The Risks Of Closeness

Continuing the thought from today's earlier post....

It is important to accept the sometimes sad realities of life because in accepting and embracing them we grow. One of the realities of life is that people are going to hurt you. The more sensitive and self aware you are - the deeper the pain. Good friends are going to let you down. Your parents, with all of their good intentions, are invariably going to hurt you. They are not perfect and in our childlike way we would like them to be. Our siblings will hurt us and so will our children. I sometimes wonder, when a child of mine is not exactly [or even close to] doing what I asked "But you only exist because of me??! I am the closest thing to Hashem Himself for you [not my words but those of Chazal]! And after all I have done for you?!!". They don't exactly see it that way.... It hurts.

And of course the person who will hurt you the deepest will probably be your spouse. The closer the relationship, the greater the likelihood for pain. There is nobody closer than one's spouse. The pain of a divorce is precisely because the couple was once in love and so close, so now the pain of the distance and vitriol is almost unbearable. Even when a couple is fortunate enough to remain married there are often deep feelings of pain. The expectations are so high and are invariably not met. Ouch:).

Our job is to try our best not to hurt others. We have no control over others but all of the control over ourselves.

Think about it beloved friends and tell me what you think. I don't need emails telling me how wonderful the blog is. I DO appreciate hearing what people think because I learn more that way.