12 Ways To Create Problematic Children

Ways to ensure that one's children will have problems:

1] Fight a lot with your spouse, especially in front of the children. Try to say really insulting, hurtful things.

2] Instill in the children the idea that money is the highest value. Values, religion and relationships should all take a backseat to the Almighty dollar.

3] Make them feel that their importance is measured based on their grades and other externals and not that they are inherently special and holy. If they don't do well in school then they are failures in life.

4] Put your work above and beyond anything else. If the children need your time and you also have business obligations - always put business first. One must have a list of priorities!

5] Tell the child to do things and then don't follow what you say yourself. For example - tell the child not to talk in shul and then talk in shul.

6] Flout authority. Make fun of Rabbis, teachers and other authority figures.

7] Lose control a lot. It gives a child a sense that there is no stability in life.

8] Be cynical and pessimistic. There is so much evil out there and the child must hear about it.

9] Make sure the children understand that adults don't make mistakes. Never apologize.

10] Never be satisfied with what you have. Always find fault with everything. The food is never tasty enough, the service is always too slow and the gadget never works well enough.

11] Worry a lot about the future and share your concerns with the child. I mean, a person can die at any minute or illness can strike. Make the child feel that he should never experience a sense of calm.

12] Compare him negatively with other children. He really is inferior in many ways and he should know it.

If there weren't parents who followed these rules, I wouldn't have had to write this post.

If after following all of these rules one still has good children, it is truly a Divine miracle:)!