails or phone calls because the first party can't actually see them so they are not embarrassed to ignore them. In person, however,  they would never wantonly ignore another human being who is trying to communicate.

I have noticed the same phenomenon in fundraising. If one is approached directly, person to person, then he is much less likely to avoid giving than if he is not, even if the need is of the same dimensions. Meaning, very often people give not because they want to give but because they want to avoid the discomfort of directly refusing to give. If they can avoid that discomfort and still not give then they will happily do so. So if they just read or hear about a certain worthy cause they will likely not contribute. If they are directly approached then chances are greater that they will give.

This is sad because we shouldn't be giving to avoid the embarrassment of saying no but because it is an act of G-d to give.  I have learned though that far and few between are the initiators who run to give without prior solicitation. Most people need their teeth pulled and even then....

Another very common occurrence is that people PLEDGE to help [in order to avoid embarrassment] and in the end don't come through on their promises. I am still amazed that someone can say something to someone else and not plan on following through. My last name is translated into English as "Honest Man" so I have trouble with those who aren't.